Fate/Magic Order - Advice please

Hello all,

I made an MTG set for a Commander deck based on the Fate universe (Fate/Stay Night, Unlimited Blade Works, Grand Order, Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya, Apocrypha, Zero, etc.). I am looking for advice as to the potential legality of the cards in play. Basically, I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for mana cost, abilities, and other things that I missed when making the cards that would make them illegal to use (aside from not being official cards).

The set's commander is the planeswalker Gudako. It has 40 creatures, 11 artifacts, 5 enchantments (6 if you include 1 enchantment creature), 5 sorceries, and 4 instants. I also created 19 non-basic land cards, and 8 tokens for the deck.

The set is at https://mtgcardsmith.com/account/sets/22189

Also, if you think there's a character I didn't include, and it's a horrible travesty, let me know.

Thank you
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Comments

  • @RayearthIX , what exactly are you looking for? Power-level balancing, wording changes to make the cards fit official Magic rules language, or just rules checks to make sure your cards work as you intended?
  • Thank you Corwinnn, didn't realize the set link didn't work.

    @Platypusburger I'm looking for all of the above. My plan is to print these cards to actually use with friends, so I want them to be legal and have power-level balancing. If it's slightly over-powered, that's fine. My concern is that I accidentally made a 4-cost card something that should be a 6 or 7 cost, etc. The abilities should all be alright, as I was cross checking with real magic cards as I did it, but if you see an issue, let me know.
  • Okay, I'd be happy to give you some feedback. Look to the individual cards for my comments.
  • @Platypusburger and @modnation675

    Thank you so much for going through the cards and leaving comments. I'm reading through them now and have started editing some now, and will eventually get through all of them. The grammar part (about commas to indicate ability cost) was something I noticed after the first 70 or so cards I made, and I was going to go back and correct them all if it mattered (and based on your comments, it does! XD). The editing to match modern text is great, as are the numerous card specific comments. So, thank you again for the time you put into looking at the cards.
  • edited July 2017
    @RayearthIX
    No problem, we really enjoy providing feedback to those who request it. Although, I do format the messages bluntly at times due to condensing all the information. So I hope that I didn't give any bad impressions.
  • @modnation675

    Not at all. All the comments were very helpful. I guess the only question I have is will you and @platypusburger be going through the rest. Lol. I know it's a lot of cards (only 85 total, of which you both went though 17 or so), but I was just wondering. If you do, feel free to ignore the ",", "gains v gets", capitalized abilities, and other things you've told me numerous times now. XD I get it, and have gained the ability to understand it, and will edit the cards accordingly.
  • I like your attitude @RayearthIX ! I'm more than willing to go through your whole set, but it will take a while. If you have a card you want specific commentary on, just let us know, and I'll go to that first.
  • I'll be doing the same as Platypusburger. I was just preoccupied as I was feeling sick for a few days. But I'm fine now! :)

    If you ever have anything you want specific feedback on, just send a message.
  • @Platypusburger @modnation675

    Take your time! You two are doing me a favor here! So any cards you are willing to look at are a blessing. I want all the cards looked at eventually, so nothing specific, because I plan on printing and sleeving them to use with friends. I figure a lighter card-stock at fedex should work since I don't need backs (as they will be sleeved). Do you know if there is a template somewhere for how to size the cards when I send them to FedEx for printing?
  • edited July 2017
    There is, but I'm not adept at doing so. Although there are a few threads that provide resources/explanations.

    Our main issue is that the card image on MTGC is based off of a scan and has imperfections. Mainly as we wanted to have hyper-realistic copies of our creations and keep a mint copy, with custom packaging and all.
  • Were it just me, I'd print it on plain white paper and just glue the picture to a basic land or a token or whatnot. I may just be lazy in that regard.
  • Interesting suggestion Platypusburger... It's not like I don't have 5000...0000...0000 land cards too many. I didn't think of that, but cost wise, that might be what I do.
  • edited July 2017
    I agree, I was just trying to make them be unnoticeable compared to official cards, except a few aspects of course. Namely ones like the shiny rarity bump.

    Specifically for collective purposes.
  • Rarities I used are actually based on the video game Fate/Grand order. I didn't follow it exactly, but for the most part, the 4* cards in that game I made rare, and the 5* cards I made mythic.

    And thank you for going through all the creatures PLatypusburger. Only non-creatures are left! ^_^ Again, thank you both for all the help you've been giving me. I've gone back and edited about 15 - 20 so far, haven't had a chance to do them all yet.
  • edited July 2017
    Cool, I'll be checking out the rest soon as I was offline sick after our recent feedback. So we're glad @Platypusburger has been able to help provide feedback in place of us. :)
  • @modnation675 , I'm a little at a loss with this card. Do you have any input?
  • @modnation675, Platypusburger also mentioned I might seek further help with this one;

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/kaleidostick-ruby-sapphire

    Sorry, I don't know how to make it a link in this forum.
  • The notation goes like this: <*a href=link you want>words you want<*/a*> , minus all the asterisks.
  • edited July 2017
    @Platypusburger
    You can post html code within the following notation so it shows as plain text. (For teaching purposes!)

    <code></ code> (Just remove the space between / and code)

    Also sorry for the delay as I was out shopping and having dinner. I'll respond to both your comments in a bit.
  • @RayEarthIX
    The following guide will help you with posting linked images, if that's what you intended.
    Brief guide to uploading linked pictures/images in comments! (W/ Visual Aid)
  • edited July 2017
    Posted feedback on both of those cards as well.

    Edit: Revised feedback according to Platypusburger's request.
  • So close to finished! lol. Only 3 enchantments, 9 sorcery/instants, and 19 lands to go!
  • Only a few lands left! and a pesky sorcery we've been discussing. Lol. Thank you again for all the help @platypusburger !
  • Not a problem! Let me know when you've finished all of your edits, and I'll go back over the whole set again real quick to see if there's any little things we missed.
  • Will do. I have 17 more I need to edit, and I left you comments on 2 or 3 of them. I should have then edited by the end of the week.
  • @Platypusburger

    Aside from 2 or 3 cards that I just need to do some minor changes to, and one I'm rethinking for no logical reason (but thank you for humoring me today), I've finished everything. I'm going to be making some new cards (10 - 20) that will be sideboard options to customize the deck some after I've printed it, but if you review those or not later on is up to you, You've helped so much already, I'd feel bad asking. I'll be using all the things I've learned from you these past few weeks, so hopefully they will turn out well. I just have 1 card I'd like advice on specifically as you do your final review, if you would.

    Queen Medb - I want to be sure the deck has at least 1 card that makes each type of servant token, but for this card creates two different types. That bothers me, and I have difficulty figuring out when I'd want one type over the other. If, in your review, you notice a card you think I could add either the lancer or berserker token to, please let me know.

    Again, thank you so much for the help.
  • I left you a card-specific comment about Medb, but for help with your broader plan concerning tokens, I need a quick refresher on what the different Servant types are, what their color identities are usually, and what best describes their role in your source material.
  • Sure thing @Platypusburger - BTW, I linked the wrong Queen Medb. Oops. that was the old version i scrapped. Here is the newer version.

    In the source material, there is something called the Holy Grail War. The grail allows mages to summon one of each servant (Saber, Lancer, Archer, Caster, Rider, Assassin, Berserker) to compete in the holy grail war, with the winner being granted any wish they desire. Generally speaking, Sabers are balanced in offense and defense, Archers have range, Lancers are fast attack oriented, Casters use magecraft, Riders have mounts, Assassins seek stealth kills, and Berserkers are rampaging beasts.

    For my tokens; Saber (2/2 vigilance white, created by the commander/plainswalker Gudako), Archer (1/2 reach red, created by a land card), Lancer (2/1 first strike red, created by Medb), Caster (1/2 prowess blue, created by a land card), Rider (2/2 flyer blue, created by a land card. This is the only one that is off color for the non-tokens. Riders are green, but since this has flying, I made it blue), Assassin (1/1 deathtouch black, created by a land card), Berserker (3/1 trample green, created by Medb). Medb has the Berserker I used on the card image as a servant in the source material, so he should stay. The question is if there is somewhere to put the lancer.
  • I've started that second look over the set. For your convenience, I'll list the cards where I've made additional comments here. Also, there are asterisks next to places where I think you could put your Lancer tokens, as well.

    Gudako, Hope of Chaldea
    Sakura Matou
    Rin Tohsaka*
    Illyasviel von Einsern
    Kiritsugu Emiya
    Mashu Kyrielight
    Jeanne D'Arc
    Kiara Session
    Altera*
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