Tournament of Champions 2 (The game has begun)

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  • @TenebrisNemo, @ShaperKyon, @kandra127 @ everyone else that are interested.

    Since I am finished with act 4 finally. I would like to ask you guys for your opinions.
    I won't write act 5 for a long time. At least not within a couple of months, if at all.

    I have earlier been eager to wrtie a book series of this story. This eagerness have decreased rather significantly during the last act, mostly since I have begun to see the countless flaws with the story, world, etc.
    What do you guys think? Is it there any worth in making a book series of it plus the upcoming stories? Or am I just likely to throw hundreds of hours into the sea?

    Are there any chapters or acts you think are good? which do you think are bad? Do you have any other thoughts?
    I would very much appreciate opinions and critics.
  • I just really like this story
  • edited March 15
    @Jonteman93
    I think it is really strong...maybe post your thoughts on what you think is weak or a flaw so we can help u fix those parts before u start
  • @DoctorFro, @TenebrisNemo, @ShaperKyon, @everyone
    One obvious flaw caused by the format is that the saga goes way too fast forward. Too little character development if any at all.
    I feel my characters beside being underdeveloped are not as interesting as they should be. Particularity Antonio and Zenaida. Maybe I am wrong about this since I know what they should be like and misses to see thee flavor how the appear to be like.
    I feel that the dialogue is rather stiff or shallow. The dialogue is what has taken the most time to write as it is the most difficult to get right. At least that is what I believe.
    I do highly believe that the combat is written as believed-to-be-skilled-in-dual-written, I'm not sure though. Basil vs William felt somewhat "floaty" for example.

    Some things throughout the story is outright wrong. For example during the "bringing down the Kilmaeren" when Basil and Antonio "kills" two guards with the flame through their hands. That should not be possible, at least not like that. This is however not an actual flaw since it will be changed. Many of the names, titles, words etc will be changed before I actually make something. I also need to redo the world map.
    Another error I believe is how I presented the akons. I believe they turned out somewhatunderwhemling compared to what they should have. They are supposed to be physical forms of terror and abyssal darkness.

    Also additional note. I did not use Basil's name through the first half as it was meant to be a kind of memory instead of a present story. I got a question about that earlier.


    I have been thinking also. This story with Basil I suspect would be taking two books with the first ending after Lalden Minor. There is also one additional planned book for Zenaida during her childhood and growth until Lalden Minor.
    After these three books there are thee new branches. One following Janet, One following Zenaida and her son and the last following the royal family of Beldon. (mainly the three children.)
    The book about the Beldon family would become a quite different experience because of the antagonist, This book I believe would if any of these have the best chance put my name out there. (Maybe not for the right reasons though.) If it become my first book I planned to give it out for free. Do you guys think that would be a smart idea?
  • @Jonteman93 I'm sure your book, as with anything, has the capacity to get better. So go ahead, develop those characters, deepen that dialogue, get editors, do whatever you need. You should probably put in Basil's name for the first half though. No need to confuse your readers.
    In contrast to separate books for Zenaida and Janet, you might consider changing perspectives. It might be cool to see the two/three of them affected by the same events and slowly their stories merge. Just a thought.
    Also charge money for your books. Have faith in your work! If it's not worth paying for it's not worth reading at all.
    Good luck!
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