Temporal Masters

Hello Everybody

This is my first set. This set is based around the Space-Time continuum.
I need help with a card colors and designs.

Mechanics:

-time - blue

-extra turns -blue

-suspending -blue/black

-reanimating : (pulling from graveyard with vanishing) -black

-sacrificing to creatures for bonuses -red

-Timewhisperers -green

-balance - white

Current cards:

https://mtgcardsmith.com/user/Thundertides/sets/31316

Feel free to post any ideas.

The best idea of each week gets one fav of their choosing.

Examples:

Black Reanimation:
image

Blue Extra turns:
image

Red Sacrificing:
image

Green Timewhisperers:
imageimage

White Balance:
image

Credits:

[email protected] for giving me early criticism that was/is very helpful.
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Comments

  • @Thundertides
    Right, lots of things to say. Might as well say them. Also, apologies in advance for having written so much. My fingers hurt.


    In the set, you have a lot of cards with the subtype Temporal, one card with the subtype Masterpiece and one with Master of Time. What do they all mean? I can see at least one card which interacts with Temporal, but what about the others?

    There are a LOT of formatting, wording and general logic errors on the cards in the set, so many that I'm not going to list them all. I can still understand what all of the cards are supposed to do (which means that they're ok).

    Third, I'm going to talk about the card you've made called Time Lock. First off, UB for destroying any nonland permanent without downsides is extremely good. Second, suspend is already a mechanic in Magic. Third, what you're saying with your version of suspend here is "Exile it except for avoiding four incredibly niche interactions." but in a really convoluted way.

    Fourth, general balance. Some cards (like the aforementioned Time Lock) are incredibly good. Perhaps the greatest example of this is Temporal Crystal, which basically reads "You can tutor almost everything every turn." Others are pretty bad. Freeze Time is the primary example of this. It's a nice concept and I see what you're doing with it, but it's a dead card against control and I see few reasons to play it over a good old Temporal Manipulation.

    Fifth and final, the set currently seems far too focused on extra turns. I get the time magic vibe, but the Time Spiral block managed that well while containing only two cards that even mentioned extra turns. More importantly, the only colour that normally takes turns is blue, so you'd have to invent an equally overpowered theme for each of the other colours.


    I'm aware that that's practically all criticism and I'm sorry about that. I'm more than happy to help with this set idea, but the basis of the set needs to be working before you can build on it.
  • Thanks for your comment @MemoryHead. I understand everything you’re saying. I haven’t had time to fix all of the cards up with technicalities because I’ve managed to lose a lot of the picture files.

    I would appreciate your help and ideas for anything, thanks!
  • edited March 30
    @Thundertides It's just occurred to me to ask this, which I probably should have done earlier. When you describe this as a set, do you mean it as in "Thing that you draft, contains about 250 cards, WotC makes them." or do you mean "A random collection of cards and ideas."? If you mean the latter, a lot of my criticism above is totally irrelevant.
  • edited March 30
    It is the first. Your criticism was relevant @MemoryHead
  • edited March 30
    -drawing -red

    -based off triggers

    -randomness/redos -green

    -balance - white

    I added mechanics but I need ideas of how to implement them.
  • @Thundertides
    Feedback on the colour themes.

    Reanimation in black seems fine as an idea and while you'll have to keep an eye on the balance, it'll work.

    I'd recommend changing blue from "extra turns" to "extra turns and bits of turns and time-based triggers" because taking turns is a rare-to-mythic rarity ability for a card to have and basing a whole colour around draft bombs is a bad idea for limited.

    Red isn't a card-draw colour. There are various cards (a lot) that give you card advantage, but few draw spells. Red should definitely be something else.

    Balance seems like an interesting idea to experiment with for white, but Phyrexian mana is for Phyrexia (not here) and balance as an idea would make you suffer from the problem of you having to constantly force yourself into a losing state to make it work. I'd say it could be a good subtheme, but not the main one.

    Random effects are for un-sets (the silly ones). This (presumably) isn't an un-set based on the planning so far, so keep well away from it. The only colour that ever has anything to do with random effects in serious sets is red and even then it's really rare.

    The various time counter effects (suspend, vanishing and so on) should be in the set without colour restrictions (in all of the colours, in other words).
  • It’s updated, hows it look @MemoryHead ?
  • @Thundertides
    Black and blue haven't changed and they still seem fine.

    The white example card is currently a 404 error so no comment on that.

    Sacrifice for red is a good idea. The idea of sacrifice points isn't. First off, they'd be counters. Second, counters are really hard to interact with when they're on players and the last example of that (energy counters on Kaladesh) went badly.

    The idea of tribal Timewhisperers is a nice idea, but it's also a problematic one because tribal cards tend to show up in sets containing many tribes, not just one. Maybe change it, but it could stay as it is and be worked around.

    To critique an individual card, Time Wisps Enchantment is too powerful as you can get a 1/1, sac the 1/1 to get a 1/1, sac that 1/1 to get a 1/1 and so on into infinity. If you also have something that makes you gain life or deals damage or whatever else when a creature enters the battlefield under your control it could be triggered an infinite number of times.
  • To make it seem like I'm actually doing something other than saying "it won't work" then here's a card for demonstrating what blue should be doing:

    image
  • edited April 1
    image

    How’s
    image
  • @Thundertides First off, the mana cost should be the other way around (2UU instead of UU2) but that's relatively minor. Second, it needs to be an aura because it enchants something. It'd be worded as follows:

    Enchant player [player is lowercase]
    At the beginning of enchanted player's first end step each turn, that player gets and additional upkeep step after this step.

    Under the assumption that you got the idea from Paradox Haze, it's a pretty good idea. It could probably cost less mana though as Paradox Haze is arguably more useful beyond the fact that doesn't trigger in the turn you played it.

    On the subject of Paradox Haze, it would definitely be a reprint in this set.
  • Ok I’ll make those adjustments later
  • @Thundertides
    I commented on Time's Rebirth and Jace, Time Bender
  • What do people think about a separate land for each colour with special abilities per each?
  • At what rarity?
  • I would say it depends on how powerful it is.
  • @Thundertides A cycle of mono-coloured lands is normally uncommon in sets, with the rare land slots taken up by some sort of multi-coloured land cycle (plus one or two random wild-card-y lands). I'd say uncommon just to stick to tradition (and also because overpowered lands are something you want to keep an eye on).
  • edited April 6
    Ok
  • image Here’s one
  • @Thundertides
    A brief not-really-a-rant about Dimensional Collision (you've misspelled Collision in the name, by the way).

    First off, lands don't have mana costs. That's the whole point of being a land. If you could make a card with an extremely well made concept and flavour blend that perfectly supports giving it a mana cost, maybe, but this doesn't. It would make far more sense as an enchantment without the mana ability.

    Second is a few minor little things. The mana ability would be worded "{Tap}: Add B." because the mana pool stopped being a thing in mana-source abilities a little while ago and the one is unnecessary. The ability that returns a card from your graveyard to your hand would read "Return a card from your graveyard to your hand." because you only draw cards from libraries. I have literally no idea why this has the Phyrexian watermark and unless you're planning to infest the set with the horrors of Phyrexia (in which case we should be working on a Return to New Phyrexia set, not this) then it probably shouldn't be there.

    Third and final, the card's main effect is ridiculous. The whole purpose of exile is that the cards are nigh-on impossible to interact with (Rift Sweeper being the only exception to this rule that I can think of that doesn't have super-specific clause, and that was made in a set based on experimenting with weird ideas). This card basically removes everything that exile has been meant for ever since it was created (an area entirely outside the game where things are no longer relevant in any way). I could go into a whole big thing on this, but I won't because nobody wants to read that and I don't want to write it.

    Sorry if that was slightly angry-sounding.
  • @MemoryHead
    I understand. I wanted to make a card that made the game played in a different way when used and hoped to have the same for all of the ‘lands’ for each colour. I did the watermark because I accidentally set one and that was the best looking one for the card.
  • edited April 13
    Opinons?
    image
  • Mana symbols in the cost are in the wrong order (it should always be colourless symbols, then coloured ones) but that's just a formatting error. The card gives a permanent buff to a creature without being an enchantment, which has only ever appeared on one card and it was from an un-set. It should be worded:

    Fresh Blood 2R
    Instant
    As an additional cost to cast Fresh Blood, sacrifice a creature.
    Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.
    "Something something I'm Tibalt and I'm in this set now for some reason. Don't argue."
    -Tibalt


    I'm also going to point out that that kind of card ability isn't really red (as in, the +1/+1 counters / buffing part), though that is something that could be a theme in the set and so I can't really argue.
  • Yeah I see what you mean. I’ll fix the inconsistencies. The reason I added him as the quote is because I plan on adding a custom planes-walker of him.
  • @MemoryHead actually, invert (From invert/invent) doesn't actually say 'until end of turn' on it.
  • @KorandAngels Nope, that one was a printing / logic error on WotC's end. Check the card on Gatherer or Scryfall and you'll see that it was errata'd to read "until end of turn."
  • First off, the X's in the rule text should just be shown as X, not as mana symbols. Second, burn (as in, dealing direct damage to almost any target) isn't white's thing. For the sake of doing this, the card would be worded as follows:

    Simple Transfer XWW
    Sorcery - Balance
    Simple Transfer deals X damage to any target and you gain X life, where X is the amount of mana spent to cast it.
    "Deja vu, am I right?!"
    —Mayvar, minion of Geth


    As I said, though, burn isn't in white at all and the fact that it deals X damage + 2 is really weird, so I'd recommend turning this into something else altogether or giving it another colour (red or black, I guess) so it makes more sense. Regardless, you should get rid of the + 2 part because it's just weird.
  • Added a few cards, still to fix “simple transfer”
  • edited April 16
    @Thundertides To give criticism on the new cards because I can:

    I'm aware Pull from Tomorrow is a real card and I fully agree with it being in the set, but I'm going to point out that the X on it should just be an X, not the mana symbol X.

    Destructive Shot seems pretty dang powerful but it's probably ok. I'd definitely increase the rarity to uncommon and / or change it sorcery speed, though.



    Time Anticipation is far too powerful. I see what you're trying to do with it, but the key thing to know about it is that you can cast it for UU with an X of zero when a player casts a spell in order to draw two at instant speed (which is really good) and that as well as that, you can use it as a counterspell.

    It's basically Syncopate for one more mana but it draws two cards for that one more mana, which is really good. Also, the wording is off (check Syncopate for the correct wording) and the X should just be an X, not a mana symbol.

    My recommendation for balance would be to increase the rarity to uncommon or rare and to change it so that you only draw one card. Also, consider changing the name because unless you use it as a reactive draw spell (which I assume wasn't the original purpose) then it makes no sense.



    EDIT
    Just saw Rathring and oh boy. First off, it should be a legendary creature and the mana symbols in the cost are in the wrong order. Mainly, though, is the ability. It doesn't have a trigger time (I assume it's supposed to be an enter-the-battlefield but it doesn't say that). Second is that abilities can't remember things like how many cards were in the opponent's graveyard and so it either needs to be +1/+1 counters or something else. To give it a wording / vague design:

    Rathring, Dimensionless Path 5BBB
    Legendary Creature - Dragon
    Flying
    When ~ enters the battlefield, put a number of +1/+1 counter on ~ equal to the number of cards in target opponent's graveyard. That opponent exchanges their graveyard and library, then shuffles their library.
    2/1
    "No. No! NO! Just kidding, counterspell."
    -Avkar the Ancient


    I gave it flying because there are only three dragons in MTG without flying and the most recent of them was printed almost 20 years ago. I'm actually not totally sure how to make that +1/+1 counter bit in with the exchange, so I'm tempted to recommend that you simply make it a 7/7 or something and get rid of the buffing based on graveyard numbers altogether.
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