First Card Feedback Please!

This is my first time both making a card and posting in a forum like this, so if this is in the wrong place, please let me know!

My commander friends decided to try out custom commanders, and I knew for a fact I wanted something eldrazi related. I wanted it to be a deck that incentives me to play both smaller drones as well as the big titans. So, this fella was born as a kind of value engine that gets going off of small ingesters swinging in bit by bit, with the activated ability only working if I have a bigger guy.

Again, I haven't made a card before in my life, so I have no idea if it's OP or way too weak. I'm not even good at the game generally. If there's a more elegant way to stuff all this text/word it, mainly to fit devoid, that'd be great too!

Here's the card: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/vulreg-mockery-of-life-2

Comments

  • It's not bad for a first card!
    Two problems-
    * It has to make those spells resolve before it returns them to their owners' hands.
    * What if those spells were permanent spells?

    If I would fix that wording..

    "Other nontoken Eldrazi creatures you control get +1/+0 and have menace and ingest.

    {5}: V'ulreg fights another target creature you control. When V'ulreg is put into the command zone this turn, you may cast up to two cards from exile without paying their mana cost. Put all instant and sorcery spells you don't own cast this way into their owners' hands as they resolve."
  • @Tomigon Thanks for the feedback!! I did a few other edits and played around with new ideas, and thought I might split it up into a partner commander to fit text and ideas better.

    CMC and P/T is really my main concern, but I can't quite tell if the activated ability is a bit too good either. I like the drawback of it giving the person card draw, though. Maybe casting cost can determine whether it needs to be changed.

    Here's what I got: https://i.gyazo.com/f08b82f40d42e0aaa43620280d8ddec8.png
  • edited January 2020
    I for one quite like Vulreg. Welcome, Crouton. You have potential.

    I have followed you in case you make other good cards.
This discussion has been closed.