Just need some quick help with magic wording

So I had an idea for a new custom mechanic, Sabotage. When a card with Sabotage is played (creature, sorcery, etc.) , you choose an opponent, and choose one of the following: That opponent takes 2 damage, or discards a card.

Here is an example: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/young-assassin
(yes I forgot to add p/t 'cuz im a doof)

If you have an idea how this mechanic would be worded, please let me know! I tried looking around for similar MTG abilities but couldn't find any. Cheers

Comments

  • If it's always going to be "when it enters the battlefield", it's better to leave it is a standalone keyword (like the evergreen keywords) with reminder text if there's room

    If you want it to trigger via several different ways (enter, leave, damage, etc), then you should make it an un-italicized sentence keyword, like explore.

    As for the ability wording in the reminder text, I don't know any precedent for wording since it's reminder text. The current MTG format is to have the modal choices (like Abrade), which I guess you can emulate in line. Something like this:

    Sabotage (When this enters the battlefield, choose one - Deal 2 damage to target opponent; or target opponent discards a card.)
  • Sabotage (When "card name" enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to target opponent unless that player discards a card.)

    Based on
    http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=447271

  • @Corwinnn I dont think that's the appropriate way because demanding dragon puts the choice on the opponent but sabotage is your choice.
  • edited July 2018
    Adjusted from @Corwinnn's suggestion:
    Sabotage (When this [permanent type] enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to target opponent unless they discard a card.)

    Two major differences:
    1. Card names aren't supposed to be used in reminder text. I expect "permanent type" to be replaced with "creature" most often.
    2. The new WotC convention makes "they" ok, and it's shorter.

    I'd suggest changing "opponent" to "player" because it is shorter and almost always identical in function.
  • Thanks for the advice! How would the wording be changed if an instant/sorcery sabotaged an opponent?

    Perhaps: (When [card name] resolves, choose one - It deals 2 damage to target opponent; or target opponent discards a card.)
  • Or "When this spell..."
  • @CrispyBacon42
    I think it doesn't need to be changed to "choose one -" effect..
    Sabotage (When this spell resolves, it deals 2 damage to target opponent unless they discard a card.)

    But usually EtB keyword abilities aren't put on instant/sorcery. We never see Fabricate on instant or sorcery. Just for your information.
  • Thanks for all the advice! That's all
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