Card Feedback - Pay It Forward

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Comments

  • @AbzanCompany
    No problem, that's understandable as we're familiar with the experience.
  • Here it is! Thanks again to @modnation675 for the suggestions.

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  • @AbzanCompany

    This seems like it would be a great pick in a Selesnya tokens deck, and would be a great pull with Collected Company. It's only powerful if you build around it, but in any other case it would be quite weak. Overall, I think the help from Modnation fixed this card quite a bit.

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    I made this for a contest of sorts, and I'm not sure if the risk/reward is good enough. Any suggestions? (I'm going to build other cards around this guy.)
  • edited July 2017
    @NokiSkaur
    I think you're better off following the idea of shuffling tricks rather than using pure RNG. That way you get the additional mind game aspect with the obfuscation of the outcome.

    In pure statistics though, it's not worth it.
  • @modnation675

    The gimmick of this character is that he's supposed to be an RNG bomb. It's not just supposed to be mind games--the magic itself is uncontrollable
  • edited July 2017
    @NokiSkaur
    Yeah, I'm just saying such because you didn't explicitly say it was for the unfun challenge. (Or something similar!)
  • @modnation675

    I'm not going to say something that isn't true.
  • @NokiSkaur
    Refresh page! ;) *nudges*
  • @modnation675

    Not quite. It's more of a game than a contest. My thinking's all screwy right now...
  • @modnation675
    What if for those mono white cats had the ability that when they attack you gain life for each plains in your graveyard if you need more perks?


    Here is my tribal monk commanders. I'd like some direct feedback on each on balance and playworthiness.

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/xu-wong

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/lang-blind-visionary

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/velana-mana-bender
  • edited July 2017
    @Mellenius
    I'll do this methodically, in order.

    Xu Wong: This is blatantly terrifying. It'd be a nutso commander that is instantly broken by the mere existence of a creature with changling. Giving more coloured spells storm is also pretty scary. The hexproof makes it unanswerable except in roundabout ways, which, for a card as powerful as this, feels unfun. As for flavor, the lack of a title makes it hard for me to understand why he's so powerful.

    Lang, Blind Visionary: Afflict doesn't feel very on flavor in this case, for a couple reasons. First off, this rewards you for casting any kind of spell, including creature spells, where monks usually care about noncreature spells. Secondly, afflict doesn't sound like an attempt towards enlightenment. Maybe that's just me.

    Velana. Mana Bender: Oh geez. It's like a monk form of Animar, except scarier. This is the card that gets you hated off the table and eating removal faster than you can say Razaketh, with its intense mana reduction and increase. Add a Monastery Mentor and you'll be winning and losing all your friends in no time. While it feels unfun, I can't really say it isn't balanced. Also, no red?

    Overall: You seem to deviate from what monks often do, which is caring about noncreature spells. While this is usually fine, on Lang and Velana, it has consequences that have a high chance of affecting the outcome of the game for at least one player.

    Here's my card.

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  • Emberfiend is solid and very red-friendly. My only issue is that, as it has no casting cost, you'll have to specifically put in the rules text that it is a red card. Think Ghostfire in reverse.
  • @Lujikul
    Good thing there's enough extra space for exactly that.
  • @Lujikul, I think Ambushing Emberfiend is a very creative card, as most cards without any cost (aside from lands, obviously) tend to be. It seems balanced, at a perfect rarity, and has vivid artwork. 10/10 (Yes, I had nothing critical to say, except maybe that I agree with @Glasletter. MTGCS really needs a way to put the color symbol in the side of card like with the Ancestral Vision from Duel Decks: Anthology so that we don't have to keep writing "X is red/white/whatever.")

    Ok, here is my attempt at a balanced Yawgmoth's Will.
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  • @AbzanCompany
    I think that the mana cost is about right seeing as to how you can sacrifice it and use the devotion counter to cast it again with other cards. The eternalize part works well with giving it a boost for a turn and being able to activate it's second ability another time.

    Thoughts?
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/hallaasna-one-with-the-wild
  • edited July 2017
    @SpiritDragon
    I'll post part of the feedback in list form, then the rest in a brief description as most are formatting issues.

    Formatting List:
    1) Leave a space between separate abilities.
    2) Granting temporary stat buffs are done using the word "gets" rather than "gain".
    3) Granting abilities temporarily require the word "have".
    4) Creature types or sub-types such as Equipment are always capitalized.
    5) The abilities don't feel very legendary, rather they feel like enchantment abilities.

    Design List:
    1) Why'd I sacrifice a token and pay the mana equivalent to likely get a smaller token.
    2) Choose abilities tend to take a lot of card space and therefore should only be used if the card has a simpler design. Which doesn't match the amount of utility listed on the card.
    3) The second activated ability feels more green due to the choice of keyword.

    Overall, the card needs more distinction in terms of static or triggered abilities to provide unique interactions. Keep in mind cards like Ezuri, Renegade Leader implemented abilities never before seen in activated abilities.
    --------------------
    Next Card: Well, more of a conundrum?

    I recently revamped an old card of ours to fix some technical issues. Which has brought up an interesting question...

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    What ways could black have artifact and/or enchantment removal that would be fair while suiting the color? (Currently there's only two options that don't require a card outside of black or require nonblack colored mana. Of which, only Ulamog works in Commander and costs more than almost every artifact or enchantment played!)

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    (If nobody has ideas, you may just provide feedback on our re-made card to continue the thread!)
  • edited August 2017
    @modnation675, Ulamog counts as artifact or enchantment removal? I guess to get rid of Omniscience...
    Anyway, on a serious note, the problem seems to be that black can only get good artifact/enchantment removal by either some twist on its "steal cards" mechanic or by being tacked on to cards that are actually white or green (of course, it's always possible that WOTC will start printing artifacts that can get rid of artifacts and/or enchantments). Without breaking from this convention, here are my ideas for black removal of artifacts and enchantments. (Oh yeah, I had the idea to go with "sacrifice nonland permanent" as a way to give black artifact and enchantment removal. I guess that breaks from convention.)

    imageimageimageimageimage
  • edited August 2017
    @AbzanCompany
    Edit: I should've mentioned guaranteed selection of the artifact and/or enchantment permanent type at least.

    Such as the following. (Just an example, not what's expected!)
    -----
    Target player sacrifices an artifact or enchantment.
    -----
  • @modnation675
    Is black going to have an effect that specifically causes an artifact or enchantment to be sacrificed by an opponent? That still seems green or white.
  • edited August 2017
    @AbzanCompany
    I was just trying to explain that the permanent type in specific is what was meant. That's all the example was for.
  • @modnation675,
    Oh, sorry I misunderstood. I don't think that black will get an effect like that though, at best black could get something like (B/G)(B/G), Insant: Destroy target artifact or enchantment and that permanent's controller loses 2 life, where it piggy-backs off of a green card (Naturalize).
  • What do you all think of this card? Is the +2 usable? Is the +1 about on rate? Should the card be 1UU? And of course any other feedback is welcome. (Sidenote: @modnation675, would you mind giving me feedback on Scion of Yawgmoth?)

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  • edited August 2017
    @AbzanCompany
    I think it's okay in terms of balance. But people don't enjoy when something does nothing due to RNG. RNG mechanics have also been removed from MTG aside from shuffling cards.

    I also don't like cards that can theoretically go infinite by themseleves, which is a major issue.

    As for the Scion of Yawgmoth, I have only one issue. An exile clause is needed to prevent recursion loops. (You can test alternate ways of wording it, if you want!)
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    Remove a devotion counter from Scion of Yawgmoth: You may play cards from your graveyard this turn. If a card would be put into your graveyard from anywhere this turn, exile that card instead.
    -----

    Next Card: (This will be our last one for a awhile!)

    Does anyone see a shorter way of wording the last two abilities on this favorite card of ours? We like the card, but don't require the fateful hour label, provided there's a better wording. (Inspired to make a more playable interpretation of Elderscale Wurm's effect!)

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    (Sorry for posting so many responses lately. We just had a few cards of ours that needed fixes.)
This discussion has been closed.