Oxymoronic Cards

This is my first challenge, so hopefully I won't make a mistake:

I love Izzet and their contradictory spells, so I want to see some more: Come up with a interesting, balanced and good card that doesn't quite make sense. Think Ogre Diplomats. Or maybe a Zombie Priest. Perhaps a Flamekin Frostmancer Be creative, but it must make sense in the context of the card. Time limit is June 20. I cannot offer a prize, but I guarantee that it will be fun for everyone.

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