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Google translate cards (ongoing)
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Original card:
Doomsday
Here's the original: http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=426028
Original: Grapeshot
After:
Please come to me as a car
The Legendary Creature - The Dwarf Dwarf
When you submit the first spelling each time, reveal the system board in your library. If a non-country card has a lower conversion rate than this spelling, you can reject it without paying the cost of the legacy. If you have not delivered the advertised card, put it in your hand.
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If you didn't guess, this is a google translated version of Rashmi, Eternities Crafter:
Rashmi, Eternities Crafter
Legendary Creature — Elf Druid
Whenever you cast your first spell each turn, reveal the top card of your library. If it's a nonland card with converted mana cost less than that spell's, you may cast it without paying its mana cost. If you don't cast the revealed card, put it into your hand.
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Sunday
Adventures of Adam Divine (Yes, I kid you not, this is the subtype XD)
2R, T: It is the first birth. Make sure that the cardboard cards are. It can be obtained immediately. The bottom line is down.
"It will come from me."
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This of course, is Feldon of the Third Path:
Feldon of the Thrid Path
Legendary Creature - Human Artificer
2R, T: Create a token that's a copy of target creature card in your graveyard, except it's an artifact in addition to its other types. It gains haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.
"She will come back to me."
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I'm actually disappointed that the flavor text was very close to the original flavor text
Planeswalker - Chandra
+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may cast that card. If you don't, Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals 2 damage to each opponent.
+1: Add {R}{R} to your mana pool.
−3: Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals 4 damage to target creature.
−7: You get an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell, this emblem deals 5 damage to target creature or player."
becomes
Chandra, a fighter
Planesauer - Chandra
+1: Remove the top card of your library. You can move this map. If you do not, Chandra, Torch of Defiance suffers 2 damage to each opponent.
+1: Add {R} {R} to the mana pool.
-3: Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals with 4 defeats of the target.
-7: You get an Emblem with "Every time you issue magic, this emblem transmits 5 damage to the target or to the player."
Lovely.
After:
Some words that come to mind are "bungled," "botched," and "what just happened."