The Ridiculous UNGLUED Challenge!

In case you don't know, there at one time was an mtg series known as "Unglued." This featured many cards that were silly, and had crazy abilities. Here are some examples:
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=5726
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=9769
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=5712

Basically, create a card that fits the "Unglued" theme, but could still potentially be used in mtg today.
You will be judged on creativity, originality, functionality, and most importantly, stupidity.

1st place gets a like on 3 cards of their choice and I will follow them.
2nd place gets a like on 2 cards of their choice and I will follow them.
3rd place gets a like 1 card of their choice.

Good Luck!

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