Stressful cards!

In honor of Finals week for students everywhere, I propose this challenge. Make two cards or a dual sided card or both!
Implore the following mechanics or something like it:

Stress:
-If you have no cards in your hand and target player has more than four, do X then lose life.
-If target player controls at least three more land then you do X then lose life.
-If target player controls a creature whose power is equal to your life total do X, then lose X life.

Relief:
-If you have at least X more cards in your hand then target player do X.
-If you control at least X more land cards than target player, do X.
-If a creature with power equal to your life total died this turn, do X.

Have fun! Unlimited submissions. I will favorite all of the submissions.