Make a Weird card: Unknown Values (#7) (CLOSED)

Hello and welcome to the seventh contest in my make a weird card series! Today, we will be making a weird card that has to do with unknown values, like X, Y, *, things like that. Just make a card with a really weird ability or variation of an ability, or just something weird about it that has never been used on other cards (that adheres to the theme). I don't mean it has to be a wall of text, or something that makes you re-read it over and over again, I just mean something that hasn't really been done before. The weirder the better.

Remember: For this contest, you need the card's weird side to do anything with unknown or changing values. You can do multiple values, or just some really weird way to use them.

Other Rules:
1. You are allowed to change your card any amount before the contest ends
2. You can only use an original card that you made.
3. Max number of entries is three.
4. No joke cards or uncards.
5. Please have correct MTG language, since I get really bothered by incorrect MTG language.
6. The card must look like it was actually make in MTG. No cards from movies or other games.

I will be judging you based on:
- Balance
- Creativity
- Templating (including spelling, grammar, punctuation and spacing)
- Art selection (using existing MTG art is strongly discouraged)
- Flavor (Not flavor text, just how well the abilities fit with the art and name)

Rewards:
1st: I will follow you, favorite 5 cards of your choice, and you get to choose an honorable mention.
2nd: I will follow you and favorite 3 cards of your choice.
3rd: I will follow you and favorite 2 card of your choice
Honorable Mention(s): I will favorite 2 cards of your choice

I will be judging on December 17th, 2017. (14 days from when this contest was created)

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