@TenebrisNemo - The card feels made for commander, rather than any other format, since it's very hard to justify the kind of life loss described multiple turns in a row, especially in those colors.
First, the Name: The way this card is made, it makes Aliene seem like she is learning from her mistakes and getting stronger, like a student. I’d suggest a name that suggests being a student of a renowned warrior instead of a fool.
I feel like the activated ability could cost more. Maybe 2W?
Capitalize the ‘c’ in ‘choose’ and the ability should be worded like this:
Choose any number of target permanents...
Other than that, I like the design of this card a lot! Keep up the great work!
Probably a good addition in an Azorius... tribals? Nowadays they only consist of birds tbh. Doesn't matter. Kinda a little bit useless because of Teferi's Protection is much better. Unless if you play draft ofc.
I think it’s a shade bit too powerful. Moving the rarity up to mythic would make it an underpowered mythic, so I’d probably make it cost 1 more. I REALLY like it though!
@TenebrisNemo I don't have anything major to say about the design, it seems that you've threaded the "balance needle" pretty well for a 4-mana mythic. Restricting it to combat damage makes the triggered ability less oppressive and the lifelink makes him a good blocker option (especially against a lot of 1 power tokens). Flavor is quite neat and the card/art/design are all pretty cohesive. However, I don't really like non-Planeswalker methods of making emblems and, for that reason, I am not a fan of this design overall. I realize it was for the contest, but I think we should look for non-emblem abilities.
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@Faiths_Guide I can literally feel how much i'd hate seeing this in an EDH deck. Like it's just so good in my opinion. This in like a Lazav deck would be so good. Futher reducing the chances of people using their own creatures, and then you get to nab them anyways. I love it. I also left this comment on the card btw, and favored it.
Yes, the rules about posting two card is that the next person has to comment on or favorite at least one before posting their own. I'll comment quickly on both though
Mana Tide: Cool name! I'd definitely add the legendary sorcery reminder text here; there are very few of these cards so far and the reminder text is super helpful. This card is crazily powerful in the right decks. The first safety nob I'd add is to have it exile itself so it can't be recast from the graveyard. You no longer need to reference the "mana pool" in rules text, so here's how I'd word this: [(You may cast a legendary sorcery only if you control a legendary creature or planeswalker.) As an additional cost to Mana Tide, discard a card. Add {u}{u} for each card in your hand. Exile Mana Tide.] I don't know how I feel about this card overall as it's difficult to know how powerful it is.
Pendant of Safekeeping: Another cool name! It doesn't seem all that good, especially for a legendary rare. I'd probably also break up the wording of the ability to have "...remove a charge counter from... If you do, return..."
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Spin the Wheel is a really awesome card! I like the design a lot. One thing, change the word ‘deck’ to the word ‘library’.
I feel like there is too much going on in unexpected angle. The prevent all damage on that card, must be worded as ‘prevent all damage dealt to it this turn’ or else it would prevent damage forever. Also, preventing damage makes first strike completely pointless because it can’t die anyways from combat damage anyways.
My suggestion for unexpected angle:
1W
Instant
Untap target creature you control. It gains +2/+0 and first strike until the end of turn.
Mine: I'm currently working on making colored artifacts for color sets. Like the swords and rings. I really like the idea behind them because they help emphasize a hero's journey and their 'sweet loot'. Haha
@Temurzoa, genius! I love the card's concept, I don't see any major design/formatting flaws, and the flavor is incredible too.
If I had to find a gripe, it's a gold 2-mana 1/1 with an ability that doesn't really do much without buildaround, which I think sugests more of an uncommon without a bit of an extra power boost (scry, maybe?). That said, nothing really needs to be changed with this card. Great job!
@KorandAngels That card is weak. It's 6 mana conditional 1-for-1 card plus Fog. And I would change the 3rd mode. It's a defensive card, so I don't think the 3rd mode will be chosen to tap blockers. It will be only used to make them unable to attack. But the first mode basically does the same job. What about gaining life or creating tokens?
It should say "Choose two —", not "Choose 2:"
Also I would add the reminder text for legendary instant (You may cast a legendary instant only if you control a legendary creature or planeswalker.)
@lilPi Some issues here: 1. First time you mention his name, it should be spelled out (not shortened to Ro).
2. You need to specify that the counters are on Ro (they shouldn't just enter with him) and are equal to the "amount" of mana spent to cast.
3. You need to specify that you're removing the counters from Ro and not just any creature (here's where you can shorten his name now that it's been spelled out once), unless you want him to be able to remove them from anywhere, which would also need to be specified.
4. A long dash goes after "Choose one" instead of a period.
5. First option should say "...until end of turn."
6. Damage prevention in the second option needs to state "that would be dealt" not just dealt.
7. Third option should say "...until end of turn."
8. Fourth option should say "...gains indestructible until end of turn."
Summary: Ro, Peacekeeper of the Guild enters the battlefield with a number of peace counters on it equal to the amount of mana spent to cast it.
Remove a peace counter from Ro: Choose one {line} {bull} Target creature's power becomes equal to it's toughness until end of turn. {bull} Prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn. {bull} Target creature gets +0/+3 until end of turn. {bull} Target creature gains indestructible until end of turn.
HEy! I need help with this mechanic, I'm making a set about trade and commerce (The plane is a complete capitalist anarchy based on latin america, specifically Caribbean areas) and I don't know wich of these versions of this mechanic is better, it is basically a downside to justify high power level on the Mercenary tribe, so I need help deciding on the best.
MTG Cardsmith Community Forums
Comments
Here's mine:
First, the Name: The way this card is made, it makes Aliene seem like she is learning from her mistakes and getting stronger, like a student. I’d suggest a name that suggests being a student of a renowned warrior instead of a fool.
I feel like the activated ability could cost more. Maybe 2W?
Capitalize the ‘c’ in ‘choose’ and the ability should be worded like this:
Choose any number of target permanents...
Other than that, I like the design of this card a lot! Keep up the great work!
Next up:
Probably a good addition in an Azorius... tribals? Nowadays they only consist of birds tbh. Doesn't matter. Kinda a little bit useless because of Teferi's Protection is much better. Unless if you play draft ofc.
So ok then.
I think it’s a shade bit too powerful. Moving the rarity up to mythic would make it an underpowered mythic, so I’d probably make it cost 1 more. I REALLY like it though!
I edited the card I made above, Is it any better?
Pretty solid card you got there. Looks great. I like the artwork as well.
Here's a little somethin somethin I came up with.
Lifelink
When Qui-Gon, Knight of Life dies, you gain 1 life for each Jedi you control.
Force spirit (When this creature dies, it becomes an Aura enchantment attached to target creature. When the enchanted creature dies, exile this card.)
Whenever enchanted creature is dealt damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it. (It must survive the damage to get the counter.)
I would like to know what you think about this:
I don't have anything major to say about the design, it seems that you've threaded the "balance needle" pretty well for a 4-mana mythic. Restricting it to combat damage makes the triggered ability less oppressive and the lifelink makes him a good blocker option (especially against a lot of 1 power tokens). Flavor is quite neat and the card/art/design are all pretty cohesive. However, I don't really like non-Planeswalker methods of making emblems and, for that reason, I am not a fan of this design overall. I realize it was for the contest, but I think we should look for non-emblem abilities.
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I can literally feel how much i'd hate seeing this in an EDH deck. Like it's just so good in my opinion. This in like a Lazav deck would be so good. Futher reducing the chances of people using their own creatures, and then you get to nab them anyways. I love it. I also left this comment on the card btw, and favored it.
Since you said two:
Thanks!
Yes, the rules about posting two card is that the next person has to comment on or favorite at least one before posting their own. I'll comment quickly on both though
Mana Tide:
Cool name! I'd definitely add the legendary sorcery reminder text here; there are very few of these cards so far and the reminder text is super helpful. This card is crazily powerful in the right decks. The first safety nob I'd add is to have it exile itself so it can't be recast from the graveyard. You no longer need to reference the "mana pool" in rules text, so here's how I'd word this:
[(You may cast a legendary sorcery only if you control a legendary creature or planeswalker.)
As an additional cost to Mana Tide, discard a card.
Add {u}{u} for each card in your hand. Exile Mana Tide.]
I don't know how I feel about this card overall as it's difficult to know how powerful it is.
Pendant of Safekeeping:
Another cool name! It doesn't seem all that good, especially for a legendary rare. I'd probably also break up the wording of the ability to have "...remove a charge counter from... If you do, return..."
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I enjoy the ability, though the mana cost seems a bit high, even with Convoke. Maybe add a bit of Power/Toughness? Otherwise it's a solid card.
Here's Mine: Two instants.
If you're able, please duplicate your comments to the card pages via Disqus so we can continue the conversation without clogging up this thread. Thanks
Spin the Wheel is a really awesome card! I like the design a lot. One thing, change the word ‘deck’ to the word ‘library’.
I feel like there is too much going on in unexpected angle. The prevent all damage on that card, must be worded as ‘prevent all damage dealt to it this turn’ or else it would prevent damage forever. Also, preventing damage makes first strike completely pointless because it can’t die anyways from combat damage anyways.
My suggestion for unexpected angle:
1W
Instant
Untap target creature you control. It gains +2/+0 and first strike until the end of turn.
———————————————-——————————
My card:
Commented on card and favored.
Mine:
I'm currently working on making colored artifacts for color sets. Like the swords and rings. I really like the idea behind them because they help emphasize a hero's journey and their 'sweet loot'. Haha
Thoughts?
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/steadfast-believer
If I had to find a gripe, it's a gold 2-mana 1/1 with an ability that doesn't really do much without buildaround, which I think sugests more of an uncommon without a bit of an extra power boost (scry, maybe?). That said, nothing really needs to be changed with this card. Great job!
Favourited: I like the flavour text.
That card is weak. It's 6 mana conditional 1-for-1 card plus Fog.
And I would change the 3rd mode. It's a defensive card, so I don't think the 3rd mode will be chosen to tap blockers. It will be only used to make them unable to attack. But the first mode basically does the same job. What about gaining life or creating tokens?
It should say "Choose two —", not "Choose 2:"
Also I would add the reminder text for legendary instant
(You may cast a legendary instant only if you control a legendary creature or planeswalker.)
@Tomigon said pretty much everything I would have said. One thing- is it possible for you to have credited the artist?
Anyways, my card:
Seems to be just another bulk rare. It just feels too underwhelming.
So, here's another Teacup:
I really enjoy the card idea, but despite the mythic rarity, it seems too powerful.
Also, thanks for all the feedback you’ve been giving me on my cards! It’s very helpful:)
My card:
seems to be missing it's sub type, cleric something maybe? but love the card over all, the CMC is right for what this dose on a body.
just made this looking to get some feedback
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/ro-peacekeeper-of-the-guild
Some issues here:
1. First time you mention his name, it should be spelled out (not shortened to Ro).
2. You need to specify that the counters are on Ro (they shouldn't just enter with him) and are equal to the "amount" of mana spent to cast.
3. You need to specify that you're removing the counters from Ro and not just any creature (here's where you can shorten his name now that it's been spelled out once), unless you want him to be able to remove them from anywhere, which would also need to be specified.
4. A long dash goes after "Choose one" instead of a period.
5. First option should say "...until end of turn."
6. Damage prevention in the second option needs to state "that would be dealt" not just dealt.
7. Third option should say "...until end of turn."
8. Fourth option should say "...gains indestructible until end of turn."
Summary:
Ro, Peacekeeper of the Guild enters the battlefield with a number of peace
counters on it equal to the amount of mana spent to cast it.
Remove a peace counter from Ro: Choose one {line}
{bull} Target creature's power becomes equal to it's toughness until end of turn.
{bull} Prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn.
{bull} Target creature gets +0/+3 until end of turn.
{bull} Target creature gains indestructible until end of turn.
Marath is a great reference here.
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@Faiths_Guide
I commented Furious Bellower
@steampunkdragon
I commented the triplets
HEy! I need help with this mechanic, I'm making a set about trade and commerce (The plane is a complete capitalist anarchy based on latin america, specifically Caribbean areas) and I don't know wich of these versions of this mechanic is better, it is basically a downside to justify high power level on the Mercenary tribe, so I need help deciding on the best.
Price.
Hire