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Anyone wants feedback on their GDS3 challenges?
Hello everyone,
You probably all know about the Great Designer Search 3 happening as we speak, if not you should really check it out here:
1) JUDGING THE DESIGN TESTS
2) DESIGN CHALLENGE 1: YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRIBAL
3) DESIGN CHALLENGE 2 : A CIRCUS ACT
3) DESIGN CHALLENGE 3 : FINDING A GOOD MECHANIC
This is not really a contest because I don't think there are enough people on MTGCardmsith that would take it (the GDS3 challenges are really time-intensive with something like 10-ish cards to design per challenge.) Nonetheless, if any of you have done them at home (or wants to do them now) and are interested in some constructive feedback, I'd be happy to look at your submissions =D
P.S: Some additional thoughts:
1) All the rules are at the beginning of each article above.
2) Try to submit your designs the same way it's templated in the GDS3:
Name (rarity)
Mana Cost
Card Type – Subtype
Power/Toughness [IF CREATURE; SKIP OTHERWISE]
Rules Text
3) For the first design challenge (You might as well tribal), try to avoid creature types that were already done by the contestants: Horror, Insect, Ooze, Shaman, Rogue, Aetherborn, Imp, Samurai.
You probably all know about the Great Designer Search 3 happening as we speak, if not you should really check it out here:
1) JUDGING THE DESIGN TESTS
2) DESIGN CHALLENGE 1: YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRIBAL
3) DESIGN CHALLENGE 2 : A CIRCUS ACT
3) DESIGN CHALLENGE 3 : FINDING A GOOD MECHANIC
This is not really a contest because I don't think there are enough people on MTGCardmsith that would take it (the GDS3 challenges are really time-intensive with something like 10-ish cards to design per challenge.) Nonetheless, if any of you have done them at home (or wants to do them now) and are interested in some constructive feedback, I'd be happy to look at your submissions =D
P.S: Some additional thoughts:
1) All the rules are at the beginning of each article above.
2) Try to submit your designs the same way it's templated in the GDS3:
Name (rarity)
Mana Cost
Card Type – Subtype
Power/Toughness [IF CREATURE; SKIP OTHERWISE]
Rules Text
3) For the first design challenge (You might as well tribal), try to avoid creature types that were already done by the contestants: Horror, Insect, Ooze, Shaman, Rogue, Aetherborn, Imp, Samurai.
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
I might give it a shot eventually!
Please post yours! Would love to see
DESIGN CHALLENGE #1: YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRIBAL
Tribal themes (cards that mechanically care about one or more creature types) have been popular since Limited Edition (Alpha). For this challenge, we want you to choose a creature type, ideally one that hasn't seen a lot of love in Magic's history, and design eight cards. As this is a design challenge, there are few requirements you'll have to meet:
1. The creature type has to be unique from the other designers. We'll be taking requests first come, first served. Each designer will be using a different creature type. The creature type must be one that already exists in Magic and we strongly urge you avoid ones that have had a lot of previous tribal designs.
2. All the creatures should be designed as if they were from the same set. Assume the set is a Standard-legal set.
3. All eight cards must mechanically care about the creature type. They should not simply be the creature type.
4. Two cards must be designed in each rarity (common, uncommon, rare, and mythic rare).
5. At least two different colors must be used. The colors have to thematically fit the creature type in question. Multicolor designs are not required, but are allowed.
6. You must have at least one artifact, one creature, one enchantment, one instant, one land, and one sorcery among your cards. (The remaining cards can be whatever you'd like.)
7. For named keyword mechanics, you are allowed access to all evergreen mechanics and up to two non-evergreen mechanics (keywords and/or ability words). Note that there is no requirement to use named mechanics. Please do not create any new named keyword mechanics.
The rules were:
For Trial 3, the design test, you will need to design ten cards that meet the following criteria:
1) All the cards will be two-color and each of the ten two-color combinations (listed below) need to be represented.
2) Each of the following five card types (creature, enchantment, instant, planeswalker and sorcery) needs to be represented twice, and never on the same color.
3) Each rarity (common, uncommon, rare, and mythic rare) must be represented on at least two cards.
Submit your cards in order of quality of design from what you consider your best design (first) to what you consider your worst design (last).
___________
Design #1:
Moriel, Who Braids Fates (Mythic)
1WB
Legendary Planeswalker – Moriel
3
+1: Choose up to two target creatures. Until your next turn, whenever one dies, exile the other.
0: Each player loses life equal to the number of loyalty counters on Moriel.
-7: Choose an opponent. Create a white Avatar creature token with power and toughness equal to their life total and hexproof from that player.
My comment on this card:
The whole point of the challenge was to look for as many of your best designs from the past as you could fit, tweak them to fit the bicoloured theme, and then fill the remaing holes in our 10-cards grid. Moriel is inspired by Moiro, Who Braids Fates, my very first planeswalker design. I always found the fate theme of this design quite resonant, and I wanted one of my two planeswalkers to be more conservative.
Design #2:
Wandering Menagerie (Uncommon)
4GW
Sorcery
Choose two types of creature tokens then create them—
• 4/4 green Elephant
• 3/3 white Cat with lifelink
• 2/2 white Bird with flying
• 1/1 green Snake with deathtouch
My comment on this card:
Another of my past designs, it was called Zoomania as a reference to the movie Zootopia x) It's one of my design that really tries to push the rules.
Design #3:
Bane of the Puppeteer (common)
{W/U}
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has power and toughness 1/1.
My comment on this card:
This time, it's only loosely inspired by an old Rare design: Soulcage Doll. It may not seem like much but I like this design for two reasons. 1) It has never been done before even though it's so simple. There are close cards but this has never been done as simply as an enchantment. 2) It shows an unexplored overlap between white and blue, as blue can transform things like with Disminish or Turn to Frog but White also does it on very specific occasions, as it turns all creatures into 1/1 like with Humility and Overwhelming Splendor so I just made the two overlap on a hybrid.
Design #4:
Ælea, Lunatic Monk (Mythic)
3UR
Legendary Planeswalker – Ælea
3
T: Exile the top three cards of your library. Until end of turn, they are Lunacies.
+2: Put a Lunacy in your hand.
-2: Put a permanent Lunacy onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.
-X: Cast an instant or sorcery Lunacy with converted mana cost X without paying its mana cost.
My comment on this card:
I wanted a conservative planeswalker and a more wild one. In case you haven't guessed, this is the wild one ^^ It is a completely new design for this challenge where I tried to have the effect of each ability be unpredictable, a bit like Urza, Academy Headmaster in Unstable. I ended up using an activated ability like many GDS3 contestants, but I think I haven't seen a design where tapping a planeswalker actually makes sense x) P.S: Planeswalkers don't have summoning sickness ^^
Design #5:
Anthem of Freedom (Mythic)
2RG
Legendary Enchantment
Spells and abilities you control cost 2 less to cast for each X in their mana cost.
Whenever a spell or activity makes you choose modes, you may choose an additional mode and you may choose the same mode more than once.
My comment on this card:
Once again a completely new design meant for a flashy Mythic slot. I hope the thematic connection is clear: it's meant to show that you can go beyond limits, you want more, you want all the modes, and all the Xs, nobody can tell you where to stop ^^ It's definitely pushing some rules as well, especially for the modes part. I tried to stick to the formulation from the comprehensive rules as much as I could.
Laly, Leader of the Unseen (Rare)
RW
Legendary Creature – Human
1/1
Double Strike
Whenever a 1/1 creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, you may create a red and white 1/1 Stray creature token.
My comment on this card:
This is one of two cards that came from a single old design: It-Who-Smells-Like-Pumpkin. This card is meant to be a lord of the 1/1 which I think is one of those cool archetypes that were barely touched but could be much more important with things like Commander existing nowadays. I hope the flavour is clear enough, the Unseen are actually the people who live on the street, like orphans, which is why she makes Stray tokens. I was heavily inspired by the Little Birds from Games of Thrones.
Design #7:
Sift Through the Pond (Rare)
5GU
Instant
Exile the top six cards of your library. Target opponent chooses a card that hasn’t been chosen from among them, then you do the same. Repeat this last process until all cards are chosen.
Put all permanent cards chosen by you onto the battlefield under your control and the rest into your graveyard.
My comment on this card:
I had this cool design called Three-Eyes Riddle but it was really difficult to do outside mono-blue. I think I finally managed to find a way by mixing that blue piles effect with the green cheating permanents into play effect ^^
Design #8:
Monster of the Quagmire (Uncommon)
1BG
Creature – Beast Horror
4/5
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature unless you discard a card or pay 3 life.
4BG,T: Put a +1/+1 counter on Monster of the Quagmire and it loses all its abilities.
My comment on this card:
This is the design that changed the least compared to the original version that was also called Monster of the Quagmire. All I had to do was remove the keyworded ability and adjust the stats for uncommon as it was a Rare. I don't think the "loses all abilities" line of text has been used to erase a downsides on a creature before, so I thought it was interesting.
Design #9:
Pyre of the Plagued (Rare)
2BR
Sorcery
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn. Whenever a creature dies this turn, it deals 1 damage to its controller and each other creature that player controls.
My comment on this card:
I'm really fond of death triggers that provoke other deaths so they cascade. As such, this card actually has two "ancestors" in my gallery: 1) Once again (see design 6) the card It-Who-Smells-Like-Pumpkin. 2) My very first design on MTGCardsmith, Gangrenous Titan
Design #10:
Last Scheme (Common)
UB
Instant
Target player puts the top four cards of their library into their graveyard.
If Last Scheme was the last card in your hand when you cast it, that player puts the top eight cards of their library into their graveyard instead.
My comment on this card:
I had this line of text that I thought was cool (caring about being the last card in hand when being cast) that came from an old design called Ruby, Child of Innistrad. The effect was simple enough so I kept it for common because new effects that can go on commons are difficult to find, and this one could theoretically go on any colour combination so it was the very last card I designed. Admittedly, it was harder to find the right staple effect to go with that rider than I anticipated (I tried a pump spell really hard) but I still think it's fine like this.
Here are my comments:
Card 1: Moriol, Who Braids Fate
The first ability is interesting and plays into the fate theme. The second ability is also novel and quite powerful, too powerful in fact. This is three mana for three damage and possibly 6+ if it lives. The ultimate is cool too, and appropriately costed. Overall, I think the design is solid but needs some tuning to balance the card.
Card 2: Wandering Menagerie
This card is appropriate for uncommon, is powerful, and utilizes a new wording. I don't actually know if this wording works within the rules, but either way the card is awesome and a very polished design (new templating tended to either go over well or flop with the judges in the GDS 3 so far, so it could be to your benefit or not in the actual challenge).
Card 3: Bane of the Puppeteer
This design is clean, simple, and functional, but there is one big issue. According to the 2017 Mechanical color pie article, white no longer get "Transformation" (of base P/T). That being said, this would be fine as a blue common although it should probably cost 1U instead of just U.
Card 4: Aelea, Lunatic Monk
I see what you were trying to do with the tap ability and the "lunacy" subtype which is flavorful but I think the exact same functionality can be done within the current rules as follows:
Ælea, Lunatic Monk (Mythic)
3UR
Legendary Planeswalker – Ælea
3
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top three cards of your library.
+2: Put a card exiled with Aelea, Lunatic Monk this turn into your hand.
-2: Put a permanent card exiled with Aelea, Lunatic Monk this turn onto the battlefield under your control. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.
-X: Cast an instant or sorcery card exiled with Aelea, Lunatic Monk this turn with converted mana cost X without paying its mana cost.
This version is just as novel but much more comprehensible. I love the concept and think it would be a big hit, there is just one problem. The -2 is broken: it can put a griselbrand/emrakul into play (basically through the breach). I would suggest putting a CMC restriction on the -2 or making it a -X ability like the third ability. Overall though, I think the design is quite good. I prefer this planeswalker design as a whole to the first one.
Card 5: Anthem of Freedom
This card should likely be rare as that's where these kind of flashy combo effects go. The first ability has to be two separate abilities (one for spells and one for abilities) because you cast spells and activate abilities so the wording for each has to match that nomenclature. For the second ability, an "activity" is not a defined magic term. I think you mean ability instead. This card concept is extremely novel. I am unsure how broken it is (there is probably an infinite combo with it, but I couldn't think of one off the top of my head) so that could impact how much it needs to cost.
Card 6: Laly, Leader of the Unseen
Nice, flavorful design. There are some minor wording/grammar issues, but they don't interfere with understanding the card. I would either raise the mana cost to 3 or add a "nontoken" clause onto the token creation ability because at 2 mana this can get out of hand very quickly if the tokens it creates also make tokens.
Card 7: Sift Through the Pond
Because of the blowout potential and value it can give you, I think this is probably a mythic rare, but it is close. I like that you let the opponent choose first so you can't just put a Griselbrand/Emrakul into play if you hit it guaranteed. This is a cool design.
Card 8: Monster of the Quagmire
I think this is a intriguing design that suffers from the Trial 3 restriction of no non-evergreen mechanics. G/B doesn't get "lose all abilities" so technically this is a color pie break, but it probably would be considered a bend because of how it is executed. Overall, I like the concept but the card would be cleaner as follows (not holding it against you since my design wouldn't for the challenge):
Monster of the Quagmire (Uncommon)
1BG
Creature – Beast Horror
4/5
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature, discard a card, or pay 3 life unless CARDNAME is monstrous.
4BG: Monstrosity 1.
Card 9: Pyre of the Plagued
I see what you were going for here, but this card is just too powerful at 4 mana. If my opponent has a 2/2, a 3/3, and a 4/4, they all die and my opponent takes 3 damage. I would recommend removing the damage to players and upping the cost to 5 mana. This card is too lethal to any combination of small and medium sized creatures for its cost. That being said, I really like the fusion of red and black mass removal in one card.
Card 10:Last Scheme
Like Monster of the Quagmire, this card suffers from being unable to have a non-evergreen mechanic. I think it would be designed as follows if you could:
Last Scheme (Common)
UB
Instant
Target player puts the top four cards of their library into their graveyard.
Hellbent - That player puts the top eight cards of their library into their graveyard instead if you have no cards in hand.
I think this card is borderline commmon/uncommon because in the right set (probably dimir in Ravnica) could be oppressive in limited with the mill deck (think dampen thought in Champions of Kamigawa limited).
Overall Comments
Overall, I think your designs were solid. I didn't have any major problems with any of them. You definitely went for novelty and had some hits. I am a nit picky critic so I hope you take my comments at face value and not as overly critical. I thought your best design was Wandering Menagerie and that both your planeswalker designs were quite good, much better than most of the GDS3 top eight in fact. Great job!
I will be posting my own 10 cards soon, and I look forward to your's and anyone else's feedback.
Thank you for this feedback, it's very insightful and really made me think =D
There are definitely some parts that I had considered (usually about rates, when in doubt I prefer to design cards undercosted by one-mana than overcosted by that much when designing for challenges, because flashiness is important to sell new ideas ^^) but also a lot of really good notes on things I had missed that I would have done differently after reading your comments (I didn't even think of how close to Hellbent my mechanic was on the last design "Last Scheme"
On a specific card, AElea, Lunatic Monk:
This design started exactly as you mentioned: "At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top three cards of your library." And, as you proposed, all abilities had "ACTION WITH a card exiled by AELea this turn."
There is two big flaws with this design that I quickly realized:
1) Your planeswalker do nothing on the turn you play it, since the upkeep has long passed, so you don't have cards exiled this turn.
2) Space becomes an issue as all abilities are super long to write. The "Exiled with AElea this turn" part becomes really annoying when you have to read it three times and try to write abilities with that thing in the middle.
I then tried "When CARDNAME enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top three cards of your library." This means your planeswalker can do stuff on its first turn, but the final package of the planeswalker was so wordy I kept coming back to it, trying to find new simpler ways of wording it (I iterated on this line of text for 3 days, and wasn't sure if I was going to simply scrap off the whole concept as it was so unappealing to read.)
I also tried "At the beginning of your post-combat main phase" because if you played AElea on your pre-combat main phase you could still have the cards exiled on your first turn. But it was super clunky, as it's a very technical term, it prevented all interactions with combat-relevant spells you could exile, and the second ability had to change entirely.
So I searched for a trigger that could happen in the first half of your turn but after you cast AElea, that happened only once a turn, and that wasn't too technical. That's when I thought of a tap ability. I didn't start this design by "Hey, I'm going to design a planeswalker with a tap ability", I just ended up there randomly xD
The Lunacy part, as you could guess, is me trying to make the abilities easier to read. After I found this trick, it said "Lunay cards" for a while, then I decided to go all-in and dumped even the word "cards" x)
P.S: I'm sad I didn't think of cutting my designs in more posts, I wanted to add your comments below mine after each card in color to make it look like the GDS3 article with the judges comments but I don't have enough characters left >.<
Design 1
Jvani, Gravetender (Mythic Rare)
3(b/g)(b/g)
Legendary Planeswalker – Jvani
4
+1: Put the top two cards of your library into your graveyard. Then, you may discard a card. If you do, return up to one target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
-3: Create an X/X green and black Lhurgoyf creature token, where X is the number of card types among cards in your graveyard.
-7: Target creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each card in your graveyard. It gains trample and indestructible until end of turn.
Design 2
Shardik, Fevered Guardian (Rare)
1RG
Legendary Artifact Creature - Bear Construct
6/6
Trample
At the beginning of your end step, put a -1/-1 counter on Shardik, Fevered Guardian.
Your maximum hand size is equal to Shardik, Fevered Guardian's power.
Design 3
Ancestor's Blessing (Uncommon)
GW
Instant
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains hexproof and lifelink until end of turn.
As long as a creature you control is the target of a spell an opponent controls, you may cast Ancestor's Blessing from your graveyard for {2}{g}{w}. If it would be put into your graveyard this turn, exile it instead.
Design 4
Fate Foretold (Mythic Rare)
2UUBB
Sorcery
Search your library for six cards with different names, reveal them, then shuffle your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. Put one pile on top of your library in any order. For each card in the other pile, you may pay 6 life to put it into you hand. Exile any cards not put into your hand this way.
Design 5
Displacer Deputy (Common)
3(w/u)(w/u)
Creature - Human Wizard
3/3
When Displacer Deputy enters the battlefield, you may exile another target creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control.
Design 6
Xarion, Agent of Infinity (Mythic Rare)
XUR
Legendary Planeswalker - Xarion
X
+1: Draw a card, then discard a card.
-2: Xarion, Agent of Infinity deals damage equal to the number of instant or sorcery cards in your graveyard to target creature.
-8: Xarion, Agent of Infinity deals damage to target opponent equal to the total converted mana cost of instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard.
Design 7
General's Decree (Uncommon)
RW
Sorcery
Name two nonland cards. Until your next turn, whenever an opponent casts a spell with a name chosen with General's Decree, General's Decree deals 5 damage to that player.
Design 8
Rite of the Returned (Rare)
2WB
Enchantment
At the beginning of your end step, you may exile target creature card from a graveyard. Then, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life for each creature card exiled with Rite of the Returned.
{x}, Sacrifice Rite of the Returned: Put a creature card exiled with Rite of the Returned with converted mana cost X onto the battlefield under your control.
Design 9
Grave Retribution (Common)
1BR
Instant
Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand. If a creature with the same name as that creature died this turn, Grave Retribution deals 2 damage to target creature an opponent controls.
Design 10
Evolutionary Upgrade (Uncommon)
1GU
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
At the beginning of your end step, put a +1/+1 counter on enchanted creature.
{u}: Return Evolutionary Upgrade to its owner's hand.
____________________________________________________________________
You can find the actual cards I created in this set:
https://mtgcardsmith.com/user/bnew07/sets/31658
Feedback, comments, and criticism is welcome so please take a look and tell me what you think!
Just FYI since the Aelea Planeswalker doesn't have haste the tap ability doesn't work on the first turn you play it. That is why I made the exile ability on my version not work on the first turn, so it would be a functional duplicate of yours.
Planeswalkers don't have summonick sickness, just like you can tap an artifact the first turn it enters the battlefield
I'm reading through your entry right now, the link you provided doesn't seem to work, I'd love to look at the cards if you can fix the link
I believe they do have summoning sickness because Gideon Ally of Zendikar couldn't attack on the first turn you played it if you +1 it.
Also thanks for the heads up with the link, I fixed it now.
Alright! I hope you're ready for feedback!
Design 1 — Jvani, Gravetender
The originality of this planeswalker comes from the use of hybrid mana. It’s nothing incredibly exciting from a player perspective, but from a design perspective it is a real tour de force as finding overlaps between two colours is a very difficult job, so congratulations on finding three abilities that mostly feel hybrid while still telling a coherent story! If I’m nit-picking, I felt the option to discard in the first ability quite confusing (it does synergize with the two other abilities, but you would need to be desperate to discard a card just to make the other two abilities give +1/+1 to a creature.) I do appreciate that you give the players information on the card they mill before proposing the discard. The second ability is a cool and flavourful callback!
The ultimate is my main problem: it feels black AND green and not black OR green as hybrid should, because trample is tertiary in black and haste is tertiary in green which means they shouldn’t grant this keyword to other creatures. Still I understand how difficult it is to design a hybrid planeswalker without giving in to this kind of shortcuts. Finally, I think power wise the ultimate is a bit lacking. We have a surprisingly long history of green planeswalkers with a +X/+X trample ultimate and they usually either give that boost to all creature you control or give it permanently via +1/+1 counters or an emblem.
Design 2 — Shardik, Fevered Guardian
You managed to slip an artifact in the challenge!
Design 3 — Ancestor's Blessing
I really like pump spells that come back from the graveyard =D For instance I thought Unconventional Tactics was a fun Limited card in Hour of Devastation. That said, those cards are usually sorceries to avoid exactly what’s happening with this card. I think it’s a bit oppressive because it acts as an enchantment with “2GW: Target creature gains +1/+1 and hexproof until end of turn” except you need graveyard hate which is much less frequent than enchantment removal to get rid of it. Finally, I believe that design could be mono-green, unless I’m missing something.
Design 4 — Fate Foretold
Fate Foretold is the name of a common in Theros, but nobody really cares about it anyways
Design 5 — Displacer Deputy
A simple common that plays well into the blue/white overlap of blinking. There’s nothing really new here but interestingly the only common that allows you to blink another creature than itself is Ordinary Pony from Unstable x)
Design 6 — Xarion, Agent of Infinity
Ah! Another X planeswalker like Nissa, Steward of Elements! You didn’t really include a reason to care about the value of X other than how fast you can reach the ultimate though, like the 0 ability of Nissa, so I’m wondering if Xarion simply doesn’t want to be a regular non-X planeswalker. That said, it pushes the spellslinger archetype in an interesting way, the ultimate looks especially scary and the use of looting is both simple and clever ^^ I especially like the tension built into the ultimate where it looks at the CMC instead of the raw numbers. Pushing this planeswalker even further from cantrips could have been an interesting option and I like that at least the ultimate gives you that possibility. The way the second ability ties into the spellslinger archetype feels a little more clunky than the rest of the card to me. It probably feels more like a threshold mechanic where you either have none or too many spells in the graveyard, I doubt there would be many occasions where this offered an actual choice to the opponent.
Design 7 — General's Decree
I’m lukewarm about this design because the only way that it does the cool thing (blasting your opponent for 5) is probably because the spell that is being cast means you’re dead. I like Decrees effects and, when they only last one turn, I don’t think they need a built-in safety to bypass the decree (an enchantment would have been different.) Interestingly, my favourite part of your design is the fact that you can name multiple cards. That has never been done before (to my knowledge, and Scryfall seems to agree with me) and it opens some interesting design space, I believe.
Design 8 — Rite of the Returned
I really like the tension you’re building between wanting to pile up more cards to drain your opponents for a billion, and wanting to sacrifice the enchantment to get a creature back
Design 9 — Grave Retribution
I’m really fond of that condition, it’s a recuperation effect that incentivizes you to play it as a Faith’s Reward kind of effect, I love it! It may be a little strong for common because you can kill a creature AND get a card back which is a lot of value for a 3-mana common, even a multicoloured one.
Design 10 — Evolutionary Upgrade
It’s simple but clever, you can bounce your enchantment to save it or to spread the counters. Lower rarity cards that offer interesting choices and have hidden value are a precious resource, and I think you just found one
Overall feedback —
I really liked reading your designs, they all felt like real cards that were well balanced and could fit in an actual Magic set. I think your biggest strength is to design very clever commons and uncommons, they often have that little detail that made them great, I was surprised to see you ranked them that low overall. In that sense, I’ve noticed you preferred to have three uncommons and two rares, which I think was a good idea because it allowed you to show what you’re especially good at. My main critic is a more general one, I wish I had seen one card that were trying something truly out-of-the-box. Your designs were very clean and polished, and I know it’s impossible to re-invent the wheel with every design, but I think a “blow-your-mind-crazy-probably-doesn’t-work” design would have looked great to contrast with the level of clever details of your other cards. You did had a couple of pretty original planeswalkers, but we just had an X planeswalker and the hybrid planeswalker is definitely cool but not super flashy.
To conclude, my favourite design was Shardik, Fevered Guardian, because it was playing in a weird design space of hand-size-matters that was really well-executed and opened some interesting design space in Red/Green, a colour combination that traditionally has a very narrow design space!
Thanks a lot for your feedback, it was really insightful and made some great points:
Design 1 Jvani, Gravetender:
The reason that the discard is there is to make the ability a pseudo-rummage (like Nahiri the Harbinger's +2). It looks kinda wierd and out of place in the middle of the ability, but I felt that it was more balanced this way instead of just drawing a creature from a graveyard for a plus ability. It might be okay as just mill 2, rebuy a creature, but that is also very similar to liliana the last hope's -2 ability and I didn't want to duplicate an existing ability. I agree that the ultimate is a stretch since black/green shouldn't really be granting trample/haste to creatures, but I felt that because it was a planeswalker ultimate that it would come up rarely enough to be more of a bend than a color pie break. If I had to tweak the ultimate, I would probably change it to trample/indestructible/deathtouch to make it stronger (even though WOTC doesn't like to do deathtouch/trample on cards together).
Design 2: Shardik, Fevered Guardian
I agree that the -1/-1 counters are not necessary (they are for flavor reasons). If I was actually submitting this, I would have used +1/+1 counters being removed instead, but this was an old design of mine so I just left it be.
Design 3: Ancestor's Blessing
After reading your comments on this card, I can just hear the judges saying "repetitive play pattern--remove from file" and "can be done in monocolor". You are correct that this card could be mono-green. I really liked the idea of an instant or sorcery that you can recast like you did, so I think I would change the text box as follows going forward:
Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains hexproof and lifelink until end of turn.
As long as a creature you control is the target of a spell an opponent controls, you may cast Ancestor's Blessing from your graveyard for {2}{g}{w}. If it would be put into your graveyard this turn, exile it instead.
The modification makes it necessarily GW and not recursive indefinitely. Your comments on this card in particular were really insightful and helped me a lot, so thanks!
Design 4: Fate Foretold
I actually knew that there was a card already named fate foretold but the name was perfect for the card for flavor reasons so I decided to "forget" about a lowly THS common. This was one of my riskier designs from a power level standpoint because (as you pointed out). You can get all 6 cards. I think that the primarily reason this card is okay power level wise is because you have to pay at least 6 life to get even a single card in hand. Six mana to stack your deck is not really worth it, so I think that having to pay life to get card advantage at all is enough balance for now (although I haven't playtested it, so it could be busted).
Design 5:Displacer Deputy
I was very surprised to see that no white/blue common creature had even done flickering, so I made one. In hindsight (and you pointed this out in the overall comments), I probably should have made this design 1/2 and made the B/G planeswalker design 5. I think the judges would like this card a lot because it is simple and hasn't been done before and should be at the top of the list.
Design 6: Xarion, Agent of Infinity
I think that you are right that this planeswalker doesn't have a specific reason/reward to be X other than paying 10 mana for the ultimate offhand, but there is a strategic implication to the X cost (especially when I change the middle ability to what I put below). I think the play pattern with this card is different depending on how much mana is spent to cast it, which is why I like the X-cost. The strength of the minus ability (both the old one and the new one) varies as the game goes on, and when it is cast for 7+ mana, there is a lot of tension between plussing towards the ultimate or minussing for a lot of damage to a creature. I agree with your comments on all the abilties. The more I think about it, the -1 ability will likely not lead to any interesting choices as you pointed out. I would revise the minus ability as follows:
-2: CARDNAME deals damage equal to the number of instants or sorcery cards in your graveyard to target creature.
Design 7: General's Decree
It turns out that in the history of magic, there has only been 1!!! R/W uncommon sorcery card. I wanted to do something novel for this slot, and ended up with the multiple naming (which I agree is untapped design space). I agree from a gameplay perspective that this card isn't very fun or interesting--it plays in a novel space though, which is why I included it.
Design 8: Rite of the Returned
Agree with your comments. This card was pretty straightforward.
Design 9: Grave Retribution
I knew that this card is a borderline common/uncommon when I designed it, but I thought the concept was too good to not make a card for it once I came up with it. I thought exactly what you said when I designed it, which is that it was a 3 mana common 2-for-1 which is risky. I think the reason that I kept it at 3 mana and not 4 was to preserve tension between casting it just as a raise dead or waiting to get the "retribution" deal 2 damage value. At 4 mana, you really have to get the 2 damage to make it worth the spell, but at 3 mana it is much closer. I would expect a lot of comments/strong opinions on this card from the judges in the real design test because of its aggressive cost and rarity, which is why I put it 9th.
Design 10: Evolutionary Upgrade
I think this design is deceptively good and I probably should have put it higher.
Overall Comments
I agree that I definitely should have done at least 1 "out-of-the box card", probably in the RW uncommon sorcery slot. I tend to design cards within the existing rules and that showed in my other cards so I would have benefited from mixing that up a bit. I also should have put my uncommon designs higher too, as you pointed out. Thanks a ton for your comments and time--I definitely learned a lot from your points about my cards and my blind spots as a designer.
The cards are also are in order of when I came up with the base idea for them.
Design Test:
Design #1
2UB
Ritual of Conformity (Rare)
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant nonland card in your graveyard
You may cast nonland cards that share a card type with enchanted card as a copy of enchanted card.
Design #2
3GU
Concealed Colossus (Mythic Rare)
Creature - Beast
4/4
Trample, hexproof
While you're searching your library or looking at cards in your library, you may reveal Concealed Colossus from among those cards and cast it.
Design #3
BG
Venomous Renewal (Uncommon)
Sorcery
Destroy target nonland permanent an opponent controls. Until your next turn, whenever that permanent's controller taps a land for mana, they add one mana of any type that land produced.
Design #4
1GW
Indomitable Faith (Uncommon)
Enchantment - Aura
Indomitable Faith has flash as long as you control an attacking creature.
Enchant creature you control
Enchanted creature has defender, hexproof, and indestructible.
Design #5
3WU
Dovin, Secluded Artificer (Mythic Rare)
Planeswalker - Dovin
Loyalty: 4
Flash
When Dovin enters the battlefield, you may activate loyalty abilities of Dovin on any player’s turn any time you could cast an instant this turn.
+1: You may return another nonland permanent you control to its owner's hand.
-2: Draw a card for each noncreature, nonland permanent that entered the battlefield this turn.
-3: Until your next turn, up to two target creatures lose all abilities and have base power and toughness 1/1.
I have no sample card for Dovin because I couldn't even make it fit nicely on MSE.
Design #6
1{R/W}
Rally for Warfare (Common)
Sorcery
Creatures you control gain haste until end of turn if R was spent to cast Rally for Warfare and gain vigilance until end of turn if W was spent to cast it. (Do both if RW was spent.)
Draw a card.
Design #7
UR
Lingering Arcana (Rare)
Instant
You get an echo counter, than you may copy an instant or sorcery spell with converted mana cost equal to the number of echo counters you have. Exile Lingering Arcana.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may cast Lingering Arcana from exile without paying its mana cost.
Design #8
1BR
Abyss Harvester (Uncommon)
Artifact Creature - Scarecrow
Deathtouch
Whenever Abyss Harvester becomes blocked by a creature, that creature loses first strike, double strike, and indestructible until end of turn.
(It doesn't have to be an artifact creature; that's just to enter it into another contest as well)
Design #9
WB
Soul's Corruption (Common)
Instant
Whenever target creature an opponent controls deals damage this turn, you gain that much life and that creature's controller loses that much life.
Design #10
4RG
Hyka, Gaea's Consort (Mythic Rare)
Planeswalker - Hyka
Loyalty: 5
Creatures you control have haste.
+1: Create a 2/1 green Rabbit creature token.
-3: deals damage to target creature or planeswalker equal to twice the number of tokens you control.
-8: Create X 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens, where X is the total power of creatures you control.
There is no MTGCardsmith card for Hyka because of the need for four abilities
I would've liked Hyka to say "Creature tokens you control have haste."
All in all (I have better opinions of some than others) I think you did marvelously.
Alright, time for some in-depths feedback!
Design #1 — Ritual of Conformity
Wow! That's some flashy design to start your design challenge! =D It's really exciting and I would love to playtest it, but I'm a little scared by the absence of any real safety valve on this card: the CMC is low, it's not legendary which increase the potential memory issues, you can copy anything but lands, nothing prevents you from abusing the same card infinitely in an unhealthy way (think Counterspell, etc)... I wish you had taken some lessons from how Spellweaver Volute handled these concerns.
Design #2 — Concealed Colossus
In my opinion, that's even better design than RYAN SIEGEL-STECHLER's Heart's Desire in the GDS3 Trial 3 (Design 5)!
Design #3 — Venomous Renewal
The effect is very strong, the drawback is very strong, there's a lot of tension so it's definitely an interesting card. I'm unsure uncommon is really the appropriate rarity though: the memory workload is susbtantial, Abrupt Decay effects are kept at rare, and Mirari's Wake effects are kept at Rare/Mythic.
Design #4 — Indomitable Faith
Again, a really strong effect with a really strong downsides make an interesting dillema
Design #5 — Dovin, Secluded Artificer
Text that don't fit on actual MTG cards was the number one mistake of GDS3 Trial 3 according to Mark Rosewater, you really need to make it short enough to fit
I'm torn because this Dovin Baan is super cool when you cast it with Flash, so why is it only cool for one turn? It feels to me like a missed opportunity, this could have been an instant-speed abilities planeswalker all the way through.
Barring the first turn, it feels weak for a 5-mana planeswalker (compare this to Teferi, Hero of Dominaria).
- Returning you own creatures in your hand at sorcery speed is a clunky way of re-using ETB abilities you usually see on bad commons.
- The drawing ability only works with enchantment, artifacts and planeswalkers which is not much and sounds really random.
- I like the -3 ability a lot, because it truly hits Dovin Baan's theme of finding imperfections and exploiting them, but I would have prefered a real ultimate
Design #6 — Rally for Warfare
From what I can tell, it mimicks a cycle from Shadowmoor/Eventide with cards like Torrent of Souls. I think it really needs to give at least +1/+1, otherwise I think this has too little impact to justify taking a card slot in a file.
Design #7 — Lingering Arcana
You're cheating here! XD This is definitely an enchantment ;p Other than that, I really love it, it's basically Imminent Doom from Hour of Devastation but much funnier! It looks like a wonderful build-around card and I would be very excited to try it
Design #8 — Abyss Harvester
Cards that hate on your opponent's strategy are usually too swingy to create healthy play patterns (they're either useless or just crush you opponent) but I think you hit an interesting exception with this "You have to trade, no keyword tricks!" creature ^^ It's neat, though I'm a little more confused by the rest of the card. Scarecrows are usually creatures with defender, and I don't really see the red in that design.
Design #9 — Soul's Corruption
That's a pretty clever twist on Spirit Link
Design #10 — Hyka, Gaea's Consort
The nonloyalty ability synergizes with the rest of your cards as well, which is interesting. I agree with the comments above that caring more specifically about creature TOKENS could have made it a little more unique and flavourful. The fact that the last two abilities ask you to control creatures to do something is really reminiscent of Huatli, Radiant Champion but I like that the first ability gives you tokens by itself, this way they feel less similar in a "parasitic-planeswalker that cares about creatures" slot.
As for the ability-by-ability feedback:
- For the +1, unless you have a specific reason to do so, it's always better to give creature tokens square stats because of memory concerns (i.e. same power and toughness).
- For the -3, I'm concerned that it's too strong because of the doubling. On turn 6, it's not that difficult to have 5+ tokens and deal 10+ damage, one-shotting your opponent.
- For the -8, it reminds me of Ajani, Caller of the Pride or Sorin, Grim Nemesis but with a touch of Ghalta, Primal Hunger, it's a really cool and flashy combination that makes for a very solid ultimate
___________
OVERALL:
I feel you did a very good job and managed to show a bit of everything you liked in those designs, congratulations =D Your love of flash and doubling were quite explicit, which was very funny to me xD
I think your strongest suit is to design for Johnny/Jehnny as the most remarkable concepts from your list, in my opinion, were your numerous build-around-me cards. I think the area where you can improve the most would be on the refinement. I sometimes felt you had a strong concept but didn't iterate enough (Ritual of Conformity having virtually no safeguard, Dovin being the "instant planeswalker" only for one turn, Hyka caring exclusively about tokens while its nonloyalty ability gives haste to even nontokens,etc.)
To conclude, my favourite design from that list is Lingering Arcana. It really embodies the best of your design style, being a really flashy Johnny/Jehnny build-around!
Design 1: Ritual of Conformity
This was my favorite design, only because it was the one that I felt tapped into the most unused design potential - casting spells as copies of other spells. I didn't even notice how busted it could be (funny, considering Isochron scepter, which has similar results, is a favorite of mine).
Design 2: Concealed Colossus
I loved designing this card. It originally was a 2GU 3/3 Hexproof, but that a) didn't feel strong enough when you couldn't cast it from your library and b) could've had that problem you mentioned about getting multiple at once.
Design 3: Venomous Renewal
I completely missed the fact that destroying nonland permanents is a rare and up ability, and just ignored the thing about doubling mana (I was thinking about land aura, which often have a similar effect).
Design 4: Indomitable Faith
This one has the main problem that I didn't playtest this with anyone, experienced or not, and probably would have at least noticed one of those things then.
Design 5: Dovin, Secluded Artificer
This was a design that when I came up with the original idea, I was so happy, and then really irritated as I tried to make it fit. Maybe removing flash and just giving it "You may activate loyalty abilities of Dovin, Secluded Artificer on any player’s turn any time you could cast an instant." Then, the weaker abilities would still work somewhat, because you get to use two - four abilities: one during your turn and one during each opponents (which is a bit worrying in commander). Quick possible update to it:
Design 6: Rally for Warfare
You're probably right about the power level of this card. I just wanted to make a hybrid card, and figured this would be the easiest way to make it. The card draw afterwards may help mitigate the lack of power, but I'm not sure by how much.
Design 7: Lingering Arcana
I was really tempted with both my WR and WB instant and sorceries to have them create tokens, but remembered the comments on how they would be counted as creatures then. Then, I forgot to think about that with Lingering Arcana and enchantments.
I was proud of this design. The idea of some kind of imminent doom for instant and sorceries was easy to think of, but figuring out how to make it work rules-wise and fit on one card took forever. This went from a Skullbriar-type card that doesn't lose counters to a trigger to put it into your hand from your graveyard upon casting instant and sorceries, and this "experience counter" format was the only way to make it make sense.
Design 8: Abyss Harvester
The "Scarecrow" part of this card doesn't matter; that was me just trying to get an unusual creature type into this challenge. As for the red, that was mostly for the idea that this gives pseduo-first strike/double strike by being able to trade with creatures with those abilities, as well as the fact that the only two cards currently that remove indestructible and deal damage together are red (Burn from Within & Hour of Devastation).
Design 9: Soul's Corruption
I was trying to make a new type of damage redirection spell with this card, but did so by trying to meld commons and uncommons: Spirit Link and Visions of Brutality. I tried to compare this to a couple of other cards with similar abilities (Awe Strike, Ragged Vines is a reverse of what the black did)
I think the actual best comparison is Soul of the Faultless, which essentially does this card's ability on a creature. With that in mind, I think my main mistake was the rarity, but I believe it could be done in theory at uncommon.
Design 10: Hyka, Gaea's Consort
The idea about caring only about Tokens is interesting, and could definitely work well.
For the +1, I just didn't want to repeat already existing cards, but making a 2/1 might not have been the best way to do that.
It seems to me you misread the -3, because it says "creature or planeswalker" not "any target," making it a good removal ability in token heavy decks and a decent damage effect when it is your main token generator.
I've started working on the Challenge #1, and will post my cards there when I finish it
Thank you for the advice!
Commented on Wandering Menagerie.
Here are my comments on your cards:
Design #1
Ritual of Conformity (Rare)
This card is busted, plain and simple. I can cast a 1-mana spell and get a 10-mana spell. And then I can do it again. I think it would have to cost at least 6 to balance it in older formats. Also, I don't believe this works with permanents--you can't get a copy of a creature spell as far as I know (not 100% though). However, this design is very cool and has a lot of interesting aspects in addition to being very novel. If you were allowed to use non-evergreen mechanics, I think this would have made a nice imprint card. So overall, this concept is great but the cost and the potential rules issues knock it down a chunk.
Design #2
Concealed Colossus (Mythic Rare)
I appreciate the wording change you made with this card to have it work when you were looking at the top X cards of your library. Nice job! I think that while this design is cool, it is not mythic rare. This card is not busted in limited, and it has a wacky ability and wacky abilities are usually done at rare. I also like the flavor connection of the "Concealed" to hexproof. On the flip side, I think the "Colossus" part falls flat because it is only a 4/4.
Design #3
Venomous Renewal (Uncommon)
Destroy target nonland permanent an opponent controls. Until your next turn, whenever that permanent's controller taps a land for mana, they add one mana of any type that land produced.
I think that this card has a ton of tension in it, which is really good. I actually can't decide whether it is undercosted, overcosted, or costed just right. It is novel, and cost effective which adds to the appeal. My only issue with this card is that due to the memory baggage the mana ability creates, this card should be at rare. Also, nonland permanent removal is usually done at rare, but the other reason is more compelling. Art and name are on point! Great design overall.
Design #4
Indomitable Faith (Uncommon)
I found this card a little confusing. The flash rider indicates that you want to use this as a combat trick to save your creature/win a combat but the fact that it gains defender means I also really don't want to cast it on my good creature that can finish the game by attacking. The play pattern with this card rewards you immediately but then likely hurts you down the line. That turns this card into a combat trick with a big downside which leads to some feel bad moments.
Design #5
Dovin, Secluded Artificer (Mythic Rare)
I think the -3 ability is great, but the other abilities fall flat for me. First, the -2 is very narrow. This only triggers off of planeswalkers, artifacts, and enchantments, all of which you likely will not have too many in your deck (nor will your opponents). I think it is just too weak and will rarely draw you more than 1 card, which isn't really worth the -2 loyalty. The +1 plays nicely with the flash to save a creature the turn it comes into play but after that will often do nothing but increase loyalty. This planeswalker is definitely a build around and my comments are meant in the abstract. I am sure there is a deck that can use this card well, but I don't know if the entire package is worth the 5 mana even then. The flash and the etb ability is very novel though, and definitely a cool design space.
Design #6
Rally for Warfare (Common)
Nice use of hybrid mana. I think this card is definitely a common, maybe a little on the weak side(but that is okay). My only criticism is that you give your creatures haste but a creature that you may draw off of the cantrip ability won't have haste. this could lead to some feel bad moments, but still this is a nice design.
Design #7
Lingering Arcana (Rare)
This is a cool design, my favorite of all of your designs by far. The only issue is that this card should just be an enchantment. In the actual GDS3, the contestents got dinged for this exact thing and I think it would apply here. I like that you are playing with putting different counters on players, but it is just so much less complex as an enchantment that making it an instant doesn't cut it. Still, awesome concept.
Design #8
Abyss Harvester (Uncommon)
I get the flavor of the card and that is what I think makes this card work even though the text is kind of clunky. I also like how it only works on attacking--that feels right for black and red. I think that most scarecrows have defender, though, so I would expect another creature type would be more appropriate.
Design #9
Soul's Corruption (Common)
Whenever target creature an opponent controls deals damage this turn, you gain that much life and that creature's controller loses that much life.
This card functions a lot like a damage prevention card (without that language) which is good design since damage prevention isn't used too often. However, it also creates memory issues. You have to remember if the targeted creature deals damage more than once in a turn (say that it has a T: deal 1 damage to target creature ability, for example). For that reason, this card is uncommon. Still, a nice clean W/B design.
Design #10
Hyka, Gaea's Consort (Mythic Rare)
Typically, WOTC doesn't want a single card to make more than 1 type of token, so this card is encroaching on that rule. I think that the haste text is cool, but probably should be "creature tokens you control have haste" to stay with the token theme. In terms of the abilities, I think they are all good on their own and as a whole. The only issue I have is with the ultimate and the static haste ability. In order to get the full value from the ultimate you really want to ultimate it on 9 loyalty to the tokens have haste. For that reason, I think you could redesign this planeswalker without the static ability and make the tokens on the ultimate and the +1 the same and be green/red 1/1 with haste and have the plus ability make 2 tokens. That would synergize better with the ultimate and be a cleaner design overall. This planeswalker design is pretty good overall--I am nitpicking really.
Overall Comments
I think your strongest cards are Lingering Arcana, Venomous Renewal, and Ritual of Conformity in that order. I liked the R/G Planeswalker as well (it came in 4th for me). You definitely have a good eye for designing combo and Johnny-type cards. Your designs as a whole package were quite complex though, and I would have liked to see 1-2 cards with simpler text but strategic or gameplay depth.
Keep in mind that all my comments are meant in the vein of constructive criticism and I am being terribly picky in how I judged them. Great Job overall! Also feel free to comment on my design test which is already posted higher up in the thread.
Quick responses, mostly explanations (I talked about a lot of that stuff in my comment responding to @ningyounk)
Entry 1: Ritual of Conformity
In retrospect, it should say "from your hand." However, the point of this card is because you cast the card as a copy, it costs the same mana cost as the enchanted card. This entry was important for me as toying with the rules, seeing how far I can go. For the creature thing, I'm not sure if this works as well because they've never made a card that does that, but as far as I can tell from the rules of resolving spells:
608.3. If the object that’s resolving is a permanent spell, its resolution involves a single step (unless it’s an Aura). The spell card becomes a permanent and is put onto the battlefield under the control of the spell’s controller.
Under this rule, I would assume having a copy of a creature spell on the stack makes the copy become a permanent and enter play same as a normal creature spell.
Entry 2: Concealed Colossus
The reason I put this at mythic is the simple power of having multiple of them. If you have five mana and a fetchland (or similar abilities), this is a free card. The original card to do this effect, Panglacial Wurm, was seven mana, making it really hard to cast in addition to searching your library. This also works with ponder/scry effects, making it easy to turn scry and tutor effects into extra cards.
Entry 3: Venomous Renewal
Commented above in response to @ningyounk
Entry 4: Indomitable Faith
Commented above, mostly on need for playtesting.
Entry 5: Dovin, Secluded Artificer
Commented above.
Entry 6: Rally for Warfare
Commented above; about the haste thing, that is true, but there is no easy way to make it work while keeping this card at common.
Entry 7: Lingering Arcana
Commented above.
Entry 8: Abyss Harvester
Commented above, definitely should change the creature type because Scarecrow doesn't make sense (however, only 2 of 31 Magic scarecrows do have defender).
Entry 9: Soul's Corruption
Commented above, in retrospect, should've made this uncommon, and Indomitable Faith common by changing it a bit.
Entry 10: Hyku, Gaea's Consort
Did not realize the thing about different type of tokens, thank you for pointing that out!
Thank you for reviewing mine, I know this can take time, I will judge yours as soon as I have more time!
The cards are on a separate account I usually use for unfinished concept cards because I don't want to flood my account with multiple versions of the same card