Rehia - Story Review

Set Design Thread:
http://forums.mtgcardsmith.com/discussion/4899/religion-set-on-a-plane-called-rehia-set-design-phase/p1

This thread is to serve as a peer review for my writing, the story for Rehia spans over 500 years and I am bound to miss some aspect in the writing process or some might not be as hardy as my other examples, some characters might be too undercooked or some elements might not be elaborated too much (And some altogether I haven't even reached yet).

I currently have a DnD book being written, a set to do, and other miscellaneous things like designing faction logos, watermarks, set symbols, etc...

Format (This is to make it easier for me to answer your question and understand it):

- Location on the map (I have worked on some continents and areas more than the others)/ Story Event

- Subject

- Question

Official (Fan)Lore in the timeline:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hpFQEeLsAgpedVuWxcgUbcLsLZTShVxk02kICL9EZ3o/edit?usp=sharing

4000
• The Prime Shield on Rehia is formed, the horrors plaguing the plane are sealed above the sky. (0 AS)

(The Mending Era (4500 AR to Present))

4500
• The magic keeping up the Prime Shield breaks, the horrors trapped in the sky once again are loose on the plane. (5,000 AS, 0 SR)

~4510
• Peskirk and Matrum Ae create an artifact capable of keeping the Prime Shield up and seal it in Rehia’s Sun. Peskirk falls into a deep slumber, and Matrum Ae’s other form, Murnum Acen, splits from him, Matrum Ae also falls into a deep slumber. (100 SR, 0 NA)

Here is the link to the script:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hpFQEeLsAgpedVuWxcgUbcLsLZTShVxk02kICL9EZ3o/edit?usp=sharing