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Feedback on a custom made planeswalker card would be greatly appreciated!! ;)
Hello everyone! Nice to meet ya! Just joined this site and another one where you can make custom made MtG cards. Thought I should try to make a Planeswalker fitting the new Strixhaven College of Witherbloom as my first custom made card and this is how it turned out! Any good/useful feedback would be greatly appreciated. Is the card to strong or weak for its cost? Is there anything else with the card that bugs you? Does it feel like a good fit with the Witherbloom/Golgari colours? Thanks for taking your time reading this and posting your feedback on the card!
Comments
- In the first ability "Creature Token" isn't capitalized. Also, "the text:" isn't necessary. Just saying "creature token with 'When this creature dies, you gain 1 life'" works just fine. When using quotations, the period actually goes inside the quotations.
- In the second ability, I'm pretty sure it should say "You gain life equal to the destroyed creature's mana value." Also, it should be mana value, not converted mana cost (they actually changed it in Strixhaven).
- A few things on the last ability:
- The first and second abilities should be different sentences, especially since one is a static ability, and the other is a triggered ability.
- You did forget the quotation marks at the end. Remember, the quotation marks go after the period.
- Personally, I think the ability should only care about life gain. I don't think there were really any Witherbloom cards that cared about losing life.
https://forums.mtgcardsmith.com/discussion/3627/post-your-cards-here-actually-see-what-others-think/p104
Also, welcome to the forums!
On templating:
As mentioned above, there are a couple of small issues with how the card is worded. Feralitator already went through most of them, but here are the basics:
First ability: You need to add the colours of the token, make "creature token" lowcase and remove the "with the text" thingy.
- Create two 1/1 black and green Pest creature tokens with "When this creature dies, you gain 1 life."
Second ability: As already mentioned, converted mana cost is now called mana value. Watch out, there's a subtlety that even confused feralitator above, you actually got the correct wording otherwise, Feed the Swarm mentions "that permanent" because it can target two different kind of permanents and it probably makes it harder for the rules engine to determine what "it" is referring to. In your case, the ability can stay short:Third ability: As mentioned, you need to specify when you want the first part to trigger. I assume it's at the beginning of your end step? The second part is a static effect. As it does something distinct, it needs to be its own sentence. Caring about owning creatures is weird and unintuitive, you really should go with control instead.
On the card design:
The card's pattern is quite classical and follows most guidelines for planeswalker designs really well. However, you should stay aware that its play pattern is on the "very oppressive" side of things, it's even a bit borderline for 5 mana. The reason is that it creates two blockers with its +1, while having access to a removal ability, and also incidentally gaining you life. What this means is that it will be virtually impossible to take this planeswalker down by attacking it, and it will be extremely difficult to ignore it and try to race to the end of the game because of the life gain. Basically, this is a "answer me or I win the game by myself" type of planeswalker.
This planeswalker probably wouldn't be out of place at 6-mana where it's a little bit safer, though it's also a possibility to re-arrange its abilities depending on your design philosophy. It's in the direct lineage of cards like Liliana, Dreadhorde General, Garruk, Cursed Huntsman and Elspeth, Sun's Champion, so the question is whether you enjoy how those cards play out or not.
I do think the ultimate is a little awkward. Your main way of gaining life will be to sacrifice the Pest, which means you can't put +1/+1 counters on them. It's powerful but you really need to work for it to do something and I can see quite a few scenarios where it doesn't do anything. Because it's wordy and fiddly on top of that, I'd consider making something simpler. For instance:
https://forums.mtgcardsmith.com/discussion/3627/post-your-cards-here-actually-see-what-others-think/p104