Help me please. Need help wording and balancing a card.

L0NEvvolfL0NEvvolf
in Custom Card Discussion
The idea behind the card is that you may use it as an unsummon effect when desperate measures call.

Otherwise it has great upside so long as it never comes into play.

The card is meant to have strange interactions like the ability to avoid a wrath but at the cost of your hand.

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/approximate-inevitability

I need help with the wording as there is too little space to put what I wanted to write. Also is this balanced?

The following is how I would have worded it:

Suspend X - X Can be 0. When you cast Approximate Inevitability exile it with X time counters. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When has no time counters remaining, cast it without paying its mana cost.)
Whenever a time counter is removed from cast Approximate Inevitability while it’s exiled, draw two cards.

Discard your hand; for each card discarded this way return target permanent you control to its owner's hand.

{4}: Remove a time counter from Approximate Inevitability; any player may activate this ability.

Comments

  • PiffinatourPiffinatour
    I think, as it is, it's a potentially interesting and, I believe, balanced card. I like the potential downside of getting milled by an opponent who forces you to draw cards, then return permanents to your hand. It's a gamble, but it could potentially save your bacon from something like a field wipe.
  • CorwinnnCorwinnn
    I'm a fan of what Beeswax said, especially the part bout shortening the name to something more conducive to your text box dilemma,
  • stormbreathstormbreath
    thy need not "cast" as the name, thy only need what it must do.
  • L0NEvvolfL0NEvvolf
    Thank you all for the feedback, I will shorten the name and see if that helps.
  • mazerocmazeroc
    edited December 2015
    Suspend X - {X}{u}. X can't be 0.
    Whenever a time counter is removed from _____ while it's exiled, draw two cards.
    Discard your hand. Return a nonland permanent you control to its owner's hand for each card discarded this way.
    {3}: remove a time counter from _____. Any player may activate this ability.

    Suspend costs come after the dash not in the upper right corner, thats solely for the mana cost. No cards in Mtg use the semicolon. You don't want to bounce your lands. Putting the cost of the ability at {3} seemed more exciting. If you want this to be played as a draw engine, add a {u} to the suspend cost and make it a sorcery. The regular mana cost should be {1}{u} or left blank so they are forced to suspend it. I used the following cards for formatting: Oona's Prowler, One with Nothing, Decree of Pain, and Aeon Chronicler.
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