Assistance Correcting and Designing Set Mechanics.

At the moment I am working on a set and am trying to make the mechanics that should accompany it.
The story is that the realm is inhabited by the normal wildlife, but also strange creatures that are what could be described the product of tangible dreams. These creatures have a variety of strange mystical skills that they use to assist the inhabitants. In this world as there are creatures composed of the essence of dreams there are also those composed of nightmares. The main inhabitants of this realm though have forgotten about them and their existence has been lost to time as they were sealed away in an ancient dark lake for millennia untouched. That is until a renowned explorer happened to stumble across the lake and brake the seal that kept the nightmares contained. Now the nations of the realm are dealing with uprisings from cult followings believing these nightmare creatures to be their new gods and are seeing fighting from the creatures of dreams and nightmares forefront on their border. Only a few hopeful souls with their planes walker sparks ignited are seeking to end this chaos for good.

I was thinking of four main Keyword/Abilities

Transfix X (Tap up to X target creatures with the least converted mana
cost target opponent controls)

This is supposed to represent the horror and fear the nightmares bring to other creatures and acts as a stunning effect to allow for an easier way to swing through boards. This would only be present on the Nightmare(Horror) creatures as well. I am still debating to swap lowest CMC for toughness as I think that may be more suitable flavor wise.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Worship (You may tap this creature to have it worship target creature,
worshiping creatures do not untap until the worshiped creature leaves
the battlefield)

This ability would go primarily to the cult like followers worshiping the nightmares. I want to find a better way to write this mechanic and kinda tried to got with writing somewhat similar to soulbond. Essentially you tap Creature-A to give
Creature-B +X/X (The worship value), Then Creature-A will not untap and continually provide the bonus to Creature-B until Creature-B is destroyed. Any easier and more MTG correct way to write this would be appreciated.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Condemn X (Exile X cards from target opponents hand until this permanent leaves
the battlefield)

As with the cult there is an organization that works against them and this would be their main mechanic. There are mainly going to be Azorius so I didn't want them to discard cards so I thought the exiling is a good balance. The flavor being that there are condemning what they deem as black magics from being cast.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remnant (Remnant triggers if this creature was not sent to the graveyard by combat
damage)

This would go to the dream creatures which would all have the Illusion creature type and also the text "When this creature becomes the target of a spell, sacrifice it". This is to somewhat represent the magical trace they leave behind when destroyed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Other things to note

Nightmare Creatures-Sultai
Dream Creatures-Jeskai at the moments (most likely Ink-Treader)
Holy Warriors-Azorius
Cult Followers-Rakdos

Any assistance on making things more grammatically correct and flavorful would be appreciated, thank you :) .

Comments

  • -Transfix
    It's a little confusing. You want to tap a creature with 3 cmc, but you control a creature with 2 cmc. Then you can't use that ability?
    I think better wording is:
    Transfix X (Tap up to X creatures target opponent controls with the least converted mana cost among creatures that play controls.


    -Worship
    Cards like Tradewind Rider say "Tap two untapped creatures you control: ". I think worship mechanic should also say "if this creature is untapped, ". Otherwise it can worship infinite amount of creatures.

    My suggestions are
    Worship (If this creature is untapped, you may tap it and have it worship another creature when either enters the battlefield. This creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control that creature.)
    ..or..
    Worship {cost} ({cost}, {t}: This creature worships target creature. This creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control that creature.)

    -Condemn
    This seems like a WB effect. Correct wording is "Target opponent exiles X cards from their hand until ...."
    It's not a good mechanic against aggro that doesn't hold so many cards in hand. On the other hand it would be a real dagger against control.


    -Remnant
    I don't quite understand how that works. Can you show us an example?
  • Worship seems like it’s going to have memory issues. Perhaps using counters to signify they’re worshipped would help?
  • I think the nightmares should have red over green seeing as the cults follow them and typically when u think of nightmares u think bad ie red/black
  • edited May 2018
    Update-1

    @DoctorFro-
    I think I'll have nightmares be all but white and the dream creatures all but black.

    @Tomigon-Transfix
    I didn't think transfix was that confusing at least not compared to worship, which I think is the most complicated out of the ones I have. Heres the first main concept card I had for Transfix though if that helps get the flavor point across. Thanks for the grammatical fix though.

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/chasm-stalker

    Worship
    That is much better reminder text than what I had and thank you for that.

    Condemn
    I had the feeling that the idea of WB would come up, and I specifically aimed to be not in black for the effect. I though it was somewhat white for temporary exiling and somewhat blue for manipulation, but It doesn't completely diminish resources like black does with discard as you can always get said cards back by removing the permanent. I think it will stick Azorius until otherwise noted though I understand where you are coming from.

    Remnant
    Essentially remnant will be a spell like effect on a creature if it is not removed by combat, AKA you get a bonus if someone uses removal spells or board wipes on your creatures with remnant. This would only be put on the dream creatures(illusion) and they would have the text "When this creature becomes the target of a spell, sacrifice it" as well on the card or at least generally.

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/extending-shadow

    @Lujikul-I don't really think counters would make it more simplified at the moment. I am still thinking somewhat similar to soulbond mechanics.
  • @AmethystLynx you should ping people if you want to make sure that see the post
  • @AmethystLynx
    I saw your Extending Shadow and I was more confused. Remnant is put as an activated ability's cost. But the reminder says it's a triggered ability. And "If this creature isn't destroyed by combat damage" makes me think it should be just a static ability that affects for as long as it is on the battlefield.

    I'm not sure but maybe ability word is what you are looking for?

    Remnant - When this creature dies, if it wasn't dealt combat damage this turn, (effect..)

    Also "When this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it." is basically blue Illusion creature's ability.
  • edited May 2018
    @Tomigon

    Yes I know it is basically a blue illusion creature's ability, but I decided I would apply it to the majority of Illusions for this set.

    I mean again not amazing on card grammar yet so I may have set it up wrong. I don't think thats exactly what im going for though it is close. I think it would be

    *Remnant* - When this creature dies, if it wasn't destroyed by combat, (effect..)
    Is this mtg grammatically correct?
  • edited May 2018
    @AmethystLynx
    I've never seen cards that say "destroyed by combat".
    Creatures are destroyed by damage or effects that say "destroy". Check out the reminder text of indestructible. http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=442890
  • @Tomigon Well then would,
    When this creature dies, if it wasn't by combat, (effect..) work?
    The main key is I want the ability to trigger if this creature was destroyed by removal mainly to encourage a bit more aggro.
  • edited May 2018
    @AmethystLynx
    "dies by combat" isn't mtg wording neither.
    I think my first idea is the most simple..
    Remnant - When this creature dies, if it wasn't dealt combat damage this turn, (effect..)
  • @Tomigon-
    The thing is just that one scenario comes to mind with that wording, I imagine for instance that someone swings with a 1/1 and you block with a 5/5 creature with remnant and then your opponent uses removal on your 5/5. In that instance remnant would not trigger because is was dealt combat damage that turn. I want remnant to trigger if it was destroyed by anything that wasn't combat.
  • @AmethystLynx
    Your best option my be "When this creature dies, if it didn't have lethal damage..."
  • @Lujikul
    That sounds pretty good thanks.
This discussion has been closed.