A Wording Question

FyresisFyresis
in Custom Card Discussion
Hello MTGCS community.

First off I didn't know whether to put this is Custom Card Discussion or Off-topic Chat, so if this is wrong, I'm happy to change the location.

I'm looking for a bit of help/pointers on the wording on a custom card I'm working on. It's likely I could dig around the internet and find the answer myself but I'd rather ask the community and be sure.

The current iteration of the ability reads:
"At the beginning of your upkeep, target opponent loses 1 life for each life you have above your starting life total."
I've also considered:
"At the beginning of your upkeep, target opponent loses life equal to the amount of life you have above your starting life total."
But they both sound wrong and wordy in my head.

Any help with this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)

Comments

  • bnew07bnew07
    At the beginning of your upkeep, if your life total is greater than your starting life total, target opponent loses life equal to the difference.
  • FyresisFyresis
    Actually yeah that sounds right, not sure how I didn't think of that.
    Thanks @bnew07
    I'm not going to close this yet, but I think I'll stick with that
  • ElMagiciElMagici
    "At the beginning of your upkeep, if your current life is above your starting life total, target opponent loses life equal to the difference between them."

    So, it's just a simple math:

    Starting Life: 20
    Current Life: 25

    25 - 20 = 5
  • ElMagiciElMagici
    @bnew07 damn
  • FyresisFyresis
    @ElMagici yeah, the right idea, but bnew hit it spot on. Don't need to add unnecessary words etc. One of the reasons mine sounded too wordy in my mind was cause of the excess use of the word "life". But thanks for the input, the right idea.
  • ningyounkningyounk
    I believe bnew07 is right, the best way to do this is probably to refer to a difference ^^ I wouldn't change a word to what he proposed.
This discussion has been closed.