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Magus of the BLANK **Circuit Challenge** FINISHED
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Comments
-First, Magus of the Loam misses the point of Life from the Loam. One of the reasons why Life from the Loam is so good is because it is often paired with cards like Seismic Assault, Molten Vortex, or Borborygmos Enraged to always have 3 lands per turn to chuck at the opponent's face.
Your card is just way too slow mana intensive to make it work as it would in practice. 4 mana is a steep cost for only getting some lands back to hand. Since the Magus is a creature, you have to wait an entire turn after playing it to use it's ability. What this means is that you have to wait twice as long and pay 3 times the cost for the effect of a life from the loam. In it's current state, that means that the Magus probably just ends up being a Grizzly Bear with Dredge 3 most of the time.
I can see two ways to improve Magus of the Loam's design. First, I would recommend lowering it's activation cost from {3}{G} down to {1}{G}. This way, players are less likely to spend an entire turn's worth of mana activating this guy's abilities, and still have mana left over to, for example, activate their Molten Vortex. Second, I would remove the tap cost from the Magus and instead add an "activate this ability only once each turn" rider at the end of the aa. This way, you can play Magus of the Loam and use it's abilities all in the same turn.
-Second, I would change Magus of the Scripture's ability from "At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonartifact creatures, then exile all cards from all opponent's graveyards. Do this only once." to "At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonartifact creatures, then exile all cards from all opponent's graveyards. Sacrifice Magus of the Scriptures."
One of the hallmarks of the Saga cards is that they don't stick around for more than a couple of turns. After all, they're supposed to act out stories in real time instead of stay around forever. Right now, your magus has complicated wording and doesn't fit the spirit of what it is trying to emulate. This simple change makes the card feel a lot more like it's source material. Since you're forcing the player to sacrifice the creature now, it might be appropriate to drop the mana cost of the card from 4BBB to 2BBB or 3BB.
Don't think for a second that I'm saying your designs are bad. I wouldn't have spent the last 20 minutes writing this out if I thought these designs weren't good or interesting. I just think you're leaving a lot of design potential on the table with these cards as they are right now. These are just suggestions, do whatever you like with them. I think you could capture the spirit and play style of the originals a little better by making these changes.
My second and final entry, based on Frostwalk Bastion.
A cycle of five magi based on the Hours from Hour of Devastation.
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/magus-of-devastation?list=user
Based on: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430786
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/magus-of-eternity?list=user
Based on: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430725
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/magus-of-glory?list=user
Based on: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430754
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/magus-of-promise?list=user
Based on: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430809
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/magus-of-revelation?list=user
Based on: https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430704
I chose to do a cycle of the ELD legendary artifacts.
First entry/Original card
Based on this card:
And here are the original cards:
@Temurzoa Magi
@Lastjustice Dark Matter, Heroic
@TenebrisNemo Righteousness, Exquisite
@Tomigon Wildfire, Pox
@Fantastickill7 Reclamation, Enemy Colour Hate cycle
@benw Top
@EternalWolf88 Wrath and Damnation, Dust
@SpellPiper2213 Door
@zamshala Scales, Reset
@Xero Instant/Sorcery cycle
@KorandAngels Build
@Dizzydude Trial cycle
@Faiths_Guide Theros Legendary Artifact cycle,
@bnew07 Academy, Eye
@Revan Sword cycle, Amonkhet God cycle
@Mir-151414 Archive
@KrampisZman Shenanigans, History
@Nicolbolas Looting
@shadow123 Profit and Loss
@Tommia Enchantment/Sorcery cycle?, Wincon cycle
@TheWanderer Stolen Crowns, Frostwalk
@dvarris563 Chains, Anthem
@sanjaya666 incomplete enchantment cycle
(First two will be judged.)
@spookoops Vindication, Obedience, Eldraine Legendary Artifact cycle
(I'm going to judge the cycle rather than the two standalones if that's okay. I hope you'll agree it's your better work
@sorinjace Psychic Corrosion
@MonkeyPirate2002 Misfortune
@bigbadbooknerd DKA Curse cycle
(I know you couldn't complete it anyway due to missing green.)
Thank you everyone for participating. I will post the results within a week (hopefully)!