@JMGreer41 Wording, then feedback. Stuff in square brackets is notes, not part of the actual wording:
Enchant nonland permanent
Whenever enchanted permanent [no caps] becomes the target of a spell or becomes tapped, its controller loses 1 [number 1, not word "one"] life.
General wording notes that probably need specific pointing out are that "nonland" doesn't need that hyphen in the middle, and that the card should have the card type "Enchantment" rather than "Enchant permanent" unless you're going for some old-school vibes.
Now, other notes:
- The artist goes by VityaR83 over on DeviantArt.
- The name might changing, as the card doesn't really suggest an idol. Every idol in MTG has been an artifact (because they're statues) in some capacity.
- The card itself feels low-power. It costs a relatively significant amount of mana, and all you get in return is your opponent losing a few life. Its only real application might be against some sort of combo like Basalt Monolith, and that won't be giving you the chance to play your three-mana enchantment onto the Monolith. It isn't something you'd ever use in draft, and I don't think it's something you'd ever use in any other format either.
- I don't really get any sense of its purpose. This kind of links into the last point, but I can't actually envision what situation this was created to combat. I'd probably just be happier playing a Contaminated Ground or something.
- Changes you might enact to make it better (while keeping the same premise) could include lowering the cost a little, increasing the things the ability can work on, or perhaps increasing the life loss to two to make it feel more significant.
More mini-expansion cards, this time for the mad biomancers of the Simic. Give one or both a favorite and / or a useful comment, then post up to two cards for the same treatment.
@MemoryHead Humhornet is a little weak. You are probably going to want to keep the counters on your other creatures, because all this creature has is flying. Adaption Adept has a completely different problem. It is to powerful. You have a 2 mana, 2/2, with Evolve and another ability that both helps it quite a lot and other creatures you control. Also, it would be even more powerful if you have creatures with flash and the like, because you can instant speed give a creature with evolve hexproof, one to counter an opponent's spell, and two to put a counter on it. I might be just biased, because I don't personally like Evolve, but I wouldn't know. Here's my card:
@fire12 unless I'm mistaken, since there's no way to buff a creature in a graveyard I think the wording could either say 'each player loses 2 life' or you could clarify that the loss of life depends on how many copies of the card are in the graveyard. Otherwise it's very cool! A constant effect in the graveyard is strong but not too strong and it also might make you want to bring it back quicker depending on the state of the game.
My cards are inspired by the new Commander Legends spoilers and are built with EDH in mind:
Red doesn't get Enchantment destruction or hexproof. I'd suggest making it a 6/6, remove the Hexproof, and make it destroy Artifacts. Also, make it always give a buff, regardless of if the ability destroys something.
You need artist credit for Dalamia. I'd also remove the entire part about vigilance and having to be untapped to get the Wurm cost reduction, and add on a different second ability.
@LordTachanka123 Your card was commented on, the person who commented on it (@JMGreer41) accidentally put Casszero instead of you. Look at the last comment on the page before this one.
@QuetzalPali I have made a card that boosts the power of creatures in your graveyard. That is why Corpse of the Forgotten is worded that way.
Hexproof, reach, trample [that order, no need for any other than the first to be capitalised]
Whenever [not "when"] CARDNAME enters the battlefield or attacks, destroy target enchantment. If you do, other Wurm creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain hexproof [no cap needed] until end of turn.
Partner
As long as you control a Wurm, CARDNAME has vigilance. [Again, no need for cap]
As long as CARDNAME is untapped, Wurm spells you cast cost {2} less to cast and Wurm creatures you control enter the battlefield with your choice of a reach counter or a trample counter on them. [I've made a few mild function edits here so that it's just easier to work with]
Partner
And a little feedback:
- The artist for Dalamia's card is Jee-Hyung Lee.
- As Potato13 has already stated, enchantment removal is very definitively outside of red in the color pie, and so is hexproof. Since the card's basically centred around those two things, a significant overhaul might be needed.
- Again, Potato13 sounds about right on the subject of Dalmia. It's almost certainly best to just remove the conditions that must be fulfilled for both the cost reduction and the vigilance, since it's not a remotely aggressively-statted creature and so it'll be extremely rare to meet a situation where you want to attack with it, then want Wurms afterwards.
- I'd suggest that they be given "Partner with specific" instead of the generic "partner with any other". While Gourthun needs some changes and so I can't comment on how it'll turn out, Dalamia is clearly a bit too closely designed to the idea of working with the Wurm, rather than to fit into a far wider space as a normal "partner with any other" card probably should.
Next, a couple of cards on the Boros Legion. Only note needed here is that Ela (as referred to in the Swiftblade's name) is a character I intend to give a card in the future, so it probably shouldn't be considered a naming fool. Give on or both a favorite and / or a useful comment before posting up to two cards of your own.
@MemoryHead Ela's Swiftblade is pretty good. Doesn't have any real problems, though it might be a little powerful. Garrison Charge, on the other hand, is definitely too powerful. 2 mana for 2 1/1s with haste is uncommon or higher worthy. Especially if those are red and white. Then, you have another ability, which, while not powerful, is still pushing it over the line. I would suggest bumping up the rarity to rare. Here's my card:
@fire12 Totally agree that two mana for two 1/1 haste creatures and further upside is too good for uncommon, but I've got a suspicion that you've misread Garrison Charge's mana cost (or perhaps confused it with that of Ela's Swiftblade). It's a three-drop, not a two-drop.
@Fantastickill7 I like both of your cards quite a bit, the Vaganmor Twins are quite my style lol. At rare I'd consider even buffing up their toughness a little bit. I think Prayer of Protection's first effect's wording is a bit off, I'd try with "Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you this turn."
@QuetzalPali , cards are looking much better now. I only have a few issues:
1. Gourthun doesn't feel black in any way. 2. The phrase "Enters the battlefield..." and "Other attacking..." does not work well together; I'd suggest for it to just give other wurms +1/+1 and hexproof when it etb's or attacks without a need for the other Wurms to be attacking. 3. "Wurm creatures you control cost 2 less to cast." and "Whenever a Wurm creature etb's under your control, have it fight target creature you don't control." should have a space between them.
@Fantastickill7, @QuetzalPali, you both reposted slightly new versions of cards you have posted before. As far as I know, that isn't supposed to happen/not allowed on this thread.
@QuetzalPali Well, here we are again. Wording, then feedback:
Partner with OTHERCARDNAME ["Partner with" normally goes at the top, not the bottom]
Wurm spells you cast cost {2} less to cast.
Whenever a Wurm creature enters the battlefield under your control, it fights target creature you don't control.
Partner with OTHERCARDNAME ["Partner with" normally goes at the top, not the bottom]
Hexproof, reach, trample
Whenever CARDNAME enters the battlefield or attacks, destroy target enchantment, then other attacking Wurm creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain hexproof until end of turn. [I kind of doubt this needs the "attacking" part for the Wurms, to be honest. It just makes the entering trigger confusing]
And a point:
- Once again, Potato13's statements are correct. I won't bother repeating them, but I will elaborate on one: Gourthun doesn't seem black at all, but it also doesn't really seem red either. Everything that it does and all the keywords it has are just primarily green in the color pie. Not really sure what fix there is to this without making significant changes.
Sorry that there isn't more than that for feedback, there really isn't much to say.
@MemoryHead Lii is extremely powerful. You get an extra combat for three mana, then you sacrifice it. Or, another thing you could do is bounce it for the opponent's turn so they don't get the advantage of another combat, which might not even help them at all, if they are playing control or defensively. Che is also pretty powerful, but less so. With all goading cards I've seen, they goad either when they enter the battlefield, attack. or Grenzo. None of them are as powerful as this. You can literally play a one mana deathtouch creature as a guaranteed destroy spell, without having to risk one of your creatures or play another creature. This card, also, is extremely powerful in the late game to, when the opponent needs their creatures to block, because by that time, if the opponent is playing defensive, you aren't going to be able to safely attack with your creatures, and you have probably not got any goad when enters the battlefield cards in hand. I would say that at their current mana costs, they might be broken. I would at least up Lii's mana cost by 2. Here's my card:
@fire12 If I did so I did so unknowingly... I tend to not look back at past cards, also as long as they are a little different they do count as new cards just look at wizards, they change the power/toughness of a card but leave the abilities text and change the name and call it a new card.
@fire12 Your card has very cute flavour which is totally spot on for the little monster slowly growing. Perfect job there. It seems powerful but probably only for limited (maybe standard... I'm not a big standard player...). In a lifegain commander deck, Ajani's Pridemate doesn't have trample, which means it can be chump blocked for days. Pridemate keeps on scaling, though, whereas this is capped at (around) six counters and also only triggers once per turn and only if you gained life on your opponents turn, which is unusual. Still, it's an uncommon, so that's probably what you intended anyway. Presumably this is for a limited environment where there are a few good ways of gaining life on your opponent's turn. As a mechanic, Mighty seems a little too narrow. It's (sort of) the Ajani's pridemate ability, but with a little bit of graft thrown in. Then again, Afterlife is just Doomed Traveller: the Mechanic, so I suppose there's a precedent for it. All in all, it's a really cool, cute card. Though I just now read the name properly and realised the flavour is a little sad, too...
Kardon seems pretty strong, though that's a hefty cost for him. Six is a lot, especially for a card which provides no immediate value. If he had haste (tertiary in black) he'd be able to swing immediately and you wouldn't get blown out by a removal spell on your opponent's next turn. There's also the slight problem that his mechanics have a little anti-synergy (don't know if this was intended). He both wants your opponent to have two creatures, so he can force them to sac, and doesn't want them to have two creatures, so he can't be blocked. Maybe if he made the player discard cards if they couldn't sac creatures? The art's super cool and the name and flavour text work together to give this perfect impression of a sinister and cool villain(? I'm guessing here, maybe antihero?). Death's hammer is about as cool an epithet as you can get. Was the Eldraine set symbol a deliberate choice or just random? If it was, this is a really interesting character to exist on Eldraine. There were certainly some great zombies there and he'd fit in well as both a Zombie and a Knight.
Here's a pair of partners I created for a competition. They serve the Scarab and Locust gods respectively. Thoughts? I don't know why, but after I created them I couldn't help but imagine them as playful best buddies.
@Undead, can't say much other than that it's a great pairing of insects for an insect deck. (I hardly ever have anything helpful to say) Here is the edited version of my card. (Yes Eldraine was deliberate. Maybe this is more what you were thinking of? kardon-vhek-deaths-hammer-3
@fire12 Sorry about the repost! I didn't know that wasn't allowed, I just read the first post and then jumped right to where I could comment.
@Mir-151414 Now that's a super-strong Zombie! Maybe a little too strong for its cost even as a mythic-rare. Maybe just by having it start of as a 2/2?
So, to fix my previous reposting mistake, here's a new card. I used my own art for it though sadly I only wish I could paint all realistic like the pros do. https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/cynael-heavens-might
@fire12 Wait, are you sure that that's a rule? You're the only person I've ever seen invoking it in any way, and it isn't mentioned in any of the rule thingies / previous threads relating to this that I'm aware of (admittedly I have no idea how many of those exist, so it could be that I'm just ignorant of a load of stuff here).
@Undead, I edited it by making it have less power and toughness, because someone said that a 4/4 might be a bit too powerful. (I agree) In its current state do you think it would be a mythic or a rare?
@MemoryHead I saw others "invoking it," so I believe so. I may be wrong, though.
@QuetzalPali Cynael is way to powerful. Also wrongly worded. This card might not be able to be fixed, but it is worth a try. First of all, I would make it mythic rare and add three mana to its mana cost. You can literally cast it, then destroy all nonland permanents your opponents control with a fumigate. Or, if you don't have the mana, sack it, so your opponents can't turn their face down 2/2s up. It is currently a five mana wipe the entire board of all your opponents plus a 4/5 with flying, vigilance, and another ability. In addition to that, it is worded completely wrong.
"Whenever Cynael enters the battlefield, turn all nonland permanents your opponents control face down as morphs. The morph cost is equal to its mana cost."
I can't think of a better way to word it. I really am not sure if the changes I suggest will be enough. I would suggest, though, running your cards over by a friend before publishing them. What I suggest you do is maybe get rid of that last ability, make it cost at least 8 mana in total, and have it lose some toughness and power. Another option would be to make it instead of nonland permanents turned over, maybe make it just creatures and do all the other things suggested? If you do, you might want to make the cost 7. Also, great artwork! I do really like the creativity of the card, but it is to powerful in the state it is right now. The "pros" on this sight can probably word it better and help you more then I can.
MTG Cardsmith Community Forums
Comments
Whenever enchanted permanent [no caps] becomes the target of a spell or becomes tapped, its controller loses 1 [number 1, not word "one"] life.
Now, other notes:
- The artist goes by VityaR83 over on DeviantArt.
- The name might changing, as the card doesn't really suggest an idol. Every idol in MTG has been an artifact (because they're statues) in some capacity.
- The card itself feels low-power. It costs a relatively significant amount of mana, and all you get in return is your opponent losing a few life. Its only real application might be against some sort of combo like Basalt Monolith, and that won't be giving you the chance to play your three-mana enchantment onto the Monolith. It isn't something you'd ever use in draft, and I don't think it's something you'd ever use in any other format either.
- I don't really get any sense of its purpose. This kind of links into the last point, but I can't actually envision what situation this was created to combat. I'd probably just be happier playing a Contaminated Ground or something.
- Changes you might enact to make it better (while keeping the same premise) could include lowering the cost a little, increasing the things the ability can work on, or perhaps increasing the life loss to two to make it feel more significant.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
More mini-expansion cards, this time for the mad biomancers of the Simic. Give one or both a favorite and / or a useful comment, then post up to two cards for the same treatment.
My cards are inspired by the new Commander Legends spoilers and are built with EDH in mind:
@QuetzalPali I have made a card that boosts the power of creatures in your graveyard. That is why Corpse of the Forgotten is worded that way.
Whenever [not "when"] CARDNAME enters the battlefield or attacks, destroy target enchantment. If you do, other Wurm creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain hexproof [no cap needed] until end of turn.
Partner
As long as CARDNAME is untapped, Wurm spells you cast cost {2} less to cast and Wurm creatures you control enter the battlefield with your choice of a reach counter or a trample counter on them. [I've made a few mild function edits here so that it's just easier to work with]
Partner
- The artist for Dalamia's card is Jee-Hyung Lee.
- As Potato13 has already stated, enchantment removal is very definitively outside of red in the color pie, and so is hexproof. Since the card's basically centred around those two things, a significant overhaul might be needed.
- Again, Potato13 sounds about right on the subject of Dalmia. It's almost certainly best to just remove the conditions that must be fulfilled for both the cost reduction and the vigilance, since it's not a remotely aggressively-statted creature and so it'll be extremely rare to meet a situation where you want to attack with it, then want Wurms afterwards.
- I'd suggest that they be given "Partner with specific" instead of the generic "partner with any other". While Gourthun needs some changes and so I can't comment on how it'll turn out, Dalamia is clearly a bit too closely designed to the idea of working with the Wurm, rather than to fit into a far wider space as a normal "partner with any other" card probably should.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Next, a couple of cards on the Boros Legion. Only note needed here is that Ela (as referred to in the Swiftblade's name) is a character I intend to give a card in the future, so it probably shouldn't be considered a naming fool. Give on or both a favorite and / or a useful comment before posting up to two cards of your own.
I personally wouldn't include sorceries in the wild category. But otherwise cool card.
My cards, comment and/or leave a fav then post up to two of your own
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/vaganmor-twins
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/pray-for-your-enemies?list=user
I like both of your cards quite a bit, the Vaganmor Twins are quite my style lol. At rare I'd consider even buffing up their toughness a little bit.
I think Prayer of Protection's first effect's wording is a bit off, I'd try with "Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you this turn."
I fixed up my couple of cards as per feedback recieved, since it's a bit of a substantial change here they are:
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/gourthun-leyline-gorger
1. Gourthun doesn't feel black in any way.
2. The phrase "Enters the battlefield..." and "Other attacking..." does not work well together; I'd suggest for it to just give other wurms +1/+1 and hexproof when it etb's or attacks without a need for the other Wurms to be attacking.
3. "Wurm creatures you control cost 2 less to cast." and "Whenever a Wurm creature etb's under your control, have it fight target creature you don't control." should have a space between them.
Wurm spells you cast cost {2} less to cast.
Whenever a Wurm creature enters the battlefield under your control, it fights target creature you don't control.
Hexproof, reach, trample
Whenever CARDNAME enters the battlefield or attacks, destroy target enchantment, then other attacking Wurm creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain hexproof until end of turn. [I kind of doubt this needs the "attacking" part for the Wurms, to be honest. It just makes the entering trigger confusing]
- Once again, Potato13's statements are correct. I won't bother repeating them, but I will elaborate on one: Gourthun doesn't seem black at all, but it also doesn't really seem red either. Everything that it does and all the keywords it has are just primarily green in the color pie. Not really sure what fix there is to this without making significant changes.
Sorry that there isn't more than that for feedback, there really isn't much to say.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Next, a partner pair. Give one or both a favorite and / or a useful comment before posting up to two cards of your own.
If I did so I did so unknowingly... I tend to not look back at past cards, also as long as they are a little different they do count as new cards just look at wizards, they change the power/toughness of a card but leave the abilities text and change the name and call it a new card.
Hope you like. Thoughts?
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/kardon-vhek-deaths-hammer
As a mechanic, Mighty seems a little too narrow. It's (sort of) the Ajani's pridemate ability, but with a little bit of graft thrown in. Then again, Afterlife is just Doomed Traveller: the Mechanic, so I suppose there's a precedent for it. All in all, it's a really cool, cute card. Though I just now read the name properly and realised the flavour is a little sad, too...
Kardon seems pretty strong, though that's a hefty cost for him. Six is a lot, especially for a card which provides no immediate value. If he had haste (tertiary in black) he'd be able to swing immediately and you wouldn't get blown out by a removal spell on your opponent's next turn. There's also the slight problem that his mechanics have a little anti-synergy (don't know if this was intended). He both wants your opponent to have two creatures, so he can force them to sac, and doesn't want them to have two creatures, so he can't be blocked. Maybe if he made the player discard cards if they couldn't sac creatures?
The art's super cool and the name and flavour text work together to give this perfect impression of a sinister and cool villain(? I'm guessing here, maybe antihero?). Death's hammer is about as cool an epithet as you can get. Was the Eldraine set symbol a deliberate choice or just random? If it was, this is a really interesting character to exist on Eldraine. There were certainly some great zombies there and he'd fit in well as both a Zombie and a Knight.
Here is the edited version of my card. (Yes Eldraine was deliberate.
Maybe this is more what you were thinking of?
kardon-vhek-deaths-hammer-3
@Mir-151414 Now that's a super-strong Zombie! Maybe a little too strong for its cost even as a mythic-rare. Maybe just by having it start of as a 2/2?
So, to fix my previous reposting mistake, here's a new card. I used my own art for it though sadly I only wish I could paint all realistic like the pros do.
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/cynael-heavens-might
@QuetzalPali Cynael is way to powerful. Also wrongly worded. This card might not be able to be fixed, but it is worth a try. First of all, I would make it mythic rare and add three mana to its mana cost. You can literally cast it, then destroy all nonland permanents your opponents control with a fumigate. Or, if you don't have the mana, sack it, so your opponents can't turn their face down 2/2s up. It is currently a five mana wipe the entire board of all your opponents plus a 4/5 with flying, vigilance, and another ability. In addition to that, it is worded completely wrong.
"Whenever Cynael enters the battlefield, turn all nonland permanents your opponents control face down as morphs. The morph cost is equal to its mana cost."
I can't think of a better way to word it. I really am not sure if the changes I suggest will be enough. I would suggest, though, running your cards over by a friend before publishing them. What I suggest you do is maybe get rid of that last ability, make it cost at least 8 mana in total, and have it lose some toughness and power. Another option would be to make it instead of nonland permanents turned over, maybe make it just creatures and do all the other things suggested? If you do, you might want to make the cost 7. Also, great artwork! I do really like the creativity of the card, but it is to powerful in the state it is right now. The "pros" on this sight can probably word it better and help you more then I can.
Here's my card:
EDIT: also