@cadstar The first thing that strikes me about Cursemonger Locrian is it's unique and complex type line. Was there a reason why this specific combination of creature types was chosen? You don't often see cross-species combinations outside of Simic creatures. I ask mainly because the art doesn't really evoke either a Crocodile or a Bear.
You don't need to word Locrian's trigger as an ETB trigger, since the examples of Bramble Elemental and Brood Keeper exist. Also, as it's worded, it's completely irrelevant which player gets the initial Curse, since Locrian will trigger when a Curse is attached to any player. As a thought experiment, I think it would be interesting to only trigger Locrian if the Curse is attached to you. That way, players can't prevent the copy effect by giving themselves hexproof and it disincentivizes anyone else from cursing you. Finally, for efficiency's sake, don't be shy to use the term "enchanted player" and don't forget the "instead" for replacement effects.
Here's a possible rewording for Locrian: Whenever a nontoken Curse becomes attached to you, for each opponent, you create a token that's a copy of that Curse attached to that player.
Whenever a triggered ability of a Curse triggers, the enchanted player loses 1 life. If that Curse is attached to you, each other player loses 1 life instead.
@Jadefire thanks for the feedback. The creature types are because Locrian is a character from another project I’m working on and happens to be a crocodile/bear hybrid (otherwise I wouldn’t have put anything nearly as strange there). I’m currently working on commissioning art of him and his cousin Dorian to use on their cards (I might consult you about Dorian later since his cards are proving a lot tougher to come up with).
Thanks for reminding me about Brood Keeper and Bramble Elemental; I can't remember the last time I tried to mess with Auras matter effects. ?
Regarding your suggested rewording, the first paragraph looks good; the nontoken restriction can probably be dropped since who the initial curse got attached to is no longer a concern. I agree that having Locrian explicitly care about attaching curses to yourself is interesting; it's also very in character for him. The end of the second ability though isn't meant to be an 'instead,' it's intentional that everyone loses life when the curse is attached to you (though I suppose 'each player loses 1 life instead' would be more in line with how current players might expect that part to read).
To elaborate a bit on what Locrian is like in the other project, his theme is pervasive malice. He enjoys setting curses in an area to force people into something like a test of endurance, where the game doesn't end until either he collapses or everyone else does. It wouldn't be any fun if it was completely fair though (and he'd probably never stand a chance against a group), so he tilts things just a little bit in his favor with every curse he layers on. Not enough to notice at first, but enough for it to accumulate the longer the game goes on.
@cadstar369 Thanks for the explanation of the lore around Locrian and the intended asymmetry (but not really) of the second ability. I figured there had to be a good reason for the unusual creature types. Looking forward to seeing this hybrid Crocodile Bear art.
I had initially thought the same as you about eliminating the "nontoken" restriction after making Locrian only trigger when a Curse becomes attached to you, but I had to quickly take that back because in a game two Locrians will ping pong off each other indefinitely.
That's a super easy thing to miss. Before it was legendary, I had to be informed that two copies of Bloodstained Baroness set to opposite values created an infinite loop.
@TheKeefMan while both parts of Urza's Adventure are powerful, I can't see a deck wanting both the adventure and the land. It's also strange to put an adventure on a land because you can't cast lands (and thus can't play the land from exile after using the adventure).
Since the mana ability can currently generate redundant copies of itself, consider using "{t}: Add {c}{c}{c}. Activate only if you've cast an Adventure spell this turn."
~~~
I'd appreciate feedback on these cards:
In particular, I'm not happy with where the second ability of Dorian's Shepherd is currently at, and would appreciate suggestions for alternatives.
As with Locrian, Dorian's art is a placeholder. (More details above.)
Good work on the art, color choices and formatting. These cards look good and fit their colors well.
Almoner Dorian Dorian's ability 1 seems reasonable and flexible. The cap where it's no longer cost-effective in a two-player game is maybe X=4 or so, but when you've got 4 other creatures already, your board is pretty reasonable even without it.
Dorian's ability 2 only comes up in multiplayer games, Unless you specifically focus on boosting someone else's board, the lifegain isn't that effective, and you might leave yourself open to being betrayed and hit with the counters you placed. Very situational!
Ability 3 is the reason you want to play this in multiplayer game and relies heavily on synergies. You need cards that can make other players gain life.
Overall I'd say this is decent commander card, powerful with the right synergies. I'm not sure if it's powerful enough to be a mythic rare, but it depends heavily on whether you get those synergies going. I probably would only play this card as a commander.
Dorian's Shepherd
Here's one of those synergy cards. The symmetrical life gain can guarantee that you draw cards and make your creatures huge. However, the symmetrical life gain also means that it will be very difficult to actually kill your opponents directly. You need an alternate win condition, and Dorian is not that. Dorian has no way to guarantee damaging the opponent (trample, flying, etc), so winning by commander damage seems unlikely.
Therefore, the best choice would probably be an extra win condition effect based on a high life total, like Happily Ever After.
@Suleman ; As for the name, you can remove "The", if you want to keep adjectives. Otherwise, remove adjectives, because it's touching the mana cost...
Blue and red are only the colors that have ability to take control of permanents, I think black sometimes can do that, but I am unsure. Since it's permanently controlled, it should be 3WU rather than 3WW. Because red takes control of any permanent... Temporary.
As for wording, you can remove "Choose one", if it's not bulleted lists.
"Whenever Radiance enters the battlefield or attacks, profilerate or put a +1/+1 counter on target creature."
If second ability can be only triggered by that first ability, merge both each other into single ability.
"Whenever Radiance enters the battlefield or attacks, profilerate or put +1/+1 counter on target creature. For each creature you don't control, you may have it lose all abilities as long as its number of +1/+1 counters is greater than its base power. If you do, gain control of it."
Hmm… I see we are looking at a new Creator. I see the card balanced, except for a few issues.
For giving indestructible, you should decrease the p/t, at least to 3/3. It won’t be easily killed, anyway.
The last ability is not well redacted. It should say “whenever you cast a figure spell, you may pay {X}, where X is that spell mana cost. When you do, copy it. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost”. Otherwise, you could pay the ability more than once and you will create infinite tokens when creating a simple 1/1 figure, as tokens have CMC of 0.
@smax765 Whoops, I forget about that. I would go for nontoken Figure instead of Figure spell you cast. So he can copy off any Figure, even it's not under Creator's controller control.
@cadstar369 The contrast between Locrian and Dorian reminds me of Will and Rowan. They do quite opposite things and seem to have contrasting personalities: one takes something bad from your opponent for benefit and the other gives something good to your opponent for benefit. Kudos on trying to make use of Support and Bolster. Those are some underutilized mechanics.
For Dorian, as X gets larger, Support becomes worse and worse as a standalone effect compared to a straight anthem and prices you more into using it for its synergy with its other abilities, which is fine for the versatility but not great overall. Unfortunately, Support specifically disallows putting any of the +1/+1 counters on the creature that generates them, so you can't even buff Dorian to a 2/5 for 1GW. Aside from its own first ability, I can only see very limited interactions with cards in its colour identity that can repeatedly put "nonthreatening" counters on creatures your opponents control (Ideally not +1/+1 counters, ability counters, or -1/-1 counters so you don't strengthen your opponent's threats and you can continue putting counters on the same creature indefinitely). Aurification and Magnetic Web are just a few of those rare cards that will work with Dorian. I suppose reusable sources of proliferate would be fine as well.
I agree with Suleman that Dorian doesn't live up to mythic rare status based solely on what it does (if you look at the card on its own, it costs 3GW, permanently boosting an opponent's creatures by +1/+1 x3, and giving them 3 life to get a 1/4 with the benefits of a Food now and a Clue next turn-if it lives). It seems the first two abilites are there almost exclusively to serve the third (moreso with the second ability) because that's the real payoff you hope to get from it. Dorian is a cool concept but it just reads as asking for too much from you for too little delayed gain, even if the last ability applies to all opponents and is reusable. Unlike Kros, Defense Contractor, Dorian needs support to continue functioning after it enters the battlefield.
Dorian's Sheppard is a clever way to magnify the benefit of Dorian to maximum effect and gives you better control over triggering Dorian's third ability without having to pay as large a cost as giving permanent buffs to your opponents' creatures (E.g, with Food tokens or a Spike Feeder). Again, its power level doesn't justify mythic rarity, especially since this card also isn't self-sufficient, but requires outside support to be anything more than a collection of triggered abilities in waiting.
@Jadefire you're spot on with the intended contrast between the cousins; that's why I had such a hard time coming up with this draft of Dorian and his Shepherd. Where Locrian's theme of pervasive malice made it easy to go for Curses, Dorian is more about universal/unconditional benevolence (not quite sure which word fits better here), and I'm struggling to find a way to do that in an interesting fashion because playing proper grouphug (e.g. Kynaios and Tiro) tends to end up burning the player.
Dorian's mythic rarity is mostly to mirror Locrian, and while I would like to get him up to that level if possible (even if it means scrapping the majority of either him or the Shepherd), I'm not opposed to dropping him to rare. What do you think of Dorian in formats like Two-headed Giant or Emperor? More generally, would it be better to give him an effect along the lines of Gor Muldrak or Eriette to stop your opponent(s) from using Dorian's gifts against you in Commander and such?
For Dorian's Shepherd, I honestly had no idea what to do with the second ability. If I were to keep it in that realm, do you think it'd be reasonable to change the Bolster to Support or a more general counter spreading ability? I may also just give it lifelink since there's plenty of space for a keyword or two.
@Colby814225 I said it before and I will say it again.
You must give a feedback to at least one mostly recently card or earlier before you may submit a card for us to give a thought. I will not allow this slide through, so sorry but other people will give you a thought for it.
Ya know what. I will give a feedback, but know this. You may update your card, but you cannot resubmit it on Halloween Battle Mystery Card, because it can't be undone.
Funny enough, World Enchantment is ancient that is no longer used in MTG. Or am I wrong?
Either way, there is not much to say about this well balanced. After all, it enchants the world that EVERY creatures get this bonus, not just controller's creatures. Yet, there is a possible wording issue;
For instant and sorcery, it's fine. However, for an world enchantment, it should go;
"Whenever damage would be dealt to a creature, if it was dealt damage this turn, prevent all damage would be dealt to that creature this turn."
I may carried out away too far on this. Edit: Updated it.
@cadstar369 I think there are several ways you can go with Dorian to make its group hug more beneficial to you while retaining the appeal to keep it around for the other players. This can be done by making the effect not fully symmetrical, but skewing the effect in your favour (E.g., Demonstrate, Tempting Offer, Eiganjo Uprising, Curse of Bounty/Disturbance/Opulence/Verbosity/Vitality, Trade Secrets when used in 1v1). It can also be done by giving yourself protection from the benefits you give to other players (E.g., Gor Muldrak, Nils, Discipline Enforcer, The Second Doctor, Jon Irenicus, Shattered One, Kitt Kanto, Kros, Defense Contractor, The Rani). Finally, you can incentivize players to target someone other than you (Eg., Karazikar, the Eye Tyrant, Xantcha, Sleeper Agent).
I get the difficulty of trying to balance giving a benefit to your opponents. It has to be significant enough that it provides incentive to keep you around, but it can't be so large that you can't overcome it yourself if it comes down to just you and one opponent. I'm not a Commander player, but I'm guessing life gain isn't going to make that strong of a case for you in a format where you start with 40 life and commander damage can bypass any amount of life gain. In formats like 2HG and Emperor where you have teammates instead of just opponents, Dorian and the Shepherd definitely have more value, since you can "have your cake and eat it too" in those situations. However, even if you have both Dorian and the Shepherd out, after the Kicker trigger resolves they do nothing without outside support. Once you're in the territory of needing three cards to do something (at least two of which are specific cards), you might as well play a combo deck and assemble an infinite for the win.
One observation about the downside of Kynaios and Tiro's group hug is that the trigger happens at EOT, so your opponents all get a chance to use the extra card drawn off of it before you do. This could've easily been mitigated by moving the trigger to its controller's upkeep instead. I see something similar in Dorian. I get the waiting until your next upkeep to draw the card so that you can sum up any smaller amount of life gained over multiple turns to count towards the trigger, but the wait is just too long. If it triggered at the end of each player's turn, you could at least get the card the same turn you kicked Dorian and you can end up drawing more than one card off of any given player by the time your turn comes around again. For Dorian's Shepherd, I wouldn't be afraid to just go ahead and make a new type of counter that suits your purposes. It could be something that provides a real benefit but is consumable (E.g., Kros' shield counters) and/or it could be non-stackable (E.g., ability counters, Aven Mimeomancer's feather counters). These are just a few ways to tone down repeatedly giving out a significant bonus. Otherwise, you can go the protection route like Gor Muldrak or Eriette for Dorian.
Accelerating raged flame is a very useful card for storm decks, @FireOfGolden. Storm decks would use this card like a staple. It is useful on every noncreature deck. Maybe the way to balance the card is to copy only the card and not copying it twice.
@smax765 This card only copies itself rather than the casted instant or sorcery to trigger that ability.
And the card can get quickly out of control. If you have any creatures, they would be already dead after 5 instant and/or sorcery (63 damage total). Timing is critical for this.
What if I made it "This spell doesn't count toward storm.", would that makes it balanced?
You could change the wording to: “CARDNAME deals 1 damage to any target. Until end of turn, whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell that is not named as this spell, add this spell effect to that card”
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You don't need to word Locrian's trigger as an ETB trigger, since the examples of Bramble Elemental and Brood Keeper exist. Also, as it's worded, it's completely irrelevant which player gets the initial Curse, since Locrian will trigger when a Curse is attached to any player. As a thought experiment, I think it would be interesting to only trigger Locrian if the Curse is attached to you. That way, players can't prevent the copy effect by giving themselves hexproof and it disincentivizes anyone else from cursing you. Finally, for efficiency's sake, don't be shy to use the term "enchanted player" and don't forget the "instead" for replacement effects.
Here's a possible rewording for Locrian:
Whenever a nontoken Curse becomes attached to you, for each opponent, you create a token that's a copy of that Curse attached to that player.
Whenever a triggered ability of a Curse triggers, the enchanted player loses 1 life. If that Curse is attached to you, each other player loses 1 life instead.
My cardsmith version isnt as clean but its free of typos lol
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/urzas-adventure
Regarding your suggested rewording, the first paragraph looks good; the nontoken restriction can probably be dropped since who the initial curse got attached to is no longer a concern. I agree that having Locrian explicitly care about attaching curses to yourself is interesting; it's also very in character for him. The end of the second ability though isn't meant to be an 'instead,' it's intentional that everyone loses life when the curse is attached to you (though I suppose 'each player loses 1 life instead' would be more in line with how current players might expect that part to read).
To elaborate a bit on what Locrian is like in the other project, his theme is pervasive malice. He enjoys setting curses in an area to force people into something like a test of endurance, where the game doesn't end until either he collapses or everyone else does. It wouldn't be any fun if it was completely fair though (and he'd probably never stand a chance against a group), so he tilts things just a little bit in his favor with every curse he layers on. Not enough to notice at first, but enough for it to accumulate the longer the game goes on.
Updated version:
I had initially thought the same as you about eliminating the "nontoken" restriction after making Locrian only trigger when a Curse becomes attached to you, but I had to quickly take that back because in a game two Locrians will ping pong off each other indefinitely.
Since the mana ability can currently generate redundant copies of itself, consider using "{t}: Add {c}{c}{c}. Activate only if you've cast an Adventure spell this turn."
~~~
I'd appreciate feedback on these cards:
In particular, I'm not happy with where the second ability of Dorian's Shepherd is currently at, and would appreciate suggestions for alternatives.
As with Locrian, Dorian's art is a placeholder. (More details above.)
Dorian's ability 1 seems reasonable and flexible. The cap where it's no longer cost-effective in a two-player game is maybe X=4 or so, but when you've got 4 other creatures already, your board is pretty reasonable even without it.
As for the name, you can remove "The", if you want to keep adjectives. Otherwise, remove adjectives, because it's touching the mana cost...
Blue and red are only the colors that have ability to take control of permanents, I think black sometimes can do that, but I am unsure. Since it's permanently controlled, it should be 3WU rather than 3WW. Because red takes control of any permanent... Temporary.
As for wording, you can remove "Choose one", if it's not bulleted lists.
"Whenever Radiance enters the battlefield or attacks, profilerate or put a +1/+1 counter on target creature."
If second ability can be only triggered by that first ability, merge both each other into single ability.
"Whenever Radiance enters the battlefield or attacks, profilerate or put +1/+1 counter on target creature. For each creature you don't control, you may have it lose all abilities as long as its number of +1/+1 counters is greater than its base power. If you do, gain control of it."
I hope that helps!
I would like a feedback on this card
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/the-creator-36
Whoops, I forget about that. I would go for nontoken Figure instead of Figure spell you cast. So he can copy off any Figure, even it's not under Creator's controller control.
For Dorian, as X gets larger, Support becomes worse and worse as a standalone effect compared to a straight anthem and prices you more into using it for its synergy with its other abilities, which is fine for the versatility but not great overall. Unfortunately, Support specifically disallows putting any of the +1/+1 counters on the creature that generates them, so you can't even buff Dorian to a 2/5 for 1GW. Aside from its own first ability, I can only see very limited interactions with cards in its colour identity that can repeatedly put "nonthreatening" counters on creatures your opponents control (Ideally not +1/+1 counters, ability counters, or -1/-1 counters so you don't strengthen your opponent's threats and you can continue putting counters on the same creature indefinitely). Aurification and Magnetic Web are just a few of those rare cards that will work with Dorian. I suppose reusable sources of proliferate would be fine as well.
I agree with Suleman that Dorian doesn't live up to mythic rare status based solely on what it does (if you look at the card on its own, it costs 3GW, permanently boosting an opponent's creatures by +1/+1 x3, and giving them 3 life to get a 1/4 with the benefits of a Food now and a Clue next turn-if it lives). It seems the first two abilites are there almost exclusively to serve the third (moreso with the second ability) because that's the real payoff you hope to get from it. Dorian is a cool concept but it just reads as asking for too much from you for too little delayed gain, even if the last ability applies to all opponents and is reusable. Unlike Kros, Defense Contractor, Dorian needs support to continue functioning after it enters the battlefield.
Dorian's Sheppard is a clever way to magnify the benefit of Dorian to maximum effect and gives you better control over triggering Dorian's third ability without having to pay as large a cost as giving permanent buffs to your opponents' creatures (E.g, with Food tokens or a Spike Feeder). Again, its power level doesn't justify mythic rarity, especially since this card also isn't self-sufficient, but requires outside support to be anything more than a collection of triggered abilities in waiting.
Dorian's mythic rarity is mostly to mirror Locrian, and while I would like to get him up to that level if possible (even if it means scrapping the majority of either him or the Shepherd), I'm not opposed to dropping him to rare. What do you think of Dorian in formats like Two-headed Giant or Emperor? More generally, would it be better to give him an effect along the lines of Gor Muldrak or Eriette to stop your opponent(s) from using Dorian's gifts against you in Commander and such?
For Dorian's Shepherd, I honestly had no idea what to do with the second ability. If I were to keep it in that realm, do you think it'd be reasonable to change the Bolster to Support or a more general counter spreading ability? I may also just give it lifelink since there's plenty of space for a keyword or two.
FYI, The Creator isn't new, it just was there for long time before I include it to the set.
I sent him a message just now, so hopefully he'll stop
I said it before and I will say it again.
You must give a feedback to at least one mostly recently card or earlier before you may submit a card for us to give a thought. I will not allow this slide through, so sorry but other people will give you a thought for it.
Since they didn't listen me, I doubt that would be helpful.
this is my card:
Funny enough, I would like to give a feedback for ya, but I can't. After all, I am your judge, so. ?♂️
Funny enough, World Enchantment is ancient that is no longer used in MTG. Or am I wrong?
Either way, there is not much to say about this well balanced. After all, it enchants the world that EVERY creatures get this bonus, not just controller's creatures. Yet, there is a possible wording issue;
For instant and sorcery, it's fine. However, for an world enchantment, it should go;
"Whenever damage would be dealt to a creature, if it was dealt damage this turn, prevent all damage would be dealt to that creature this turn."
I may carried out away too far on this.
Edit: Updated it.
I get the difficulty of trying to balance giving a benefit to your opponents. It has to be significant enough that it provides incentive to keep you around, but it can't be so large that you can't overcome it yourself if it comes down to just you and one opponent. I'm not a Commander player, but I'm guessing life gain isn't going to make that strong of a case for you in a format where you start with 40 life and commander damage can bypass any amount of life gain. In formats like 2HG and Emperor where you have teammates instead of just opponents, Dorian and the Shepherd definitely have more value, since you can "have your cake and eat it too" in those situations. However, even if you have both Dorian and the Shepherd out, after the Kicker trigger resolves they do nothing without outside support. Once you're in the territory of needing three cards to do something (at least two of which are specific cards), you might as well play a combo deck and assemble an infinite for the win.
One observation about the downside of Kynaios and Tiro's group hug is that the trigger happens at EOT, so your opponents all get a chance to use the extra card drawn off of it before you do. This could've easily been mitigated by moving the trigger to its controller's upkeep instead. I see something similar in Dorian. I get the waiting until your next upkeep to draw the card so that you can sum up any smaller amount of life gained over multiple turns to count towards the trigger, but the wait is just too long. If it triggered at the end of each player's turn, you could at least get the card the same turn you kicked Dorian and you can end up drawing more than one card off of any given player by the time your turn comes around again. For Dorian's Shepherd, I wouldn't be afraid to just go ahead and make a new type of counter that suits your purposes. It could be something that provides a real benefit but is consumable (E.g., Kros' shield counters) and/or it could be non-stackable (E.g., ability counters, Aven Mimeomancer's feather counters). These are just a few ways to tone down repeatedly giving out a significant bonus. Otherwise, you can go the protection route like Gor Muldrak or Eriette for Dorian.
This are the cards I would like feedback on:
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/flurry-of-blows-28
https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/blooming-of-the-blood-rose
This card only copies itself rather than the casted instant or sorcery to trigger that ability.
And the card can get quickly out of control. If you have any creatures, they would be already dead after 5 instant and/or sorcery (63 damage total). Timing is critical for this.
What if I made it "This spell doesn't count toward storm.", would that makes it balanced?
“CARDNAME deals 1 damage to any target.
Until end of turn, whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell that is not named as this spell, add this spell effect to that card”
That seems too powerfully and can throw the balance off with right cards.