Unpackaged contest (CLOSED)

Ok, lets say wizards of the coast made a new un set called unpackaged. If so, what cards would be in it? That is up to you. Make a card that you think is funny and post it here. But remember, this is also a contest and i will be judging by August 31st.
here are some rules
Two submissions per person.
Make the cards balanced

this is what you will get if you win

First- I will follow you and favorite five cards of your choice.
Second-I will favorite 3 cards of your choice.
Third-I will favorite 2 cards of you choice.
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