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Worldbuilder #4 - Praag, a City Divided
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The citadel works in mysterious ways, yet they abide by the old laws of an old city. They really don't like all these newcomers meddling with it and will not abide any intrusion.
The warriors of Praag come from many distant places that they miss very deeply. Given the option, they would return to their former homes. War, however, has unyieldingly pushed them away, forcing them to take up residence in Praag. Unable to turn back and tired of going on, many citizens of Praag's "new town" fight for a permanent residence held aloft by those resistant to change.
An ancient horror creeps in the depths of Pragg's undergroumd, feasting of the bodies of the decesed, and giving birth to it's slimy children. It wants the war to continue, so his brood can infest the city.
Brandd is a follower of Jubilex, but secretly wishes to destroy the demon and take his place. He was formerly of Dalaria's court before going insane with visions and succumbing to Jubilex.
Short story:
Dalaria wasn't really a fan of books. But when it came to a book that could shape the reality itself with the whim of its reader, then the story was entrely different.
Once while she was travelling around the multiverse, she stumbled to a world where its gods were actually real and they were able to give boons to their followers. And she found it interesting.
'Knowledge is power', the phrase she always remembered from her mentor, who was also a planeswalker, while she was still new in the whole planeswalking business, although doing things to gain knowledge wasn't really her strong suit.
In the end, she finally managed to gain audience with the so proclaimed 'god of knowledge' of that world, who also looked like a mass of floating dark matters with a singular eye which has two interconnected irises in the center, and get rewarded with a mysterious tome with sewed leather as its cover due to completing some certain tasks given from the said god. Her natural talents and her strong magical capability also did help her very well by the tasks.
And she was amazed due to the capabilites of the written knowledge of that book. Spells beyond any mage or a normal planeswalker could accomplish of were some of the book's contents. For example, building a whole world in a whim, or just to destroy it, were one of the contents. There were even also instructions to do impossible tasks such as planeswalking for any magic-capable individuals, although the methods to accomplish it was morally very questionable. Many, if not all of the contents were morally questionable due to involving lots of bloodsheds and sacrifices. Although she wasn't capable to do many of those spells instantly, but given enough time and preparations, everything was possible, or so she thought.
Afraid to the possible loss of that book, she then hired an archivist to make copies for each written chapter of that book. The event was happened before Gauld, the Lord of Deals himself and even the conflict itself came in play, in her life, so she was unaware that the archivist also had stroke a deal with Gauld to give the demon a copy of a portion of the book, namely the part which involved of planeswalking and interplanar travel by using magical artifacts and how to make them, without knowing that the other, more interesting chapters were also exist.
Finally then Gauld came to her life, but still she was unaware about the copied part of her precious tome, for a long time.
But not until after an event that just recently happened...
Please shorten down that story please.
Like currently only a few cards make sense and are understandable and guess what, those are the ones that have at least a small story attached to them, adding to the flavor and impact of the card. Most former worldbuilders worked with the storytelling, can't you see that without it, we can just as well be making random cards? (points at his own last card to show how stupid that one is just because you ask us to reign in our own creativity.)
Goddamm it.
XD
Guys (@Credius & @sanjaya666 ), think it's important to realize whose discussion this is. If you guys want to tell stories (good/bad/indifferent), why don't you start your own discussion and concept around that?
So, does that mean what I did on the last Worldbuilder was a bad thing? Considering it died I thought I'd just try and wrap up the story as best I could before dropping it. Filling in gaps and making sense of the topsy-turvy, all over the place story. Connecting characters and such. Even if it was poorly executed on my part, I tried.
I'm sorry. My bad.
Sorry, I'm not that invested here. Your gonna have to try and redeem your thread as best you can, good luck!
(BTW, @Corwinnn is the best to go to for help, as I'm sure you know.)
http://forums.mtgcardsmith.com/discussion/3130/trimonia-three-planes-in-one
@Credius @sanjaya666 Faiths_Guide is right. The creator of the contest makes the rules. If you try to make your own rules then you're just being rude and unfair to them, even if you think their contest would be better your way. If you don't want to abide by other people's contest rules, then you should go make your own awesome contest.
@sanjaya666, @death_methods, @faiths_guide, @shadikal12345
Okay, so I get why there might be confusion about the contest rules, especially sisnce I dissapeared for a couple of days.
The main problem with the massive paragraphs is that they're really hard to read. When I'm glancing over all that's happened in these worldbuilder threads, I generally skim over these massive stories, or sometimes skip them altogether. The whole point of these contests are to create a world with other people, not write whole epics on your own. That whole story about the book of yours sanjaya, although, like @credius pointed out, the story telling is good, it could have been shortened down to a couple of sentences or at the very least a paragraph.
As you can see on the first ever worldbuilder, most descriptions were only a sentence or two long. Generally when somebody makes a huge long description, card production really slows.
So, @sanjaya666, please shorten down the story to that card. And there's no need for petty namecalling.
@faiths_guide Thanks for policing this thread.
Best of luck dude, but watch the language (doesn't help matters).
Sorry I was meant to * it out but forgot to.
Deleted.
Keep in mind they are easier to read for those looking at the thread. Otherwise, it makes it harder to join in. Same for multi-paragraph comments or those without headings.
We circumvented this before by having some very active particpiants, but we haven't been as active in the recent versions of the challenge.
Formats we've used in the past. Sometimes with paragraph headings as well.
http://forums.mtgcardsmith.com/discussion/comment/67257/#Comment_67257