Tournament of Champions 2 (The game has begun)

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  • edited April 18
    I will post one later tonight
  • Zintius looked at the huge Minotaur. He was surprised that the beast would come over to him, a weak, little, pathetic Vampire.
    "Hello." Zintius replied. He was unsure of how to interact with a Minotaur, as he assumed they were all huge meat-heads that relied on brute force. But he saw now he was wrong.
    "How are you, new friend?" Zintius asked.
  • @HeroKP

    Construct has some functionality flaw as is. Or maybe i just dont understand it completely.
    anyway heres what i manage to put together to make it more realistic without sacrificing too much of the original intention of your design.

    When a creature you control leaves the battelfield, you may pay {X} where X is half its mana cost rounded up. If you do, create a 1/1 blue Construct artifact creature token with your choice of Flying, Deathtouch, or Lifelink. Spend only blue or black mana on X.

    Whenever an artifact creature comes into play, each player gain 1 life.


    (MTG tends to use Each instead of All)

    might I suggest not making construct a keyword allowing for more flexibility when changing the ability in future forms. (maybe make bigger tokens or something)
    Complex and unique ability like this one shouldn't be a keyword unless repeated on multiple cards.

    Also since Construct is already an existing word in MTG (the creature type i mean) using Construct as a name might lead to confusion.

    I REALLY hope you dont take this personally and understand i just wish to help ^^. You are welcome to totally ignore my advice.
  • edited April 18
    @DoctorFro
    you can shorten his text box a tiny bit with this ruling.

    Menace, vigilance

    Whenever Koorir, Chief of the Pass deals combat to an opponent, you may look at the top four cards of your library and reveal a creature or land card from among them. If you reveal a land card put it onto the battlefield tapped, if you reveal a creature card put it into your hand. Put the rest (top, bottom, or grave ???) in any order.


    (Menace and vigilance should be in the opposite order and not capitalized according to semi-official MTG keyword order which can somewhat be found on Animus of predation.) http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=416817

    (You have to specify where the remaining cards go even if they go back on top because you would have to reorder them.)

    like the other comment i left ... dont take it personally. i like figuring out correct wording for funky mechanics and is partly why i enjoy mtg cardsmith firums so much. ^^ best of luck in this contest.

  • the other entries iv'e seen have mostly correct wording. so if anyone else wants my advice, feel free to ask me.
  • Is there anything "wrong" on mine?
  • Thank you @icyyou I will fix when I get the chance
  • edited April 18
    @baryonyx69

    Heres a correct wording for your entry. altought as it is, it is EXTREMELY strong for its cost. You might want to tone it down. this is not a contest for the most over powered card.

    Flying, vigilance, lifelink

    If a red source would deal damage to Zintius, Vampire Adept, it deals double that damage instead.
    If a spell or ability from a non red source would deal damage to to Zintius, Vampire Adept, it deals half that damage rounded up/down instead.

    {t}: Destroy target creature that was dealt damage this turn. Regenerate Zintius, Vampire Adept.


    (Keywords in succesion should not be capitalized and should be reordered as seen on Aerial Responder)
    http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=430541

    (Damage multiplication and mitigation should be better explained, you can see many example on real cards.)

    (took damage is normally said with dealt damage)
  • Ok, thanks. If only I could edit it right now...
  • With the amazing power of 5$ a month i can edit my cards as much as i want !!!

    Before i got premium, i would just entirely remake my cards from scratch.
  • @TenebrisNemo I made a fix to Koorir sadly I couldn’t fit the flavor text anymore
  • edited April 18
    @DoctorFro

    You migh have a tiny bit of room for flavor if you remove the ''of the cards'' form the last sentence as it is not required (you may look at mayael the anima for reference)
    http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=376407

    you may also remove the tapped clause if it allows for 1 less line of txt.

    And if you really want, you can also change the text to say When this creature deals combat damage. (this a a NECESSARY change that wizards havent made really yet and it really annoys me. some cards in history have their name in the txt box up to 3 times and it makes no sens.)
    (i could only find one card; apart from cards with agment; that use the term "this creature" instead of its card name)
    http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=414408

    also remove the capital letter from Vigilance, a serie of keyword need not to be capitalized ^^
  • Ikr K wish they would change it
  • (Guys, can we keep this card critique and seven word posts to a minimum? It feels like the thread's getting flooded with mostly irrelevant posts.)
  • edited April 18
    @shadow123 - You mean the sparkling powder which puts other beings to sleep? Tai is allowed to use it in the matches if she is able to carry it with her when she enters an arena. Just don't attack other contestants outside the tournament.

    The tournament staff will reveal the location of the tournament for the ones who have been chosen to fight in it. No one is guaranteed to enter the tournament, for there is a chance some of you may be knocked out so the number of competitors would be even.

    There is still almost two weeks left until the first preliminary deadline, so the only things your champions can do is to interact with other champions, with the staff (me), or simply wait.

    Edit: I agree with @Lujikul. If you want to critique other people's champions or want to personally speak with other cardsmiths, then do so in private messages.
  • @TenebrisNemo any chance I can make a second signature as long as it isn't too overpowered?
  • Because it is in my characters story
  • edited April 18
    @icyyou

    I appreciate the critique, and will not take it personally as you are asking me to. However, I do not think you understood my card correctly. Thank you for your feedback, but I think I will stick to my wording as it is (absolutely no offense meant).

    The construct thing I see, but here is an example: There are a number of Wolf type creatures, but there are still wolf tokens. I don't really see a reason why I couldn't make Construct tokens (once again, no offence)

    :)
  • @icyyou

    By the way, did your character enjoy the tea?
  • Is this still open?
  • @sanjaya666

    At the same time, in the dimension of the smithgods...

    The tournament was laid out on a table. Gods came by and joined in the fun. You placed a clay figure onto the mat, you had a contender.

    Suddenly, a dark figure approached the table. In a devilish voice he asked "can I still put forth a figure"

    "Ah, Sanjaya! Good to see you joining in with our amusing little game. Yes, you are allowed to place a figurine of your own so far" - said the great god of nerds Herokapi.

    The devilish figure smiled and rubbed his hands.
  • The familiar smell of leaves form her tribe forced a smile on the young druid's face. She had had this beverage many times but never outside or her land, that was the first time she ever heard of anyone with connection with the Hyro tribe.

    Despite her apparent lack of interest at first, Jazhara couldn't stop throwing glance at the man she had just met.

    ( I meant having CONSTRUCT be the name of an ability, not the token. some cards already produce construct tokens.)
  • ( @pjbear2005 - The limit of 1st stage's signature cards is 1, so no. However, you are allowed to edit and/or switch your current signature card for something else.

    Everyone is also allowed to post cards alongside their stories, if the cards are connected to the lore. These cards could help in storytelling and may increase your character's influence even further.

    Though I would advice you to save your stories and cards until you've reached the home of the tournaments. You may use them there to gain crowd support as well.

    @sanjaya666 - Let me check... *looks at the title*

    Yep, still open. )
  • edited April 21
    image

    A former mage who sacrifices his life of wizardry to become the Steward to the royal family of Stahlthrone. Now, however, he grows bored of this bureaucratic role, and to exacerbate matters things have been a bit chilly between him and the king lately, with the king feeling threatened by his presence, thinking he will claim the throne for his own. So, he is looking for some adventure and a return to spellslinging. He came across a flyer announcing this tournament, and saw it as the perfect opportunity to get away. He has been missing from Stahlthrone ever since.

    image

    Here is Vir's signature card. The art depicts a younger Vir from his wizarding days, well over a century ago (Vir is quite old, but ages slowly like many mages, although the burden of helping run the kingdom has taken its toll). Mechanically, it represents him slowly returning to the life he once had, although he no longer remembers much and finds it difficult to recall his past (hence the exiled cards are kept a mystery from you and the draw is random). The flashback is also indicative of this and synergises well with his cost reduction.
  • edited May 9
    @HeroKP

    "I see..."

    I stroked my nonexistent beard. A devil didn't have to have a beard to be charming, to be honest.

    ...Nevermind.

    "Well then, let me pull out and send in a champion that once carved such a history in the Dominaria then."

    I paused.

    "So, let the story begin."

    ---- ][ ----

    Prologue

    All was once well before.

    The Order was in her control, the Order was hers.

    Even she erected an empire out of it. And it flourished in its dark glory.

    But it was just a story that lost in the wind of history.

    'If it weren't due to the intervention of those pretentious Farrelites, Sarpadia would be mine.' She thought bitterly while was walking in a sort of city she couldn't recognize.

    And she had no idea where she was. All she known that she was somehow woke up in a dark forest.

    As a walking corpse.

    Although that, it actually didn't really bother her due her condition wasn't half as bad as a fresh corpse, with only a slight deformation of course.

    So she had to remain hidden under a gray cloak and manly clothing she freshly stole from a shop before. A corpse also laid hidden in that shop, decayed and withered. Its life force was absorbed away by its perpetrator.

    'Doesn't matter. I still have my magic after all.' She smirked while was still walking in the bustling street of the city the name she didn't really bother to ask.

    In the end, she saw a sort arena and stopped.

    She smirked again.

    "Hello, my good sir." She asked a random stranger while putting her best effort to smile.

    "Yes?" Answered the bearded civilian, the act interrupted his current work of pushing his cabbage-filled cart.

    "What sort of event is happened here actually?"

    "Ah, you see it's actually the time for another championship. Every year there is always a joyous tournament to be hold. You come from outside the city, right?"

    "That's correct." She smiled.

    "Hmm..." The man stroked his chin. "Do you have the intention to join the tournament, my dear?"

    "Well... I suppose I will."

    "In that case, good luck then." The bearded person smiled, then continued to push his cabbage cart to another location.

    She waved a goodbye and closed her eyes for a while.

    'This makes things a whole lot more interesting.' She smirked darkly and continued to proceed to walk in the designated audition hall. 'Good that I could read the words too although this is clearly a strange land. And this tournament shall be a great start for seeking powerful warriors and wizards.'

    Tourach has returned, and the new Order will later follow.

    Lol.
  • edited April 18
    (And yes I know that Tourach was once a man in the canon. But this isn't canon anyway lol.)
  • (Fixed my card due to it feels a bit too OP.)
  • @TenebrisNemo It is more lore based but it doesn't come into the story of the character until a little later
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