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  • edited January 2022
    @ShadowReign I saw this card earlier on cardsmith, I think it's great! I think it's well balanced, although one thing I might possibly change is just to say "Whenever a creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card." Very minor, the card would be fine either way, but if you have the option, it can save lots of discarding at the end of turn. Again, great card, I'd appreciate thoughts on these two:

  • edited January 2022
    @CrimsonFox
    I think that this is overall pretty good. The effects, body, and costing seem to be pretty balanced overall. The changes I would suggest would to be to get rid of the goad ability (its not in those colors), put the +3/+3 option down to +2/+2, and to make the sacrificing ability cost {1}. The reasons for this is because; goad isn't in white or black, having the sacrifice be +3/+3 is too good, and because without a cost the sacrificing ability is too easy to abuse. This card seems very similar to Fleshtaker from Midnight Hunt and I took a lot of the balancing ideas from that. 

    Here are my cards:

    Verdant Ritual
    This one is a colorshifted version of Dark Ritual, and I would've put this in Planar Chaos but that set symbol isn't available. 

    Interplanar Lawman
    I made this for a concept of nonlegendary, full text planeswalkers. It always bothered me that planeswalkers had these extended art frames and these symbols for the loyalty abilities, so I decided to make a version where its all written out and had a normal frame. It pleases me. The flavor for this is that there is a relatively small (maybe like 10-15) group of planeswalkers who travel from plane to plane and keep the law. They are less powerful then their legend counterparts, but they still do work.


  • These are in my figure sets and I provided the New Life definition. Inkling are similar as zombie slivers. What do ya guys think of this?

  • Oh boy, oh boy. Everyone's favorite color- The blue! How unfortunately for people who favored the traditional way of blue, it is not about the counter spells. In figure set, blue group will be mostly about making illusions stronger and stronger at beginning turn, but they are also very, very vulnerable to the damage or spells.
  • edited February 2022
    @FireOfGolden
    You need to first give feedback to the most recently posted card, and you can only post one card (there are some exceptions) before someone else gives feedback to your cards. Its a chain of "feedback, card" "feedback, card".
  • ahh I see. Let me...
  • @SPyBondPlays
    • For Verdant Ritual, green really doesn't need this kind of effect, and I think it's hard to justify, unlike existing colorshifted cards.
    • Interplanar Lawman looks pretty well done. The only thing of note to me is that the sorcery speed restriction was left off, so the abilities can be used at instant speed, which makes the card significantly more useful.
    @FireOfGolden
    • For the Inklings, I'm fairly certain New Life doesn't function properly. State based actions don't use the stack, so since New Life is a triggered ability but not a replacement ability, the creature would die before you could do anything about it (even if the New Life trigger kept the creature from leaving the battlefield in order to facilitate the choice it wants to present, it would immediately meet the condition again via the checking of state-based actions, creating an infinite loop of triggers and thus a draw). If you intend for it to be a protection effect, I would suggest something similar to Regenerate, such as: "(Sacrifice a creature: The next time this creature would be destroyed this turn, it isn’t. Instead tap it and it gains indestructible until end of turn.)" However, this still feels like there's some problematic interactions waiting to happen (e.g. the existing board wipes designed to counter indestructible wouldn't work against creatures with New Life). Additionally, the flavor of New Life seems pretty weird; you're sacrificing a creature to preserve the life of another, so why is it called 'New' Life?
    • The Illusion creatures stack power/toughness even better than Slivers do, and effects like Lord of the Unreal and Spiritual Asylum make it very difficult for your opponent to do much of anything about them without a board wipe. They're also so cheap that you can play as many as you'd like the turn after the board gets wiped, so even that isn't very effective.
    • For Noelle, there's some big wording issues here, so I'm going to make some assumptions about the abilities. The first ability is fairly blue-red, as it's similar to effects like Vadrik, Astral Archmage and Maelstrom Muse. Limiting it to only Sorceries makes it lean toward the red side of these effects (see Anarchist vs Scrivener). For the second ability, X is undefined, so I will assume it is also Noelle's power. What is the flavor of this ability meant to be? If the creature is meant to become a frozen statue (hence the token creation), then the ability should probably exile the creature instead of destroying it. Additionally, I don't quite understand why slaying the creature with this ability makes Noelle stronger, but it is slightly reminiscent of older Vampire cards and such, so there's no color break here.
    • For Grave of Snow, you might be able to get away with lowering the mana cost a bit, since it's a Legendary Sorcery that replaces the target's creatures instead of just killing them. Once again though, if the creatures are meant to be permanently frozen, then perhaps this should exile them instead (in which case the mana cost is maybe good where it is).
    I'd appreciate thoughts on this card:
    Radomov Hybrid Captain

    For additional context, Radomov is part of this story.
  • @cadstar369, nice! Love the story, did you write it? Radomov is a very nice card. The recurring buff of Graft is quite clever. I think it's well balanced, and the context of the story allows me to appreciate it even more, well done!

    Hold up a mo', while I find a card to get feedback on
  • 'Ere we go:

    What do you think?
  • @CrimsonFox I did indeed write that story. :)

    Abilities & Flavor – Night-Blade Faction looks like a fun way to enable many of the older Kamigawa cards that want you to have lots of cards in hand, particularly more than 7 (or however many your opponents have). 6 mana feels like a lot though, since you only draw cards when your commander is around (which means you can't readily use it for ninjutsu). Maybe you can get any with {3}{u}{b}?

    Wording – Based on these cards, the first ability should probably read "You may pay {0} rather than pay the ninjutsu cost of the first ninjutsu ability you activate each turn." Also, since ninjutsu is an ability activated in your hand, you aren't activating the ability of a permanent. Thus the second ability should say "whenever you activate a Ninjutsu ability, if you control your commander, you may draw a card." (using Satoru Umezawa as reference for the trigger, and these for the intervening 'if' clause)

    I'd appreciate thoughts on this card:
    Blossoming Hope

  • edited February 2022
    @cadstar369, I wanted to write "activate only as a sorcery" but there wasn't enough room, so I just left that off. 
  • edited February 2022
    @cadstar369 i like the idea of the card especially fateful hour havent seen much of them you know  i think its a nic card that could really be nice to pump all of your mana into if you are running out of resources and are about o lose and by yourself smemore time but if not you could just use it as a revitalize  my only problem with it is that the fateful hour cost should be 3 white not 2 and could prob draw you four but it is a great idea and best of all WHITE CARD DRAW!!!

    here is my card i would very much like feed back 



    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/kore-clanvalley-leader-2

  • edited February 2022
    @Titanium000 This seems like a very well balanced and interesting card. It also reminds me of one of my card (which can be found below ↓). Let's dig into it:
    Kore fits his colors very well, so nice job on that. He's a very nice Giant tribal card with some nice versatility. I feel like the first mode should be "Kore deals 3 damage to target creature.", cause otherwise it's super strong, maybe even broken. There are few issues with the wording, but I know that text limitations can be a factor, and a challenge to get around. But this should work, though you don't have to use this first mode if you wish not to. (Can be copy/pasted)

    Kore, Clanvalley Leader costs {1} less to cast for 
    each Giant you control.
    Whenever you cast a Giant spell, or Kore enters
    the battlefield from the command zone, or Kore 
    attacks with another Giant, choose one {line}
    {bull} Kore deals 3 damage to target creature.
    {bull} Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you 
    control.
    {bull} You gain 3 life.
    {bull} Draw a card.

    Anyways, this is a really nice card, and I really like it! 👍
    Below is the card that Kore reminds me of, which I would like thoughts on please, ↓.
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/lortharon-prodigal-titan?list=set&set=60962

  • @ShadowReign thx for the input i may do that except im not no prime member or whatever so i would have to delete it and do it again but i like that 3 damage to target creature but i may make it 2 so thx for the input and while im here here is what i think of yur card...i love the idea there is no downside to this and it helps your opponents and they may be able to draw their wincon and i find that a bit of a downside but with that 3 +1/+1 counter it makes it ok and that last ability is awesome but i wish it said opponents because it can be abused that way for so much lifegain from your own hand it would make oloro seem sad but very nice card nd i like how it is a giant and that you were right they are "similar" because we both thought of draw counters and life gain for it. so overall i will give the card 6/10 for originality. as you caa see i like giants and aegar is the only giant tribal commander but my playgroup said i could do a custom one and your input was helful so thx again i really like your card it is super nice idea for "group hug"

    welp here my card



    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/chogu-progenitor-of-mydro

    Chugo is from a plane i call Mydro, it is a plane mostly dominated by fungi or myconids and chugo was one of the first but the only one still alive he is like a god to all of the myconids and when he walks spores fall of him and turn into myconids within some time hence why he is called the progenitor he is solely responsible for alot of the myconid race and is willing to lay down his life to protect them he does not ask for glory or for praise he just wants to see his race ensure evn with the war going on about who the Spore King each kingdom respects him and doesnt fight in his presence...
  • @ShadowReign Lortharon feels very odd to me.
    • I'm not sure tripling +1/+1 counters is worth giving your opponents 3 cards per creature you triple the placement on, since it makes mass counter placement absolutely horrendous (e.g. Travel Preparations would draw your opponents 6 cards if you accepted both Lortharon triggers). Perhaps that is balanced by how absurd effects like Hydra's Growth become; I don't play or see this kind of strategy often.
    • It feels like Lortharon is a RG creature with a WU ability. Each of your Elder Giants are guilty of this to some degree (it can't really be helped with 4-color cards), but it's a cycle so I understand the shared structure, and it does both look pretty and also work to justify the cycle being rares.
    • Two vastly divergent forms of this deck come to mind: 1) A Voltron build that focuses on turning 2x effects like Hyrda's Growth into 6x effects, swiftly crushing your foes with commander damage. 2) A grouphug token deck that wants to place as many counters on as many creatures as possible as often as possible, to then make your opponents deck out via Lortharon's card draw 'downside'. It helps that Lortharon's activated ability gains you life, which triggers a plethora of effects in white that place +1/+1 counters. (Playing Enduring Scalelord + a Clone/Copy effect makes a compact form of this strategy.)
    • The variety of ways one can use Lortharon due to the card seeming to not really know what it wants to do makes it the most interesting card in the cycle for me.
    @Titanium000
    • Chogu is very weak for a Mythic Rare. Archetypal Fungus creatures revolve around Saprolings; the ones using spore counters in particular want to turn those counters into Saprolings, then sacrifice them for various effects. Fungus creatures don't tend to care about other Fungus creatures except for the spreading of spores; when combined with the overall lackluster ability Chogu grants, there's almost no reason to save up enough spore counters to use it.
    • Additionally, why is this card blue? There's a single blue Fungus (which is not great), and neither the card's abilities nor the additional background provided justify it being blue (i.e. this card would make just as much sense if it cost {3}{b}{g}). Do you intend to explore a design space with blue Fungus creatures?

    I'd appreciate thoughts on this pair (see this for additional context):
    Raeza Photocryst Photon Array

  • @ well thx for the feedback im remaking him and going to explain where i was going with at it too then
  • edited February 2022
    @cadstar369 Raeza - It's ability to stun creatures when an enchantment deals damage is neat and obviously combos with Photon Array, but enchantment damage is pretty niche.  The handful of enchantments that can deal damage usually sacs a creature or itself so ideally you'd want to use it to kill and finish off creatures so you don't lose card advantage. However Raeza does open the option to create openings for attacks and stalls, more tactics is always appreciated.  On it's own though for 3 colours a 1/2 aren't stellar stats maybe 1/3 since it's pretty defensive.  It's can be an interesting build around to try and maximize it's effect, but the card pool is limited.
    Photon Array - It is quite strong since it is repeatable damage that only cost mana, unlike most of the other enchantments that can deal damage. On it's own it threatens to snipe all small creatures and can be used to finish off big creatures after combat.  Having it land on turn one is a major disruption to your opponent with just threat alone.  It should at least be {2}{r} to activate or give it a condition on when it can activate if you want to keep it {1}{r}.
    I read the lore a bit and I see where your coming from, blinding creatures with light to stun them. But I feel in practice you'll be killing creatures with Photon Ray rather than stunning them.
    Here is mine

    Meant to be built around white's oblivion ring effects
    Wording might be a bit off I think.

  • @Sweda i like the card idea but i think the mana cost is too little it should be 3 or 4 imo because all someone would have to do is play seal away and then destroy it themselves and if they cant the opponent wont because the creature would have racked up so many counters on it that they would be force to destroy this and then their creature still exiled or the whole table is gonna target you just for playing this cuz no one likes their cards stolen. 

    anywhoo here my card and i took some advice and altered it.



    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/chogu-progenitor-of-mydro-1

    so fungus are one of m fav tribes and i was thinking since they all spawn off each other why not make an elder one who does exactly that as his bullet point choices you get one thing or the other and i took out blue because i wa pointed out it didnt make sense and i agree now some would say that spore counters are only good at 3 but this can double the rewards or just give you a free shuffle. i personally think its good but i dont really know if it would be broken like another thing i would like is your thoughts on if you were playing edh and someone said they are playing this card just pretend its a real card or whatever would you be okey with it like its a kadena or obuun power level or do you think it ould be busted like kenrith. my playgroup is ok with custom commanders and they said thier fine with it but i really like it and im pretty good at conivincing randoms that rule zero isnt bad so what would yll think
  • edited February 2022
    @Sweda
    That's pretty strong. I would put it at 2W instead and make it so it only triggers at the end of your tun. Also, I think that this card is a very "feel bad" card, because you Conclave Tribunal for example some threat that your opponent controls and then you can destroy that enchantment to be able to steal their creature. Here's my take on it. 


    Enchantment
    If a creature would enter the battlefield from exile it enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it.

    This way, it rewards you for casting cards from other zones and synergies with flicker effects. It also dissuades your opponents from using oblivion ring-like cards on your creatures. 

  • edited February 2022
    @Sweda
    • I've made both changes you suggested (leaving the images the same for continuity). Initially I was against changing Photon Array since {2}{r} felt like a lot of mana to spend on 1 damage, especially since you can't point it at players. Then I thought about how many powerful X/2 creatures there are (I play lots of Talrand on Arena for example), and realized how awful it could be to see someone drop this at any point in the game (since its 1 mana), even for decks that don't run many creatures. Additionally, people seem to play nonartifact/noncreature removal very infrequently, so Photon Array is very likely to sit around doing its thing for the entire game, in which case I don't want it to be a strong offensive tool.
    • With regards to Taken for Compleation, I think triggering during each end step is too much. As you mentioned, white has access to a variety of Oblivion Ring effects, and rather than destroying them as others have commented above, I think the real terror is when used in combination with cards like Light the Way and You're Ambushed on the Road, which turns those effects into delayed Control Magic. Speaking of Control Magic, blue has a huge amount of support in this vein, particularly Shimmerwing Chimera, but also cards like Aether Tradewinds.<> Leaving alone how powerful this would be in formats like Commander (steal any creature with mana value 4 or less in one rotation), this would allow control decks a very handy way of dealing with creatures that can't be countered (as well as things that slip through your contermagic) in a way that most decks can't deal with easily. If it only triggered during your end step, it would still be a powerful effect, since white has lots of this kind of effect available to lock down your opponent with.
    • Overall, I like Taken for Compleation, but believe the counters will stack up too quickly. If you want to keep the trigger on each end step though, then I'd suggest raising the mana value by at least 2, likely including at least one more {w}.
    • Wording Notes: The first ability should say "creature card" instead of just creature (using these cards for reference). The second should be perhaps be along the lines of "If a creature card with more compleation counters on it than its mana value would be put onto the battlefield, put it onto the battlefield under your control intstead. It is a Phyrexian in addition to its other types." (these are the closest references I can find, but they aren't too close to what this is going for)
    @Titanium000
    • I like this version much better. Reasonably strong when combined with counter multipliers like Doubling Season. I still don't think it's worthy of mythic rarity though. The body is average for its mana value, and the effect is slow and not particularly powerful; this should probably be a rare.
    I'd appreciate thoughts on this card:
    Dazzling Glare
  • edited February 2022
    @Titanium000 I actually though this should be {w}, the way I see it, it's completely useless on it's own and for it to pay off you need to: play an oblivion ring effect, wait several turns (less in multiplayer), somehow remove the oblivion ring and not have this be destroy before any of this happens. I think it gives enough time and there are enough hoops you jump through and proper deck synergy to justify the pay off of turning white's soft removal into a more permanent one.  It of course works faster in multiplayer and can even take advantage of other people's oblivion rings but that's part of the fun.
    @SPyBondPlays Initially it was end of your turn but I felt it was too slow and you'll get the pay off too late if at all.  To steal say a 5CMC creature would take 6 turns, the game might be over by then or they would have a proper response. To steal small creatures you you need to see if it is even worth it to invest the cards and mana to cast oblivion ring effect + it's removal. Your version would not fit the flavour of what I had in mind, which was a card to syngerize with white's oblivion ring effects (abducting creature, brainwash them).
    @cadstar369 Yeah, I've considered flickering and bouncing your own oblivion rings, I'm rolling that into "Deck synergy".  I can slow down the counters by changing it to only adding 2 counters on your own end step so it remains the same speed in 1v1 and slower in commander.
    Honestly I think the cost to cast isn't all that important for a card like this, the main payoff comes from time and other cards you play, is it anymore powerful on turn 1 than on turn 4?
    Thank you for everyone's feedback 

  • @cadstar369 Very interesting. It definitely shouldn't be common, but that's not really relevant. I don't think the top ability is worded right since it doesn't explain what creature blocks it. 
    Mine: 

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/superior-will-4 
  • @KorandAngels see these cards for precedent on Dazzling Glare's first ability. I would also appreciate it if you explained why you think Dazzling Glare shouldn't be common (from my perspective Dazzling Glare is a spin on Dazzling Beauty in the vein of cards like Abrade and Debt to the Kami, firmly justifying its common rarity).

    With regards to Superior Will, what line of play is this card meant to serve? For 4 mana, you psuedo-protect a single creature from kill spells, deathtouch, etc. for one turn, maybe turning it into lasting protection via the indestructible counter. But there's so many non-destruction ways to remove creatures (or remove the indestructible counter afterward) that this looks exceedingly weak. Additionally, since it's a Sorcery, more often than not your target will get removed in response. It would be significantly more useful at instant speed, prompting your opponent to spend a second removal spell or have a significantly harder time dealing with your creature later (as usual for protection spells). Alternatively, if it didn't target, but instead protected the next creature that would die that turn (your choice if multiple would die at once), there would be an interesting dynamic with regards to where your opponent spends their removal during that turn (if at all). Finally, given Daring Fiendbonder does this sort of thing much better in most circumstances (same timing, less mana, and always places the counter), I think Superior Will should either be downshifted to rare or given some significant additions.

    I'd appreciate feedback on this card:
    General Renee
  • I made it a sorcery before I decided on an ability. 
  • @cadstar369
    General Renee is a pretty good card. My only critique is that the second graveyard-to-hand ability doesn't make as much sense in red/white, but I still think it synergizes well with the rest of card.
    So yeah. Overall a cool card.

    I'd like feedback on these two cards:


  • edited February 2022
    Priest of Dendar - This is pretty in line with most black cards that trigger life gain on a creature dying, main change here is the creature type for a snake tribe deck.
    Yuan-Ti Aristocrat - There are 4 mana 3/3 deathtouch already so nothing broken there. 1 mana to mill 2, is very cheap,  the only card that can mill two with only mana and without tapping is Duskmantle Guildmage and it cost {2}{u}{b} to mill 2.  This lowers the cost of milling 2 too much.
    Here is my silly multiplayer mind game card
    How is the wording? Is it clear that those spells must be played?  Most spells make it optional, this spell forces them to play whatever was hidden.
    I would hide for Phage the Untouchable, though instant lose spells are an obvious choice. Planting an unexpected board sweep also seems fun.
  • @Sweda I love how crazy this can get, especially with spells like Phyrexian Tribute or Hellcarver Demon thrown into the mix. It stood out to me that it doesn't matter why a player sacrifices their last Clue, so there can be plenty of shenanigans to either remove your last Clue without sacrificing it or force someone else to sacrifice theirs.

    To answer your concern about the wording, the absence of 'may' for the second ability does make it clear that all revealed spells must be cast (similar to how effects like Ajani's Welcome and Military Intelligence aren't optional). For the search ability however, you can't do a hidden restricted tutor, since there's no way to prove the player(s) found what they were supposed to. It would perhaps be similarly effective if you had players tutor for any card, then modified the second ability to "casts all nonland cards revealed this way". (Using Mangara's Tome & Parallel Thoughts as reference for the tutor change; not quite sure about the specific wording for the forced casting.)
    (Minor nitpick: Clue should be capitalized.)

    @WarriorCatInAhat similar to KorandAngels' prior comment, I'd like to know why you think Renee's second ability doesn't fit red/white. We have cards like Dusk // Dawn, Disciple of the Sun, and Imperial Recovery Unit, so I don't understand what led to your conclusion. Do you think Renee should return the target to the battlefield instead, like Sun Titan, Venerable Warsinger, and Alesha, Who Smiles at Death? Do you think she should be different colors? You've given me nothing to work with the next time I consider making a card similar to Renee.

    I'd appreciate feedback on this card:
    Unquiet Recall
  • @cadstar369 I'll give my 2 cents on General Renee.  It certainly is very white, the toughness boost to weenies and the conditional creature recovery from graveyard is mainly white too.  Most recovery effects like this plop the creature into the battlefield but yours also can get low P/T creatures, you nerfed the effect by having it go to your hand.  I suppose this is avoid grabbing 0/0 creatures that come into play with +1/+1 counters so I get it.  One thing is I don't see is any red in the card, triggering on attack is barely it I feel.  I'd suggest giving it haste to justify red and to also give it one "safe" chance to trigger the recovery ability otherwise later in the game it's going to be a suicide mission to trigger the recovery but it might be worth it.  It's a balanced card, nothing really to exploit but not every card here should be a bomb.
  • @cadstar369 Is there a reason why Dazzling Light was made modal?  I get how there's symmetry in that it's equally advantageous to your own attacking creatures with trample as it is disadvantageous against creatures with trample that are attacking you but the effect could be simultaneously simplified and made stronger if it was worded to just remove either an attacking or blocking creature from combat.  You can then let the clever players discover that the asymmetry works in the favour of the person who casts it.
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