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Renaissance Set — Creative Design
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Now, my point on the Reborn Panharmonicon was that if Panharmonicon itself didn't need to be legendary, a permanent that does the same thing with only Reborn effects likely doesn't need to prevent triggers to stack either. Of course it depends on how strong the card ends up to be at playtesting, but considering how many more words and how much complexity preventing the stacking adds, we probably should start with the simple stackable version.
I did state that the card was gonna be a 1->2 CMC card. In addition, I've already experimented with it and found in its current form it's too strong if it's stackable.
As for the condescending statement, I don't like when people refer to card design as exclusively affecting a thing to be referred to as hate or tech for that. I think it's lacking foresight in any significant respect.
On the story:
@ningyounk, I did see your comment; I apologize if I didn't make it clear enough which part of my comment was a response. Since each character touches a different Muse, they all spark for different reasons; they don't each have the same idea, since "great art" is relative (again, I reference the LACMA pineapple incident XD). And also, I think we wanted the Muse cycle to be infrequent enough that somebody might experience only two or three in their lifetime.
There is, however, a new problem: since we're doing a cycle of 'walkers for each color, they could easily become too similar to the Gatewatch. Consequently, I tried to mix up genders and roles in the group, as well as style of magic, though I fear that Jennel is extremely close to Gideon both in personality and role, and that Kedrah and Salendi are too similar to their respective Gatewatch counterparts in personality, though not in role or magic style.
Hopefully this concept for the beginning of the story can clear things up (it'll have to be in two parts; it's too long for one comment):
Characters:
- Salendi Kortha: Red: Painter: Female: Human: Gregarious, unabashed
- Maren Farsight: Green: Poet: Male: Elf: Introspective, quiet but wise
- Jennel of Matereth: White: Sculptor: Male: Aven: Outspoken, and a natural leader
- Ekoma Rai: Blue: Musician: Female: Human: Mute, uncertain in social situations
- Kedrah Selme: Black: Male: Human: Plagiarist who steals living artwork and then combines it with other stolen creations: Cynical, arrogant, and devilishly charming
Salendi Kortha slung her satchel of paints over her shoulder with the ease of long practice. Excitement bubbled up within her, and her fingers itched to paint something. This was inspiration; this was how art should begin; this was the feeling of the Muses' return.
She stepped onto the cobbled street and strode with a spring in her step. Past the crowds of people in their brightly colorful clothes that they hadn't had the will to wear until today. Past the enormous, abstract statue in the square that was being cleaned in preparation for its coming alive again. Past artists of all kinds; from sculptors to musicians to dancers to painters like herself to calligraphers to smiths to jewelers to woodworkers to......... The garishly colored press of artistry and inspiration and humanity around her was staggering.
She saw a man put the finishing touches on a painting with a hair-thin brush; it spiraled to life in a burst of light. She saw a sculptor sanding gently her statue of a majestic aven rising from the ground; it wriggled and took to wing. She saw a poet recite before a crowd, and the scroll which he read from was suddenly empty, and an abstract swirl of color that somehow perfectly represented his poem was darting through the air above his head as he laughed gaily.
And she saw many more people, who played their music, who took their finished pottery out of the kiln, who added a final stroke to a painting, and waited anxiously, only to be disappointed when their piece of art remained as lifeless as a rock. Today, everybody would be inspired, but not all would achieve perfection. Today, the world was happy and beautiful and bright. In a week or two it would be dull and boring again, as it was several days before, but that was another day, another world, another lifetime.
Salendi nearly skipped up to her favorite corner in the town square, where the sunlight poured through the ivy on the cobbled roofs above and cast dramatic shadows. It was a scene she had painted several times in different ways, though none had Awakened. She folded her long legs, set a canvas on her knees, and let the inspiration flow through her. She put the brush to the canvas and began to paint.
Maren Farsight crouched in the tree on the edge of town. The nib of his favorite goosefeather pen rasped on the parchment he held against the limb. Scarlet ink that he pressed from flowers filled the page in elegant Elvish runes, and the beat of the poem suffused him, a pulsing cadence that he swayed to slightly.
He stopped, hesitated, and looked at the sapling below that had captured his attention. New green leaves adorned young branches... but the perfection of growing life was marred by the place where a branch had broken off, possibly in the recent storm that always heralded the arrival of the Muses. Beads of amber sap clung to the rift in the bark, but what had really enraptured him was the tiny twig that grew in the depression left by the fracture; the sprig of new life even when death surrounded; he had compared it to a phoenix in his poem.
Maren contemplated the twig for a moment more, then returned to his writing, first dipping the point of his quill in the decanter of ruby liquid he balanced precariously on the limb beside him. As he completed a particularly elegant verse with a flourish, he felt the familiar surge of artistic power within him, the first glimmerings of the magic that would flood his being when he completed his work. That is, if it Awakened.
He channeled the bit of mana into the twig, and it grew taller, the leaves expanding and darkening until Maren cut off the connection and its expansion stopped, nearly twice as tall as it had been before. If only the rest of the world could be as persevering and as beautiful as the twig that held more beauty at that moment than anything else that met Maren's eyes, he though. The elf sighed in pleasure and the nib of his pen met the page once more.
Beneath the azure vault / Of sky, mottled shadows, / drifting clouds...
Jennel of Matereth flapped his wings and rose above the town until the streets were but a patchwork of lines beneath him. He turned east, careful not to drop the satchel in his talons, and surveyed the coastline and the other islands beyond.
One dark smudge stood out to him on the horizon, highlighted by its mountainous terrain. Matereth. His home. One of the few who had the will to travel without the Muses' influence, he had flown all the way here, to Kelamar, to meet the famed sculptor Tetheri Manyl. And there he had stayed and built a life for himself, despite the lack of the mountains that were the refuge of his people. Avens were more common in the north and east, so here in the south it wasn't unusual for him to go weeks, even months, without seeing another of his kind.
He was captain of the small band of militiamen on Kelamar, rarely utilized but important to defend against the occasional marauding drake or group of sirens. A natural leader, he relished in establishing a system that allowed everything to proceed according to plan and in the best interest of the group. He was trusted by his inferiors, and repaid their loyalty with respect in turn.
Suddenly, the majestic aven furled in his wings and dropped like a stone. He hurtled towards the ground a breakneck pace, exulting in the freedom of flight, then snapped his wings open to catch himself just before he collided with the earth. Jennel had a moment of pity for the other races, confined to the ground as they were.
The idea struck him. He opened his satchel and pulled out his tools, as well as a large lump of limestone marbled with quartz that he had found in the ground somewhere. He set it on the ground and sat in front of it, taking up his hammer and chisel.
An image sprang, unbidden, to his mind: An elegant curve, a swirl, and a loop, with shining crystal making patterns throughout. Somehow, it embodied the things he loved about the gift of flight; the freedom to go anywhere, the grace, the feeling of wind rushing past. It surprised him; usually he didn't do abstract. His sculptures tended to be of people and things; real, physical, and clean...
I'd discuss the other topics but I honestly have to do a lot of catching up given the length of the comments. Not that it's an issue to do so, it just takes time.
That and I'm not a fan of lore unless it involves visuals or a voice over. Which is why I like Bloodborne so much, especially as it allows for reading of more lovecraftian horror.
Ekoma Rai leaned back in the dim alleyway until the thin shaft of light that illuminated the drifting dust landed on her intricately carved mandolin. She slid her hands over the slim neck of the instrument, marveling in its smoothness.
The nimble fingers of her left hand hovered indecisively over the strings, then came down. Her right hand slowly arpeggiated the chord, the sound rich and deep. With gathering speed, she fingered the strings. Up higher and higher until the sequence ended with a marvelous tremolando on the highest string. The pause in the music stretched as the note died away, then the human's deft fingers exploded into motion, blurringly fast, as the song crescendoed. To the seventh, the fifth, the lowered third, and the relative minor; it was ahead of the trend, but nobody can be a revolutionary by sticking to tradition.
Ekoma repeated the phrase, faster each time, then extrapolated over the neck. Up an octave or two, then down in graceful vibrato. The lower strings added a pulsing base that colored the song a deep blue, punctuated by the splashes of red and gold from the upper notes. She had always seen music as color, just like it was when it became Awakened. She had--
Suddenly, she noticed that there was someone else in the alleyway. She flushed; Ekoma had never liked anyone to hear her improvisations... or any of her work, for that matter. Her one-woman audience was an aven, leaning silently against the wall. The song transitioned back to the dominant, then she added a suspended fourth with a pluck of her ring finger. It was a plaintive chord; questioning, unresolved.
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting," said the woman quietly, "but that was– is" she corrected herself, as Ekoma had never stopped playing, "-beautiful. Who are you?" Ekoma fingered a minor seventh chord: apologetic, light green with a swirl of bright blue. She twisted in her chair without ending the song so that the aven could see the scrap of parchment she had pinned to her chest, which read, "Mute."
The woman was apologetic, then realized. "You're her, aren't you?" Ekoma responded with an add six chord: playful, laughing, bright yellow edged by royal blue.
"I'm sorry; you can't answer that, can you? But you must be her. Ekoma Rai." The musician nodded grudgingly; she had never liked publicity. "I'm sorry," said the aven again. "I'll leave you alone."
Ekoma knew she should have indicated that the woman was welcome, but despite her self was relieved to be in solitude once more. The song crescendoed with a swirl of red, and the musician closed her eyes once more.
Kedrah Selme crept along in the shadows, hidden by his dark, hooded cloak. He peered around a corner, and nearly jumped when he noticed a mirror. The tall human surveyed himself appreciatively. Hello handsome, he thought. Then he mentally kicked himself. Yes, he was stunning, it was true, but he had a job to do. He looked again around the corner, this time past the mirror, towards a singer performing for a crowd. Kedrah closed his eyes; yes, this woman's song was going to Awaken.
It was an ability he'd always had. He could tell if a piece of art would come alive or not, an ability he put to full advantage in his line of work. He was a plagiarist, and not afraid to admit it. He could never create something on his own, but he had an eye for good art, and a mind for fitting it together. At the moment, he had a painting and a dance that he had captured, and kept them in a small wooden box that hung on his belt. All he needed to complete his mixture of stolen works was a good song for the dance to move to.
He crept farther forwards, then stopped and took off his cloak, draping it over an arm. He blended in with the crowd as the woman finished her song.
With a burst of light, it awakened and twisted and turned in the air above her head, illuminating her laughing, upturned face. He felt a momentary pang of regret for what he was about to do, but quashed it as he leapt forwards and swiped her song out of the air with his own unique magic. Into the box it went, as he sped away and the crowd milled in confusion.
The last thing he saw before he rounded the corner was the devastation that was written so plainly on the face of the singer.
So now the characters' art Awakens, and they are each inspired by a different Muse and spark. I hope to get some good feedback on this, especially pertaining to Gatewatch similarity. I'm happy to remake the story.
(Sorry about Ekoma Rai's story for you non-musicians; I'm a guitarist, so I actually know the musical jargon that I put in there XD)
There are a loooot of things to say, I'll try to keep it short ^^ I'm actualy going to answer from bottom to top for once:
1) What I loved, liked, or found a little weird in the story.
As I already said, I am very impressed by what you wrote and liked it very much. There are a couple of things that really touched me at a deeper level and I'd especially like to see them stay in the set if possible:
- There's an electric feel in the air when the characters talk about feeling the return of the Muses that I think was absolutely delightful. It's everywhere, unseen, and it feels like a perfect fit for a Renaissance set. I think you found the right tone, it really works for me. Your depiction of living Art also felt like a home-run.
- The character of Ekoma is a huge flavour hit in my opinion. The fact that she's mute is very original, and the fact that she can express herself through music is just genius. I was very moved to see how you managed to make the conversation just by describing the note, it was brilliant. I'd really want her in the set.
- I especially liked the idea of having an aven sculptor because it made me realize: maybe she can scuplt with her beak? xD
There are also a couple of things that I was less sure about:
- Having the Muses stay for a week or two sounds short. They embody the idea of Renaissance on the plane, so while they doesn't have to say for several centuries, I was picturing something closer to the winter cycle in Games of Thrones if you're familiar with it? So rather a matter of years, a small golden age.
- Having storms announce the return of the Muses sounds oddly dark to me. Maybe a transition from winter to spring instead would be more optimistic and would also look good on cards?
2) On the characters themselves.
As you mentioned yourself, it feels a bit too close to the Gatewatch. Here are ideas to fix it:
- They don't have to be monocoloured, they can be multicoloured ^^
- Here are the details that I found a little too close to the Gatewatch in the characters: the green quiet elf, the white leader (black is usually the colour of leadership, there's a potential swap here), and the fierceless red female.
- We can break the cycle, we can do 5 planeswalkers but with different levels of importance to the story. For instance, they don't have to be all new. E.g: 3 new planeswalkers (hero + villain + side character) and 2 returning (1 random and 2 Gatewatch members sharing one same card, that could be fun?).
- Maybe we should give Da Vinci a planeswalker card by the way? He could be a side character?
On top of that, here are some comments on the characters themselves:
- We should probably look for artworks BEFORE deciding what they look like because we can't commission art x) In particular, if you find a good character that is pictured on multiple artworks, he/she could take a more important place. For instance there are multiple instances of this weird-looking character https://www.artstation.com/artwork/w6X6g in this (amazing) portfolio by Alex Konstad: https://www.artstation.com/artist/alexkonstad Maybe he could be some sort of villain?
- While Black having no scruple plagiarizing is fine, it bothered me a bit that it was the only one of the cycle to not be an artist himself. Maybe he can act, he's a comedian?
3) On the sparking matter.
I'm scared "touch a muse then experience a burst of [insert emotion]" would still be too similar to show a cycle of cards with it, compared to things like "Lost his friends to the God of death, realized his mentor was a lie, turn her brother into a zombie by accident, was going to be executed after her parent's death, and encountered an eldrazi titan". Here they would bascially all spark for the same reason (touching a muse) and it feels like this wouldn't give a good cycle of cards because they would be too close.
Once again, congratulations on this amazing work!
So here are the new additions to the set:
1) New mechanic and modifications to already existing mechanic
The new Rebirth mechanic is the embodiment of the Renaissance theme. It depicts how the world and its inhabitants change at the Return of the Muses, which marks the beginning of a new Renaissance age.
Rebirth {cost} ({cost}, Exile this nonreborn creature: Return it to the battlefield reborn with two +1/+1 counters on it. Rebirth only as a sorcery.)
Other mechanics have been slightly modified: (Waiting for general approval.)
Virtuoso N (Create a colorless N/N Art creature token with haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of your next end step.)
Psylian life. (Psylian life is part of your life total. You always lose psylian life before regular life. Pay 2 psylian life: Add {C} to your mana pool.)
2) Archetype grid
Here are the ten mechanical focus of all bicolour combinations in this set:
2) What remains to do
We're discussing story and characters right now, but we have actually enough material to start the design phase soon
That piece of art is PERFECT for the possibility of a corrupted Muse! I think that we should add that to our list of possibilities for the evil. There are two possible ways I think we can go with this idea: either (1) one Muse was corrupted ages ago, so there is one emotion that nobody has, and this is the evil that comes with the return of the Muses every time, or (2) (I like this one better) a foreign 'walker corrupted a Muse, and this creates an imbalance, similar to the imbalance made when one of the new 'walkers bails out. Then the 'walkers have to purify the Muse again.
I see your point on a sparking cycle. I think it isn't really needed, anyway, since we were going to do each person's Masterpiece or Masterwork.
It's true that we are limited in our characters because, unlike WotC, we have to FIND already existing art
On the black 'walker, I didn't like that either, because 'just a plagiarist' was my first thought. Why would he 'touch' a Muse if he didn't create anything? Since it's not a contest with judges, etc, he wouldn't be inspired. My solution: he can't paint/sculpt/dance/sing/play music/etc. etc. etc. for his life, but he is skilled in stealing other people's Awakened creations and combining them in an artistic way.
"fierceless"? combination of 'fearless' and 'fierce'? XD But yes, I get your point. The thing is, that's a major part of the identity of red. WotC tried to embody every aspect of each Gatewatch 'walker's color in their personality, so there are bound to be some similarities. I removed pyromancy and some of the recklessness/"thrill of battle" elements, focusing mostly on the gregariousness and emotional-ness from the red 'walker, for example. The white one I gave a longing for home, which could be a distraction; and the green one I tried to make more attuned with society (I gave Nissa's timidity to Ekoma, the blue 'walker), but there wasn't really a chance to do that in this story.
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Does anyone have anything to say about how I translated artistry to magic? Is it workable?
- Salendi Kortha (the red one) could be UR
- Maren Farsight (the green one) could be UG or possibly GB if we change his outlook *significantly*
- Jennel of Matereth (the white one) could be either RW or GW
- Kedrah Selme (the black one) could be BU
- I'm not sure about Ekoma Rai (the blue one)
Mind you, this is just a quick thing that I came up with off the top of my head. It's a little imbalanced, so it'll need some working on XD
Yes, I also like better the version with the corrupted muse where they try to purify it, because it gives a clear goal to the heroes, a planeswalker antagonist, and if they fail we can easily imagine there will be dire consequences. Also, it's probably easier to represent on cards?
Yeap, having the Planeswalker cycle + their Masterwork + their sparking is probably too much of the same stuff, and I'd rather show their work than their sparking because it's both easier and it's where their real identity lies, in my opinion.
Fierceless is not a word? XD My bad, I could have sworn x) For the combining things in Black, would you have an example of artwork showing that in mind? It sounds more difficult to depict than a regular art like dance or acting on a card, which are both available. For the red character, making her a male would help a lot in that case, but I'm sure there are plenty of other flavour to a red character than "hot-blooded" if we want to be more original ^^
I mentioned it in my big block of text above, but yes I think your depiction of magical artistry was a home-run! It helps a lot at giving sense to Virtuoso
Also, you didn't adress a big subject and I think it's important we do: What do you think of breaking the cycle of planeswalkers to allow more diversity in the characters? I understand it's difficult to let go of some characters after spending so much time creating them, but it does have a lot of upsides for the set in general:
- Most importantly, those characters can still be part of the story and even take legendary creature slots even it they're not part of the 5 planeswalkers.
- It allows us to use existing planeswalkers which is something players will be excited about at first when discovering the set.
- It makes the story more believable, less symmetrical than five muses, five kind of arts, five planeswalkers, five emotions etc.
- It prevents the Gatewatch comparison.
- It's easier to do because depending on the number of art we have for each character, they don't have to all be as important as the other.
- It lets us do a proper evil planeswalker separated from the heroes.
- It leaves planeswalker slots for important figures of Renaissance, and in particular we could consider having Da Vinci as a planeswalker.
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I have a preference for a monocolour cycle if we manage to agree on breaking the planeswalker cycle with different types of planeswalkers, not five heroes. If the general consensus is to do five heroes, then yes I'd rather do them bicolour to pull them away from the Gatewatch.
Here are the four posibilities:
My personal favourite is #1, I think ^^
Well done on the stories, @MagicChess! It certainly helps us figure out directions, and proposes ideas that certainly require serious consideration.
The more I think on it, I'm wondering if our five focus characters shouldn't be planeswalkers at all. Maybe they don't spark. This would allow us to have our pretty much mandatory Da Vinci walker, as well as returning characters if we want. As I type this, I'm getting potential plot ideas.
A.) Our five "heroes" maintain the same goal, to "touch" the muses and gain ultimate inspiration. But our plagiarist quite literally seizes the opportunity and steals any chances for the others to spark, which could be fitting for his character and role.
B.) The corrupted muse could be Spite, the embodiment of pure hatred. The prevention of hatred or disdain in the populace could lend to why this plane is so optimistic. Any place so happy and utopic would of course be unsettling, and this could be the secret behind it. The spectrum of emotions is literally incomplete.
Well, we have five planeswalker slots to fill no matter what, so we can dedicate one or two slots to the heroes ^^ Especially if he/she sparks during the story.
On the plot ideas: I love the idea of the Muse of Spite explaining the optimism of the plane, it's vibrant! But I feel that, with a corrupted Muse in the global picture, touching the Muse shouldn't be the main goal, more of an adventure towards the resolution of the plot.
Here's an example: The Black character is actually a cool guy, he's a team player because he likes having friends to tell him how awesome of a leader he is. He and his friends learn about a missing Muse and they go exploring to find it. When they find it, the Black character touches it which makes him spark but also turns him bad and spiteful. His friends try to save him by using their Art magic to [insert cool plot twist here]. Maybe one of his friends courageously touch another Muse to be powerful enough to stop him as a fellow planeswalker, so they each got a planeswalker card?
@MagicChess: For the option #4, I'm a bit concerned with having Ekoma being Simic now that Nissa is Simic too because they're both shy female characters. We could find more original interpretations of the colours to make sure it fits the character? For instance the Green in Salendi can very well represent her honesty, Green is a colour about simplicity and truth, and Salendi sounds like the kind of character that would lay bare her heart on a canvas. And black doesn't necessarily means that the character is evil. In the case of Ekoma, her mutism likely makes her lonely and fatalist, two traits represented by black. Blue/Black fits well a character that likes to play music all alone.
@brcien, I think it's interesting to leave out one or more characters in the cards, but we don't even know if we're doing a return set.
As long as we don't have our heroes be a cycle of planeswalker, we can allocate the planeswalkers slots to monocoloured characters:
E.g:
W: Hero 1
U: Random side character that help the heroes
B: Bad guy
R: Hero 2
G: Returning planeswalker
_____________________________________________________________________________
By the way, I'm starting the preparation for the design phase thread
Here's an example as a basis for discussion, based on the first Muses concept:
W: Love — If you gained life this turn, EFFECT.
U: Solitude — If you didn't lose life since your last turn, EFFECT.
B: Despair — If you lost life this turn, EFFECT.
R: Ire — If an opponent lost life this turn, EFFECT.
G: Bliss — If your have more life than an opponent, EFFECT.
- Jennel of Matereth: White: Abstract sculpture of his love of flight (love)
- Ekoma Rai: Blue: Music played for nobody but herself (solitude)
- Kedrah Selme: Black: Stolen creations mixed together into something new (this one goes more with the mechanical representation) (despair)
- Salendi Kortha: Red: Painting inspired by her passion for art (passion)
- Maren Farsight: Green: Poem about nature's resilience (this one goes more with the mechanical representation) (bliss)
It feels weird to not have anger because it's a very easy emotion to show on cards and it has a lot of resonance mechanically. Passion or zeal could work as well though, it's true ^^
I always had some difficulties with the balance of negative/positive emotions with the Muses, maybe a solution could be to do the "Muses of X and Y" for instance "Muse of Love and Hate", "Muse of Bliss and Sorrow", "Muse of Calm and Ire", "Muse of Faith and Fear", "Muse of Envy and Disgust." Possibly bicoloured in that case?
The characters don't have to make a cycle of five that are aligned on the emotions by the way! It's not the Gatewatch. Maybe for instance some of them are monocoloured and some of them are multicoloured (think Samut GR / Djeru monoW in Amonkhet).
I think we should brainstorm a bit for plot ideas, this way it'll be easier to know where we're going and what characters we need?
Here are random thoughts :
- Hidden corrupted muse (possibly that conceals bad emotions?)
- Touching a muse as a way to spark
- Stealing/Killing a muse
- Creating a new Muse with Art
- Follow the butterflies to find the Muse
- Plot involving the royal family (because royalty have beautiful Renaisance artwork)
- Plot involving taking a boat and discovering new lands
- Evil planeswalker
- Trying to capture the Muses to block their cycle on the Renaissance mode
- Muses bringing spring after a long museless winter
- Da Vinci helping the characters to fly or anything Da Vinci-related
- Da Vinci-inspired character is secretly a planeswalker who touched a Muse and try to talk the hero(es) out of doing the same because he knows what would happen, a bit like Saheeli and Rashmi's invention on Kaladesh.
It's difficult for me to describe the exact level of details we need (it's not much but it needs to have the basic goal, stakes, important milestones, and conclusion). For instance, in the Amonkhet block, we would have needed to know:
- The Gatewatch is here to make a surprise attack on Bolas. (And Liliana for her demon.)
- The place is corrupted by Bolas. He's the God-Pharaoh that will return soon.
- Five Gods have five trials that are actually an elite undead army factory. We get to see some of the planeswalkers try those trials (we see Gideon fail at the Black one.)
- The Gatewatch discovers the truth bits by bits. They find Samut, a native to the plane that knows Bolas is an impostor.
- Finally the horns align with the second sun. The gates to the afterlife open to reveal the truth. Follow five series of disasters called the Hours:
- Hour of Revelation: Razakhet appears and turns the Nile into blood. They kill him to make the reader think they're strong enough to take Bolas.
- Hour of Glory: The Scorpion God appears and start killing the Gods one by one.
- Hour of Promise: The Locust God appears and destroys the Hekma.
- Hour of Eternity: The Scarab God appears and brings the army of undead with him.
- Hour of Devastation: The God-Pharaoh, Bolas, appears and quickly defeats the five planeswalkers who are forced to run away.
I think that's more or less the essence of the basic plot of this block? We get to see the key aspects of the plane (the Desert, the Gods, Bolas), the general goal for the story (find and kill Bolas), the plot twist (Bolas corrupted everything and is preparing an army of undead, the gatewatch losing) and some key moments that we already know are going to be important and are worth some cards: the planeswalkers trying to pass the Trials (Cruel Reality), Samut being a rebel (which leads naturally to spotlight moments like By Force and Gideon's Intervention) and the five Hours.
For the Renaissance set, we could really use a good goal for starters. For instance, if the goal is to touch a Muse, what are the stakes, what happens if they fail? We should try to incorporate the important elements of the set we already know:
- Optimistic and beautiful plane.
- Cycle of Muses that bring emotions and inspiration as a metaphor for Renaissance.
- A celebration of the Return of the Muses.
- Someone touch a Muse and sparks.
- There's a corrupted Muse somewhere.
- Art comes to life.
- People are discovering new places and inventing new technology.
--> We need to put those elements in the right order (for instance, is touching the muse the start of the plot, just an adventure among others, or is it the denouement?) and create the missing parts that link them ^^
Overarching Theme: Life on the archipelago is dictated by the flow of the Muses, divine/spiritual manifestations of humanoid emotions, like gods on Theros and Amonkhet. The Muses follow a cycle, categorized as Eras ofArrivals and Departures. When the Muses leave, the Departure begins, and the archipelago lapses in a long winter. And when the Muses come back, the Era of Departure ends and the Era of Arrival begins.
With the Arrival of the Muses, a burst of inspiration and discovery begins. But with the Departure of the Muses, the archipelago must hunker down for a long winter, and little discovery is made. Think of the Departure as a return of the Dark Ages.
Nobody knows where the Muses go. Currently in the story, an Era of Arrival has just begun and everyone is optimistic. This is the "Celebration of the Return of the Muses."
The Muses: Muses can interact mentally with others, which is a physically and mentally taxing experience. Each Muse can bestow their gifts on the worthy, who become known as the Touched. Beings who are Touched are infused with magic, passing on their gift to their art, teaching, and creations. This is the "Art Comes to Life"
Those who cannot stand being Touched, however, become physically and mentally ravaged, becoming the Unwanted. They embody the perverted ideal of the Muse they tried to touch (e.g: a human who fails Touching the Muse of Love becomes a spiteful and hateful monster.) Unwanteds are rightfully feared, and if they survive being captured, they are banished to an unsettled isle of the archipelago that is reportedly cursed.
One important thing is that the Muses don't all agree. Idealizing different emotions, they disagree about which emotion is the most important. They recognize that all emotions combine together to create something greater than the sum of their parts, but are secretly bitter about it.
With my knowledge of the color pie and flavor, here is my idea of what the Muses should embody:
W - Muse of Faith
U - Muse of Enlightenment (As in achieving a higher state of knowledge)
B - Muse of Tenacity (As in unstoppable ambition)
R - Muse of Passion/Love
G - Muse of Bliss (This one is flexible and could change)
Alternately, if you want two-colored Muses:
WB - Muse of Faith
BG - Muse of Tenacity
GU - Muse of Enlightenment
UR - Muse of Ingenuity
RW - Muse of Passion
The Corrupt Muse (?) : I am unsure how to implement a Corrupt Muse, just because I don't want one overlapping in other Muse territory or one that seems too much like Bontu (RIP). But here are some ideas I could mold around:
* The Corrupt Muse is the Muse of Destruction. He was cast out by the other Muses by being forced into a human form, but he seeks to destroy the Muses to 'restart anew' on the islands as their one leader
* Muses are willed into existence by human belief, right? So what if a cult, inspired by legends of gaining control over the Muses, believed into existence their own Muse to gain power?
* All of the Muses are actually corrupted, with their values actually the opposite and contorted in such a way. The Unwanteds are actually the ones successfully 'touched' by the Muses, and are a secret army waiting for something. Could require some work.
But here is my idea for a story:
- The main characters engage in the festivities welcoming back the Muses, but one or more finds suspicious activity among a famous artisan group some of the characters are part of.
- Upon investigating, the characters find a plot inside the artisan group to capture the Muses and siphon their powers to themselves, making them demigods. None of the characters know this beforehand.
- The artisan group will try and capture the Muses at a massive masterclass of sorts called The Reckoning of Talents.
- To add more drama, the group of characters split, with some of the characters supporting the artisan group and others going against it.
- The characters who try and save the Muses almost sabotage the attempt, but the other characters salvage the plan and lead the assault against the Muses.
- One of the characters touches a Muse, and realizes something is seriously wrong. They spark.
- Plot twist: the Muses knew of the 'ambush' all along. They channel the emotional outbreaks caused by the attack into fueling their own magics and begin to try and conform the archipelago to their own ideals.
- Idealistic war breaks out, with followers of each Muse fighting against each other for control over the archipelago Praetor-style. All of the original characters survive, and vow to take down the war.
- Using their magic and allies, the characters break apart the war and banish the Muses (maybe to the cursed island?). With the Departure forced early on the world, winter sets in, and the shaken islands rebuild.
So if I were to create spotlight cards, here would be what they are:
- Uncovering of a Conspiracy
- Characters Split
- Failed Attack
- Idealistic War
- Banishment of the Muses
Thoughts?
- The Muses (and we're very certain about this) aren't gods and should be as different from gods as possible. Thus, they also don't have concrete goals (such as "reforming the archipelago"), but are rather a mysterious and otherworldly force that has no known purpose. As such, they should not be depicted as characters, but more as observers. They may not even be sentient, but nobody knows for sure one way or another, like Eldrazi (but not alien, world-devouring monster. Obviously. XD).
- In a similar vein, we want the festival/celebration to be as far from Amonkhet Trials as we can. So less of "bestowing gifts" upon the "worthy;" it would be more like "artists Touching the Muses and gaining inspiration."
- I like your color identifications of the Muses, for both moncolored and bicolored. These would be the main/Grand Muses, though there are countless other, more minor ones.
- On your corrupted Muse proposals: The first is plausible, similar to what we discussed earlier, though different the corrupt Muse became human. Maybe as a plot twist, the black 'walker turns out to be the corrupted Muse? The second is also very interesting. The third option would be hilarious as the ultimate plot twist in Magic history XD (arguably beaten by the one in HOU), but it would unfortunately be very difficult to implement and too similar to the Hours (secret army = Eternals; Muses are secretly opposites = Hours/prophecies are secretly twisted).
- On your story idea (great job on that, by the way
@Gelectrode, I realize that was pretty full of criticism, but please don't think that myself and the rest of us aren't grateful. I suppose I am a bit biased, as I've already proposed a story idea, and (obviously) like my own XD.
We really appreciate the feedback you've given and the ideas you'e presented, as well as the time and effort you put into this. Thanks so much for your help!
I especially liked:
- The overarching plot summarized the plane very well with good analogies.
- "The Touched" and "The Unwanted" sounds really really cool to my ears, even if they end up used in a different way.
- It's funny that you struggled while implementing the corrupted Muse because I think it's my favourite part of what you've written x) Restriction breeds creativity as they say =D We actually don't *have* to fit it in the story, by the way
On the things that I think we can still make better: (Well, it's mostly the same thing as @MagicChess ^^)
- The Muses sound a bit too close to Gods on my opinion, with ideals and worshippers etc. We can be a bit loose about our definition and experiment a bit, but overall I think I prefered the Eldrazi analogy ^^
- For the reason above, I'd keep the beginning and twitch the end so people try to use the Muses but the Muses technically don't do anything that could be labeled as consciously good or evil by themselves.
- I think I also preferred a version of "Art comes to life" that was more tied to the plane, a bit like the Curse of Wandering on Amonkhet, but for art instead of corpses.
- The emotion you assigned to each muse sounds a little far from actual emotions. In theory, there are seven univeral emotions and it would be good to represent them as much as possible: Joy, sadness, surprise, fear, contempt, disgust and anger. Then we have secondary emotions that can replace them: Bliss, shame, pride, etc. It's ok to not stick to them perfectly, for instance "Love" is not an emotion but it's probably too good to pass xD In your version, what bothers me is that we have Faith, Tenacity and Passion at the same time which can be seen as three nuances of the same thing (which is sticking to something obsessively) ^^
In what @MagicChess wrote, I was really fond of the character that was mute but could express herself with music instead of talking. Maybe we could combine it with the idea of a Muse in disguise?