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  • edited January 2022
    I don't really know? I mean you can steal your opponent's spells and then it costs less if you countered spells that turn. Why did this effect have to go on a untouchable/untouching 0/20? So it can't be removed? It seems interesting. However it allows this interaction:

     
    Enchanting Shinkanaru (gets around protection from everything because it is untargeted.)



    Then play that and you have a 20/20 for five blue, one white, and seven generic. I guess you could just play Ulamog.

    Here's my stuff:
    One card, but it transforms. I made a top-down design of William Afton from the Five Night's at Freddy's series of games and books. 
    William Afton Psychopath
    For the crazed counters, they don't go off when the card is put into the graveyard. It should have reminder text, but I didn't want the card to be too crowded. Here is the reminder text:
    "Crazed counters stay on this creature even if it is put into your graveyard."Springtrap Vengeant Remains
    Has no mana cost because it is the flip side of William Afton.

  • edited January 2022
    @ShadowReign That's quite the card.  I don't remember seeing so much text on the previous version that it required italicization to get everything to fit.  If it already has indestructible and protection from everything (which effectively gives it shroud as well) and it can't attack block to boot, I don't see the point of giving it 20 toughness except to just make a statement.  No one's going to be casting Toxic Deluge for 20 and you won't be playing it with High Alert.  In the end, there's no such thing as absolute invincibility as cards like Terminus, Upheaval, Final Judgment, Sudden Spoiling, Mindbreak Trap, or even Chainer's Edict exist.  It's best to just accept that there's always a potential answer out there and not turn a card into ability soup trying to cover all your bases.  Reminder: You're playing the card in a blue deck with the expectation of being able to counter things, how much built-in protection do you really need?

    @cadstar369 Based on your other Formations, it looks like the Charge cost is always some amount of generic mana and Charge and Discharge only ever occur together.  That being the case, couldn't the two abilities be condensed into a single ability with the charge and discharge values listed together (E.g., Ability Cost [Value in, Value out]-Effect)?  It seems like an unnecessary use of space to list two half-abilities.  Hypothetically, there's potential for using Charge by itself on a card that cares about charge counters or has other uses for them but none of the Existing Formations suggest that.
  • @SPyBondPlays One of the benefits of protection is that it can't have permanents of that type attached to it. Giving a creature protection from white will make any white auras attached to it go to the graveyard. In this case, once the Sword is attached, the Destiny will go to the graveyard.
  • @Jadefire

    That's good though? No cards should have absolutely no answer for them.
  • edited January 2022
    @Jadefire I intentionally thought out every aspect of this card. Shinkanaru is extremely hard to remove, because it doesn't do much other than copy spells. As a commander, the deck requires a lot of thought. If you're going to fill it with counter spells, you need ways to pay the cost of your opponents spells, but are you prepared to bank on your opponents deck? If you want to counter your own spells, you'll need to balance the counter spells and spells worth countering. It's extremely hard to remove because it's useless on its own, but removable nonetheless.
  • @SPyBondPlays Yes, that's a very good thing.  No card, deck, or strategy should be without an answer, even if that answer is to beat you down and win faster than you can make your winning play.

    @ShadowReign ;I'm not a commander player but I can appreciate the difficulty of going all-in on a creature that relies on its memory to be useful.  Your card made me think of Guile, which is a couple of steps back in terms of payoff and resilience but also a significant number of steps back in terms of its need to remain on the battlefield the first time you cast it.  There is a way to get around the memory problem but it seems like you've settled on the version of the card that you want.
  • @Jadefire I want to leave open the possibility of non-mana costs for Charge abilities (though the reminder text feels clunky for such costs). Also none of the Charge costs are actually generic mana, just the current arrangement was easier to implement for multicolored Formations (e.g. I didn't want to write out {w}{w}, {w}{u}, {w}{b}, {u}{u}, {u}{b}, and {b}{b} as the options for the Charge ability on Omnipotence Engine). Your comment does give me an idea for a kind of supplemental Formation that grants additional Charge and/or Discharge abilities. I'm not quite sure how to visualize your proposed combined ability though, could you provide an example?
  • edited January 2022
    @ShadowReign Well Shinkanaru got me thinking how to make an unkillable creature along with your spell remembering ability, maybe wording it like? 
    If Shinkanaru becomes the target of a spell or
    ability or if it would leave the battlefield, exile it
    and return it into the battlefield under it's
    owner's control. Shinkanaru cannot be countered.
    Shinkanaru can't attack or block.
    Spells that are countered are exiled with an XXX counter on it.
    During your postcombat main phase, you may
    copy of a card in exile with an XXX counter on
    it. You may cast it and it cost {1} less to cast for
    each card in exile with an XXX counter on it.
    I went for flickering if anything were to happen to it for protection.  I think you can still enchant it with spells that just says "attach aura" but flickering should make it immune to mass bounce, -1/-1, sacrifice.  Still not impossible to deal with but shores up other removal.
    For the ability to remember countered spells I tweaked it so cards are exiled with a counter, not sure how important it is if the opponents spells go to the graveyard, but it avoids having to "remember" cards.  It's fun card in a sense like those crazy red enchantments (you know the ones) and a fun little exercise in wording it.
  • edited January 2022
    @cadstar369 Right, I read the reminder text but I guess it didn't register when I was thinking about it afterwards.  It makes sense to leave the door open for non-mana costs as that's the next logical step to take with them.  Also, I saw that Brightflame Ward doesn't have only a single Charge and Discharge ability so it makes sense to keep them separate.  Combining into a single ability only works if there's a 1-to-1 relationship between charging and discharging on each card.

    One thing I forgot to mention is that I don't think it's too restrictive to make a Formation only charge or discharge on any given turn.  The abilities are at instant speed so you can just EOT charge before your turn begins and discharge on your own turn or vice versa, depending on what the Formation does.

    It looks like you've stepped away from printing the reminder text for Charge and Discharge on cards but, for future reference, you may be able to save some space by turning charge and discharge into keyword actions: 

    Charge N—{cost} ({cost}: Put N charge counters on this permanent. Spend only mana of this permanent's colors on this ability. Activate only if this permanent hasn't discharged this turn.)

    Discharge N—{effect} (Remove N charge counters from this permanent: {effect}. Activate only if this permanent hasn't charged this turn.)

    I took the liberty of changing "color identity" to just "color" but if you actually want to include an off-color activated ability on Formations and allow that to broaden the accepted mana for charging, you can change it back. 

  • I know I'm supposed to critique before posting, but you guys have already done that. I'll critique the person who critiques mine:

    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/mistress-of-bones


    I designed this card to be a multi-purpose enabler. She enables self mill decks, sacrifice decks, and skeleton tribal (many skeletons come back from your graveyard).
  • @hileandr
    Very nice card, I think you made it well and costed it well, you've defintely have to build around it for it to work, but It would work potentially. Can you please critique my william afton transformer card? Thanks. I posted it above a bit.
  • @SPyBondPlays

    OK. Well firstly I have to say, I don't have any knowledge of the source material, so I have to critique it as a magic card only and not as a flavorful recreation, unfortunately.

    That being said, the card is quite complex and strange, most likely due to the flavor aspect. As a pure magic card, it has kind of a strange play pattern. It's not a very good attacker, so if the opponent has any creatures in play, William will likely die when he attacks. He's quite a strong defensive card, on the other hand, and will likely cause long board stalls if the opponent has no removal. All that being said, it's unfortunate because the +1/-1 is kind of interesting and may not often come into play.

    That along with the counters persisting in the graveyard and the suspend 1 after using the ability, my humble opinion is that William Afton has lots of complexity with unfortunately little gain as he stands right now.

    Now on to Springtrap. Springtrap I like more than William, it's a simpler design and I know what to do with him: attack! There is the added complexity of another type of counter, which I kind of get, it takes him longer and longer to come back. I don't mind that so much, but due to the complexity of the entire card, front and back, it might be smoother to just have him suspend a static number rather than the variable number of time counters. Also, I'm not sure about this, but it's possible that the suspend mechanic will put him back into play as William and not Springtrap. Not sure if that is intentional.

    I think if Sprintrap were a standalone card, it would be fine as-is (although you have a typo - "an rebirth counter"). My personal opinion is cards are better if they are simpler.

    All that being said, I will reiterate, the source material flavor is lost on me, so perhaps someone else can give a more fair review who is familiar with it.
  • @SPyBondPlays
    I like the flavor of this, but I’m not really a fan of the concept of counters that stay on cards that leave the battlefield (perhaps if it were silver bordered, it would work). For the insanity counters, there really isn’t any functional reason for them to stay on in the graveyard anyway.


    what if, instead of insanity counters, Afton was reworked with delirium?
    For example:


    “Whenever Afton deals damage to a creature or player, put a +1/-1 counter on him, then mill 1.

    Delirium- exile Afton transformed from your graveyard with a time counter on it. Activate only if you have four or more card types among cards in your graveyard.”


    Springtrap could also have the artifact subtype (although you would probably have to lose “berserker”), and could probably stand to be a bit more powerful.

    I hope this helps.
    here’s mine:
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/viscid-bruiser-1


  • edited January 2022
    @hileandr It's rare to see a skeleton tribal card,  4 mana for 3/3 worth of stats is par for the course.  Creating skeletons and then milling fits in black graveyard decks but I feel this card should have some graveyard interaction given it self mills.  Maybe {t}: exile a creature on your graveyard and make some skeletons?  I feel {t}:sacing a creature for 1/1 is a bit under powered even if it synergizes with it's milling.
    @Globert-the-Martian Viscid Bruiser is cute and nice use of last strike and a blob creature.  I can see this can even be a standard card, not just an un card too.  I was going to say give menace or make it able to block additional creatures but I feel using another card to grant it those would be better for the deck building experience rather than just baking the abilities right in, simpler is better here. 
    Here is mine

  • @BT9154 Very nice! Great balancing, and cool mechanics. I think you should maybe nock it back to 1 damage at mana value 2, which would give your opponents more of an incentive to sacrifice those tokens; and since your opponents are using up those tokens the 1 damage here and there can add up. You can also change it so she always untaps, since 99.9% of the time you're gonna have her untap. Sweet card.



    Here is the card I would like critique on:
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/menacing-hydra-2?list=user

  • @ShadowReign: Menacing Hydra is such a cool card! I love the concept of spending life for phyrexian mana altering how the card itself functions. The primary change I would make is including black in the cost, just because green doesn't usually get straight creature destruction. Or, you could have the -1/-1 counters transfer over to that creature instead of outright destroying it. Regardless, overall the card seems balanced and is extremely creative.

    Ok, here's my card:


    image
  • @Globert-the-Martian ;
    Introducing... Viscid Brusier!
  • edited January 2022
    @TalentedTalonflame Very amusing card, I've always liked "bad" cards that can be gifted to other players, they great for build arounds. 
    I think it's too easy to pass it to other players though, let the gifter savour the "gift" they gave to someone.  I was thinking making it so you can only sac odd mana value cards so you can tactically give it to someone with only even mana value cards in the battlefield.  Or swap the even odd so they can sac lands so there is always a way out but the cost is heavier.  The sac'ing legendary does feel out of place though, I'm not sure if it would be used much.  You made an amusing mechanic that is great for trolling, I like it.
    Here is mine

  • @Sweda I don't think there's much to say here. Durqol is a neat equipment that does what it's meant to do and not much else due to the sacrifice clause. It'd be a great enabler/deterrent in an Ephara deck. Minor grammar fix: the last bit should say "the end step" instead of "each end step".

    I'd appreciate thoughts on these two:
    Fracturing Wrath Pitch Drowner

  • edited January 2022
    @cadstar369
    For the pitich drowner, I think that it should say "opponents control" instead of your guys, and it shouldn't exile it, just make a 2/2 when it dies. But other than that its a very cool card, though I think its maybe too powerful than it should be right now. For the Fracturing Wrath card, I really like it. I think playing with the color pie like that is super cool, and how for different costs you can have a mono white card, a mono green card, a boros card, or a gruul card with effects that correspond to those combinations accurately all in one card. I feel like Fracturing Wrath could actually be printed in a masters edition or horizons set honestly.
  • @cadstar369

    Fracturing Wrath is an interesting concept, providing a ton of versatility and not requiring you to actually run all three of its colors. I do feel like the overload cost should be significantly higher, say {3}{g}{g}, and similarly I would change the entwine cost to {1}{r}.

    Pitch Drowner appeals to me because I like cards with special "care about X" effects, in this case caring about -1/-1 counters. I think that the card is appropriately costed, given that it has a powerful effect but is inefficient at giving out -1/-1 counters itself. I don't actually have any suggestions for changing Pitch Drowner.

    Here's my card:



    image
  • @TalentedTalonflame I feel like pain chain is a little underpriced, even with the less than 10 life rule. maybe you could have it cost {2}{b}{p/b}. adding the phrexian mana would make it more fair, being able to play a 5/5 for 3 late game, if you needed to be able to block with it. the rest of the the card is very well balanced, and the only change i'd make to it is that the {x}{b}{b} abilty should maybe cost {x}{b} only.

    here is my card:

  • @The_333_ I really like the concept of this card. I think it should have a mana value of 3, though. There are a few issues with the wording. I think it should say:

    | Ezill, God of Infinity |
    You can't cast spells.
    The "legend rule" doesn't apply to Ezill, God of Infinity.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, create a token that's a copy of Ezill, except it doesn't have this ability.
    At the beginning of your precombat main phase, put a +1/+1 counter on Ezill.

    I don't think the Epic ability works on creatures, so made the change, but still works pretty much the same way.



    Here is the card I would like critique on:
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/kejharknor-dahkluk-ghanov?list=user

  • @The_333_ Ezill kinda puts your game into auto pilot, each turn you add to your board and all the others get stronger,  it's powerful as it's now up to your opponent to keep up with your board.  I can't say it's a exciting card to play though since for the rest of the game the cards in your deck doesn't really play a role anymore.
    For wording you should use is The "legend rule" doesn't apply to Ezill, similar to the few cards that allow multiple legendary.
    Here is mine

  • @Sweda Could you comment on my card, please?
  • @cadstar369 ;
    Comment on these please.
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/drive-shot?list=user
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/inspiring-plea
    Inspiring Plea
    Drive Shot

    These are a fuse card. I put which one it fuses with so it isn't confusing. If I had more room on afton I would've wrote "Transforms into Springtrap, Vengant Remains", so people can find the transform ones. This is a top down design inspired by the "Now watch this drive" meme of George Bush.
  • edited January 2022
    @ShadowReign Ah, you posted while I was commenting on the previous card.  Your card is similar to Bringer of Black Dawn, {7}{b}{b} 5/5 trample that lets you Vampiric tutor each turn.  To compare, your card has a bigger body and hex proof but your tutoring cost way more, you skip your attack, pay 3 life, 4 mana and sac a creature, these are quite harsh.  9 mana 7/6 hexproof sure get whatever you want at 9, the tutoring I feel is balanced by all the drawbacks, you might even want to take some off.
  • @ShadowReign at a glance, Kejharknor Dahkluk Ghanov is significantly weaker than Razaketh, the Foulblooded, especially since it ends the turn if you tutor. As such, I think you could easily get away with it being {3}{b}{b}{b} and removing the 'end the turn' clause (perhaps you could also have the creature sacrifice upfront instead of on the delayed penalty). It's also notable that players can't abuse the tutor trigger very easily with it being during the precombat main phase (the only phase we can't duplicate). If you want to keep the tutor trigger the way it is though, perhaps consider significantly lowering the mana cost and slightly lowering the power/toughness.

    @Sweda I don't think there's much to say here. Food players will appreciate another way to weaponize the Foods; feels like Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar but slower and in nicer colors.

    @SPyBondPlays I have no knowledge of the inspiration for these cards (also meme cards should probably be silver bordered), so I will proceed as though these were regular cards.
    • Drive Shot should probably be either a Sorcery or cost 1 more, because spells with varying damage output are scaled to take that into account. (Examples)
    • Inspiring Plea should also cost 1 more, since it affects all creatures your team controls (extrapolating based on these two cards since I can find no similar existing effect). It should probably also be blue given the secondary debuff to opposing creatures. Finally, a text correction: "Until end of turn, creatures your team controls get +1/+2 and creatures your opponents control get -1/-0." (See Combo Attack and Zealous Persecution).
    • As an additional note, for uncommon fuse cards the effects cost a bit more than they would normally. (Examples
    I'd appreciate commentary on this card:
    Thoughtscape Mystic

    Mentality is a personal custom mechanic: Mentality – [cost/condition] Reveal the top card of your library. [Effect based on the revealed card.] Then shuffle.

    Additional Mentality cards can be found here.
  • Okay yeah well I didn't really know about costing of fuse, thanks.
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