Worst Cards in the History of Histories *Custom Contest*

Hi guys, today you will be creating a remake of one of the worst magic cards ever. I won't give you a list or countdown of the worst cards or anything, so you pick a card you think is one of the worst, and remake it so it is actually balanced.


The card with the most points wins. Points are judged on:

+4 creativity

+1 theme

+6 balance

+2 overall flavor of the card

+2 artist acknowledgement

+3 liking (cards I like)

+2 rarity changes

+7 how bad the card originally was

Rarity Changes Chart 

+1 for common - uncommon
+2 for common - rare/mythic rare
-1 for same rarity
+1 for uncommon - rare/mythic rare

Prizes Chart

--Place--|--# of Favorites--|--Other Prizes--|
1st place |--------6------- |--Trophy Card--|
---------------------------------------- |
2nd place|--------4------- |-----None-----|
---------------------------------------- |
3rd place |--------3------- |-----None-----|
---------------------------------------- |
Honorable|-2 of my choice-|----None----|

How Long will you have?

I will judge the contest on June 30th provided there
are more than 5 entries. If there aren't I will give it
till July 5th

And Good Luck!!!!! :D


  • edited June 23
    Original Card: 

    New Card:

    Original Rarity: Uncommon.

    New Rarity: Uncommon.

    Also question! How many entries are we allowed?
  • edited June 24
  • In case we are allowed a second entry:

    Original card:

    New Card:

    Why I chose Blastoderm:
    I think most people agree Fading is one of the worst mechanics in mtg history (worst as in power wise.) This was released in the Masques block, also thought to be the weakest set in mtg history. So I tried to look for the worst Fading cards in those sets. Originally I chose Ancient Hydra (as you see above) but I only sorta fixed that one, making it a barely playable uncommon to a decent uncommon. But I wanted to make the jump from Common to Mythic Rare, so my choices were Blastoderm, Cloudskate, Skyshroud Ridgeback and Defender en-Vec. I decided to go with Blastoderm, as I saw an opportunity to use one of my favorite mechanics, keyword ability counters.

    What's still :

    So I wanted to keep most of the original Blastoderm in the new card design, and I think I have everything that was in the original card. 

    • Green 4 mana 5/5?
              The mana cost was easy enough to keep, and Adolve, Eldamri's Blastoderm is a 5/5 as long as it can enter the battlefield with its +1/+1 counters. And funnily enough, these three +1/+1 counters also act as...
    • Fading 3?
               Original, I kept the Fading ability similar to Ancient Hydra, then had the line "If a counter would be removed from Adolve, Eldamri's Blastoderm, you may choose which counter is removed from it." This kinda felt weird wording-wise, and with all the counters being kept on Adolve, I thought that Fading wasn't really needed anymore (5 different counters is enough!) Changing the requirement to remove any counter from Adolve saved valuable card space, which I ended up pushing to the limit. So fading is kept!
    • Shroud? 
               The answer here is: Sorta?  Hexproof has mostly replaced Shroud, so I didn't feel too bad about not having it all on the card. "But Adolve doesn't even start with Hexproof!" You're saying to yourself! Well, other than the fact that card space was tight, I thought it may be a bit too much considering the ability upgrade I gave him. Let's dive into that now.

    New Ability: Hexproof, Vigilance, Trample, (and Reach) Oh-My!
               Like I said earlier, I love keyword ability counters. When I saw the art of this weird, bubbly slobbering gecko wolf dinosaur thing, I felt that it would have fit well in Ikoria. I got the vibe that this thing's physical form was very volatile and unstable, hence the bubbling on its back and feet. This is probably why it had fading before, this creature is an abomination and can only exist for so long before melting into a pile of goo. 
                But like I said, fading is one of the worst mechanics in mtg history, and I think part of that is the feel bad moment when your creature fades away. So I sought to find a way to keep this creature's unstable form while making it more interesting. Remember how I called the Blastoderm a gecko wolf dinosaur thing? Well, I sorta leaned in on that for the design process of the upgraded ability. I felt that an explanation for the Blastoderm's appearance is due to it adapting and evolving rapidly, but due to its unstable form, it loses these adaptions just as rapidly. So being able to spend mana to put counters Blastoderm felt very fitting flavor-wise and it works very well for the psuedo-fading mechanic.
                 But why five different counters? Well, for one, it is a Mythic Rare, so its gotta be epic. But I choose these counters because they were the most "Green" keyword abilities. Trample and Reach are the big ones for Green, and Vigilance may be more of a white thing, but I feel as if Green also has a fair share of vigilant creatures. I feel Hexproof is also found on Green cards as well, but it is more of a homage to the shroud that the original Blastoderm had. Finally, +1/+1 counters are also a very green thing, and I thought it would only be fair to be able to keep on growing this guy once you have all the keywords you want on him, or as a way always be giving keyword counters during that Fading upkeep.

    Lore of the Card: Reason Behind the Name
                So why name him Adolve? Well, to be honest, I just mashed up adapt and evolve, and the name sounded kinda cool, so I stuck with it. Nothing complicated there :P
                 As for the rest of the card name, Eldamri's Blastoderm, I'll go a little more in depth. So the expansion that Blastoderm came from, the Nemesis Expansion of Mercadian Masques block, where the main characters are Urza, Volrath, Crovax, and Eldamri. Eldamri is the elf and green legend of the block, so I thought it natural to connect this Mythic Rare to him. Scouring the mtg wiki, I read a bit under Eldamari's lore, and found a section named A New Nemesis. Naturally, I thought this would be closest to the Nemesis block time-wise, and started to read. Eldamri fights against Crovax at some point, and I was caught by the line, "The lead candidate for the evincarship, Crovax, had decided to prove himself by attacking the Skyshroud and exterminating the rebel threat. Eladamri was well-prepared for Crovax's attack, however, and easily outflanked him by seizing the outermost border town, trapping Crovax's army in a pincer movement."  
                  Now taking a look at that art, I connected the scene immediately to this bit of lore, and took a few artistic liberties. Now, instead of this generic beast assisting Eldmri's army for only barely any significant amount of time, Eldamri has himself a new pet that he feeds his magic into to keep its form stable and powerful. However, if he doesn't feed his magic into the beast, it is only as powerful as him (a 2/2!) before fading away into existence. Just a fun little connection, Adolve's ability cost 2 green, the same amount to cast Eldamri.

    Kept the core ideas of the previous card (fading, big beater slightly above the mana curve, powerful keyword ability) and added a way to sink mana into it so it doesn't fade away and took some liberties with lore
  • edited June 24
    The original card:

     It...isn't great. The effect is ok, but it's overcosted.

     My card: 

    I tried to make this more cost-effective and indicative of an armistice while keeping to the original card's ability.
  • edited July 5
    My entry

    Scornful Egotist

    Fabe, Scornful Egotist

    Morph {X} (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)
  • @Jeroukoo we are allowed up to three entries
  • @Jeroukoo ; in case no one else mentions it, I looooove the design explanation. Thank you for a peek into your process.  Well done!  I don't know much about the grammar of how the text box has to be worded, but I think you did a great job, regardless!

  • Fading.... I hated fading... So many tokens!
  • Nice Cards so far!
  • @TerryTags
    Thanks! I feel when turning the super vanilla cards into something, I have to explain the point for any of the changes to make sense.

    Yes! Exactly! No one liked Fading, it was only introduced because Rath cycle was so broken
  • edited June 26

    Hello cardsmiths.  I picked "Life Matrix" from Legends.  Mostly because it costs WAY too much, but I still like the premise. I realize it's expensive because most artifacts, at the time, were intentionally nerfed by the designers due of artifacts' lack of color (since therefore it was easier to put artifacts in your deck), but still...

      Also I don't like how it's "Life" but this just keeps your character from going into the graveyard and doesn't affect your life total.  Regeneration matrix? Maybe?  I dunno.

    Anyway, here's my updated version, with a little Ravnica flavor:


    As you can tell, I got rid of the Regenerate mechanic and replaced it with Afterlife.  It seemed like a Regenerate keyword would go with a green color identity artifact, and I like the historical flavor of the Dark Ages Catholic church "indulgences" theme, so I went with "Afterlife Matrix" and treated this like an Orzhov artifact.  So, it's not exactly like the original artifact, but this is where my creativity took the premise!  Enjoy!

  • edited July 3
    Second entry, if that's okay?
    Here's the original awful card:

    Wow, you tap it and it Shocks you and Pyroclasm's your creatures, doesn't give you mana, and the oracle text for this reads: "Choose two target blocking creatures an opponent controls. If each of those creatures could block all creatures that the other is blocking, remove both of them from combat. Each one then blocks all creatures the other was blocking."  If you could figure out how to make your OPPONENT use this card, it might be useful, lol

    Here's what I tried to do with it:

    Okay, so with my updated card, imagine how it might synergize with these cards:

  • @TerryTags That card you made for sorrows path is really weak. Maybe even weaker.
  • Well, tapping that onto Ghalta is already really strong @joemamajoe, but yeah, the last ability weakens it.
  • Results are in:

    1st place @Jeroukoo with Ancient Hydra

    2nd place @SpellPiper2213 with Artmistice

    No 3rd or Honorable mention because there is not enough entries.

    Post your favourites here.
  • Yeah!! Thank you. Any 6 are fine to favorite!
  • edited July 5
    @Jeroukoo I favorited six
  • edited July 5
    @joemamajoe ;favorite any cards you want
  • Congrats to all contestants! Good contest, @joemamajoe !
    You were right about Shadow's Path, by the way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Oh well, I can't be awesome ALL the time!  Haha :smile:

  • @SpellPiper2213, I favorited six.
  • @Corwinnn, Close this plz.
This discussion has been closed.