I will review your cards on video

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  • Take a look in this set before judging these planewalkers.
    https://mtgcardsmith.com/account/sets/58333
  • @FireOfGolden The link is not working.
  • That is a lot of cards. I'll wait to post mine, hAH-
  • @Ashdust if you don't post your cards, someone else is going to post theirs.  Trust hilelandr to be able to prioritize.
  • @Jadefire Yeah, but I've given him a lot lately. I'll let other people do theirs first. I trust him, I'm just going to give him a break. From me, at least. 
  • @Arceus8523 (8 videos)


    @Ashdust
    Keep em coming!
  • I shall indulge this opportunity to randomly pick cards from my collection one by one for you to review live on YouTube! Go easy on me. I know my creations make no sense half the time! :smile:


    Page 2 - 2nd Card """""


    https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/dragon-moon-fandango
  • Mind taking a look at these?  Keep in mind all were designed to try and pressure the opponent to send mana on the tokens rather than spending that mana on developing thier board.
    I'll throw in Patches here even though he wasn't part of this design but he kinda does fall into the flavour and I think he is a versatile card and I'd like to hear your opinion.
  • edited April 28
  • edited April 29
    @hileandr Thanks for reviewing some comments to your critique 
    Uchigatana - I like your version better, it does pressure them better to pay and discard cards in not the most favourable situations. One should keep I mind that popping a blood token is not all upside if you have cards you are saving to play and don't really want to discard that is also part of the pressure.  I had the design to trigger the lose of half life upon damage in the style of Elden Ring's blood loss mechanic where a "blood loss bar" builds up and at full, the next hit causes a percentage of life is instantly lost, so in this case it was flavour over design.
    Grinding Riddle - This is why it's good to have another opinion, I remember running some calculations on weather to give 3 clues and I felt it might have been too slow so I opted for 4.  And of course when you're designing your own cards you get blinded and just want it to see it always work and I guess I fell into the trap.  This should have been designed to supplement a mill strategy rather then a kill card, if it was a kill card I should up the mana to 5 or 6.  Initially it was cumulative upkeep give a clue but wording was weird since the upkeep is on your turn but then I wanted it to be a curse, and curses typically have wording for during thier upkeep but you can't do cumulative upkeep then... yeah it got messy.  I also was thinking of a "get out" solution like sacrifice 15 clues and you can kill it, but I think there was space issues or how many to sac, too much and it'll be impossible, too little and it would only last 2-3 turns. 
    Brugmodes - I think again I fell into the trap of "This guy must work".  Giving two food to each and getting the effect for two food came from me wanting this guy to grow big each turn and the potential to have "leftover" food in commander. Third ability I wanted a kind of protection since he's fat, maybe give it ward {2} and/or absorb 2 until end of turn would have been better than shield counters, then again shield is new so I wanted it to try it.  
    Patches - I don't know, I like the deck build around/synergy potential he can enable and I think there should be more weight on interesting game interactions when judging a card's value.  For me, I value a card based on synergy with other cards and how well one can exploit it to get the full potential like getting multiple triggers, or two for oneing, I think Patches can do that.  I do appreciate your opinion, I thought losing 3 life was actually a bit high given it can potentially be repeated at no charge if you have a discard outlet, especially in 1v1. 
    Thanks for the taking the time to review, seems I ended up putting too much pressure for them to use the tokens and underestimated the punishment for not using the mana.  Also glad you took the time to analyze the gameplay scenario an pointed out the flaws when playing against it and how quickly the punishments can build up. Hope you thought they were an interesting design path for tokens as Wizard hasn't made anything like them yet.
    Edit: Mulling it over I think I can simplify The Grinding Riddle to be something like this:
    Enchant opponent. When it enters the battlefield they create <some large number like 13> clue tokens.  At the end of thier turn they mill card equal to the token they control.  If the Riddle leaves the battlefield destroy all the clues.  If there is room I can add an activated ability to make clue token for them or something.
  • @Sweda
    I had the design to trigger the lose of half life upon damage in the style of Elden Ring's blood loss mechanic where a "blood loss bar" builds up and at full, the next hit causes a percentage of life is instantly lost, so in this case it was flavour over design.
    Yeah I had a feeling that was the case. Design should always trump flavor (though I do love flavor!)
    Enchant opponent. When it enters the battlefield they create <some large number like 13> clue tokens.  At the end of thier turn they mill card equal to the token they control.  If the Riddle leaves the battlefield destroy all the clues.  If there is room I can add an activated ability to make clue token for them or something.
    That actually sounds like a better design, though 13 seems pretty high.
    Thanks for the taking the time to review, seems I ended up putting too much pressure for them to use the tokens and underestimated the punishment for not using the mana.  Also glad you took the time to analyze the gameplay scenario an pointed out the flaws when playing against it and how quickly the punishments can build up. Hope you thought they were an interesting design path for tokens as Wizard hasn't made anything like them yet.
    Of course! Thank you for putting yourself out there to be critiqued. I do think the designs were neat! I'd love to see more from you!

  • @ShadowReign
    Here are still some of the cards I made changes to since their video review:
    Descendant of Deception
    Syr Aban, Adventurous Sorcerer
    Xanmire, Bloodthirsty Tyrant
    Descendant looks better. I still think the pay 4 and discard 2 cards thing is odd, but I think I recall you saying that was some king of design constraint? If so, not much can be done there.

    Syr Aban looks more balanced. The only thing that's odd is that he stacks deathtouch counters.

    Xanmire looks better too, although now that he's a 6 power first striker you may want to consider changing his pollution counter from an attack trigger to a damage to player trigger.

    Overall, nice changes! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
  • edited April 30
    @hileandr
    Descendant looks better. I still think the pay 4 and discard 2 cards thing is odd, but I think I recall you saying that was some king of design constraint? If so, not much can be done there.
    No, the restraint was the second ability ("The first spell a player casts each turn is cast as though it was their second." Which now can trigger the second ability twice each turn, assuming you have enough mana.) In the video you mentioned the cost to cast the exiled card was a little steep. While yes, discarding two cards may seem rough, but in commander, it's almost always worth it, as in a deck built around this, your gonna be casting 7+ mana value cards that are face down in exile (making it harder to predict and prevent what's coming). Also, discarding doesn't have to be a downside seeing as you have access to cards like Archfiend of Ifnir, Bone Miser and Containment Construct. The ability was heavily inspired by Jhoira of the Ghitu.
    Syr Aban looks more balanced. The only thing that's odd is that he stacks deathtouch counters.
    Yeah, but it was the only way I could make it worth it to cast as a black card, and keep the text box looking nice. The only consolation is his color identity loves counters.
    Xanmire looks better too, although now that he's a 6 power first striker you may want to consider changing his pollution counter from an attack trigger to a damage to player trigger.
    He originally only triggered upon connecting with an opponent. He was compared to Grave Titan in video and there was some discussion about his ability being too weak for the "pay 10 life" pay off. So I opted, to change him to an attack trigger, so he can't be chump blocked. However, 6/5 first strike lifelink are pretty good stats, so he could probably be changed back, especially since it shouldn't be too hard to give him trample.
    Overall, nice changes! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.

    Thanks! No worries, I'm always looking forward to your reviews, whether they're mine or not. But I gotta be honest, I love hearing what you have to say about my cards; I've watched your review on Wanted Thief like 20 times.

  • @hileandr for when you review Haruni, keep in mind that the only reason his ability is cheap is that you have to cast the spells for their mana costs. 
  • edited May 2
    @hileandr

    Thanks again!

    My notes:

    Careful Chronarch is actually a twist on an existing card. I tried to figure out how to make it cheap enough to actually play but also with more interesting decisions to make.
    "The League" in the flavor text is the Izzet League. Could have spelled it out but it felt more flavorful not to.

    Absorb Essence and Phantasmal General were intentionally pretty powerful, because I was unsure of how powerful "illusionary" would be as a keyword. I was trying to push it to the breaking point. Phantasmal General was made before I tried making the ability into a keyword. I do agree that they're too strong.
    If I remember correctly, two cards I looked at when making Absorb Essence were Frilled Mystic and Trap Essence. Mind you, "comparable to Frilled Mystic" is a sign your counterspell might be a bit too strong.

    Spiral was specifically made to be a bit wacky with the bottom of the library thing. Flavor-wise, she's from a dimension where everything's topsy-turvy and strange. Also, interacting with the far future and all that. She's a comic book character, don't worry about it.
  • @FireOfGolden
    Am I next?
    I need to do TGBC next, but then it's you

    @Suleman
    "The League" in the flavor text is the Izzet League. Could have spelled it out but it felt more flavorful not to.
    Ah, of course. I forgot it was called the Izzet League.
    If I remember correctly, two cards I looked at when making Absorb Essence were Frilled Mystic and Trap Essence. Mind you, "comparable to Frilled Mystic" is a sign your counterspell might be a bit too strong.
    Frilled Mystic is indeed strong, but it costs 4 mana and is GGUU, which is a pretty heavy cost. The difference between a 3 and 4 mana counterspell are pretty huge. That's why cards like Cryptic Command can kind of get away with it (Though not sure if they would print Cryptic these days.) As for Trap Essence, it's close to what you have but costs 3 colors of mana and can only counter creature spells.

    Think about it this way: Nowadays, unconditional counterspells cost 1UU and have a minor upside. Exiling the spell, scry 1, things like that. Throw on an extra mana requirement (Like absorb) and you get almost a card's worth of additional value (3 life, 2 damage to player are close to a card but not quite there, just like a +1/+1 counter).

    Once you get to 4 mana, now you're at a card's worth. This is where you see "Counter target spell. Draw a card." In the case of Frilled Mystic, the card happens to come in the form of a creature, but you're adding 2 additional mana requirements.

    In the case of Trap Essence, 2 +1/+1 counters are worth about a card, but it has 3 mana requirements and can only counter creatures.

    Now to Absorb Essence: GUU for counter any spell and get 2 counters is borderline stronger than what you'd normally see, as the 2 counters are close to being worth a card. Now, tack on the fact that it's flexible (has kicker). Flexibility is another bonus, so without even knowing what the kicker effect is, you're now over the top of what a 3 mana counter should be able to support. Throw in the fact that the kicker ability is basically a Mind Control (for creatures at least) and you can see why I think this card is too strong.

    Hopefully my explanation makes sense.
    Spiral was specifically made to be a bit wacky with the bottom of the library thing. Flavor-wise, she's from a dimension where everything's topsy-turvy and strange. Also, interacting with the far future and all that. She's a comic book character, don't worry about it.
    Gotcha. This is one of the dangers of making "reference" cards. Of all the card's I've seen from you, your cards that do not reference other IPs have much stronger designs. This doesn't mean you shouldn't make reference cards, only that you need to be really careful. The reader might not get the reference, and design trumps any flavor you might gain from the reference for those that do get it.

    Overall I like what I'm seeing from you, though. Keep 'em coming!
  • edited May 2
    @hileandr Here's another card I would like reviewed please, which is also from the same set:
    Sepulchral Necromancy
  • @hileandr I hope you are excited for Corrinella and the theme present in the set
  • I enjoyed your breakdowns on Globert’s cards!

    Here’s a couple that I’m interested to hear your opinion on.

    Thrive is intended to be a Bant-identity ability usable in any of its three constituent mono-colors.


  • @hileandr


    I will add this planewalker and I am done for now.
  • @hileandr Since I forgot to add some important cards, I'll add them here.  Also, in Milina's Revolution there is a card called Houraiji's Infection Worsens.  The card has an effect upon reaching a Global Honkai Level of 10.  Could you treat this as if it reads, "Upon reaching a Global Honkai Level of 3"?

    Mech-Augment with reminder text: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/augmented-pupil-3?list=set&set=64215
    Lishenna's enchantment (changed the way I did conjure stuff in Milina's revolution and kept that change within my current sets): https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/destruction-in-white-and-black-2?list=set&set=64215

    Spell conjured by Time Doll: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/time-dilation-9?list=set&set=64216

    Creature created by Clera, Synthetic Apocalypse: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/apocalypse-engine?list=set&set=64216

    For Gakuren, these reminder cards should be looked at first:
    Honkai Reserve: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/honkai-counter-reserve?list=set&set=65241
    Global Honkai Level Tracker: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/global-honkai-level?list=set&set=65241

    Soulium Body Tokens created by Otto: https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/soulium-body?list=set&set=65241

    This should be everything to avoid any more confusion
  • Lets hear the thoughts on these two!

    ~island
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